Why do men use placeholder GF's and wives?

The answer is actually incredibly, insidiously simple: free labor and free access to regular sex. They’re absolutely aware they’re doing it too. Never buy into the hemming and hawing of these limp chodes that insist they just “don’t know” in a relationship. A man absolutely knows what he wants.

Because men are lazy

Because men are afraid they won't find better

Because women have low standards and will put up with anything once they are commited to a relationship

Because men don't see women as people, only as interchangable conveniences to ease their lives i.e: I like what she does for me

Because men don't care about wasting women's time. Culture tells men they can always have kids, they will always be attractive to women

Because men have convinced women that men shouldn't have to put any effort in relationships: no, you don't need a ring, that's expensive, no, the institution of marriage is broken, that's why we shouldn't do it you should just rely on my word that I'll be faithful, both men and women should pay for dates, sex has no cost for women

Men operate from fear-based scarcity mindset and punish women for that. They really believe that the mythical golden pussy out there is in very tiny amounts, when really they are too misogynistic to realize that every women out there is just as complex, interesting, and have a lot to offer as they are if they just saw us as actual human beings instead of holes. They could land their Dream Girl if they just put effort in themselves to become their very best versions of themselves, but why should they when society pampers his ass and tells him that no, it's his mother's fault, Stacy's fault, women's fault, etc, that he's so miserable with his life.

That's why I thank my stars in discovering FDS. You have to be ruthless and almost heartless if you want to find someone worthy of your time and energy nowadays if you are a woman.

I think males leave their girlfriends and wives all the time because they view women as disposable belongings. They don't love women in a true sense and if they think they have a "better" option, they take it.

I think the red flags would be:

1. He is broke/jobless/lazy/out of shape/generally not up to your standards. If you think he isn't up to your level and isn't good enough for you, he isn't. But he probably thinks his "dad bod" is hot and him not having a job is just him "discovering himself" because he thinks he's still a kid at 43 while you're "aging out" at 34. He will use you as free labor and free money to help him get to where he wants to be then he'll leave you if he gets there. (This was totally Chris Pratt).

2. He has the money and the time to do more for you, but he doesn't. If you feel like you're getting less than his best, you are. Bare minimum effort or cheap, lazy gifts are all absolute signs that he doesn't love you. He's saving his money for someone else.

3. It's been more than 2-3 years of dating and you have no ring. Or you're married, but he changed his mind about wanting kids. Or maybe you've been married for years and you have children, but he changed his mind about building the dream home or going on that month-long trip you've been planning. Or if there is anything you've been planning together that isn't happening, he's not invested in you anymore. He doesn't want his time and money being put into something major that ties himself to you.

I guess if I have any advice it's never stop vetting, never settle for less than what you deserve (which is a lot), take care of yourself and be prepared to raise those children on your own, and love yourself totally and unconditionally.

Honestly, I recommend everyone watch the Netflix Indian movie, Darlings. In a few first minutes, we get 3 big red flags that don't take years to show up, bc you can : jobless for ages; so late to meet her for a movie they miss it (in India, the Rapist's Dream Land?); her mom (also her genuine best friend) hates him. He is clashing with her only family, cares nothing for her safety, and has probably been celebrating his new job while leaving her waiting - or just left her there to see if she would wait. I would have cut someone off at being jobless, but even if you say he's young, it takes time, he still clashed with her mother and left her stranded.