.png)
I stick this question in mental health because it's relevant to my counselling.
I think the answer might be because men have no value outside of what they can do - what they can achieve, from a Patriarchal perspective. They have no inherent value as a person, it is only earned through competing with each other - but if they don't achieve mAnHoOd then they are worthless. However, if you can get another human being to depend on you then you mean something.
Other thoughts?
I'm going to say it's their provider instinct. They need to shape up and lean into that instinct to provide so we feel they are needed. In other words, they have to add value to our lives.
It's a spiritual thing. Their purpose so they lash out when women take their role. Someone noted on twitter than underachieving men are more likely to be trans, incels, or abusive to women. They're spiraling bcos they do not fulfil their role
Men like to be needed for the ego boost —if they’re needed than they’re not the useless bag of sh*t they think they are.
Most men I’ve met are walking paradoxes; they know they are hot garbage while simultaneously thinking they are the best dude ever. They seek out anything that cancels out the first and supports the second.
I honestly want some scientific explanation for this but I think it is because they are conditioned in a society where women are always moms and men are always hero. So they wanna be needed so bad cause they believe it's their destiny to have someone, especially women relying on them so they could feel like the hero they grew up with.
I always find it kind of funny (or rather: sad) that most men claim to want to "be needed" on one side but turn out to be completely, fucking useless when disaster actually strikes (even a small one) and they would have to step up because someone really needs them. They still love to see themselves as the big "protectors and providers" but when it comes to actually protecting and providing someone in need of help in a not selfserving way they almost all drop the ball. All of the prestige and privilege but none of the sacrifices.
We had a devastating natural disaster in my area recently and because my town got off comparatively easy I was among the first volunteers to help in the neighboring communities. The number of men and boys I have seen standing and sitting around being completely fucking useless because they "had back problems", "sprained their ankle", "had asthma", "were so tired" while their pregnant wives, teenage daughters and elderly mothers shovelled mud, cleaned rubble, searched for survivors, pets and possessions and tried to set up soup kitchens, first aid and some kind of order in their neighborhoods was a disgrace.
And on a smaller scale:
How many men volunteer to take care of a sick or elderly relative? And I mean the dirty, inconvenient caretaking, not taking grandma for a walk in her wheelchair. How many think that kind of work is something their wives or sisters should do instead?
How many men would fight an attacker and risk their lives to give their family a chance to escape?
How many men are actually prepared for a natural disaster and have an emergency plan to protect their family in mind if it strikes?
How many men even volunteer to get that last minute gift for the birthday you both forgot?
A HV man is an asset in any kind if emergency, not a liability.
I figured it was because if someone needs you, you have all the power.