Why do men ruin good relationships?

Society and patriarchy has essentially taught men since they were little boys that no matter how many times they mess up, it will be cleaned up and things will go back to normal. As children, their mommies were the ones who pick up the mess, help clean their noses and bottoms, and brush away the broken glass vase after a baseball mishap. This sort of apologism has gotten worse once us millennial babies were born, when the whole "spare the rod and spoil the child" thing became popular, to move away from our grandparents parenting styles that were a little more stricter and harsher back then when it came to consequences.

Society also taught men that no matter how many relationships or marriages they destroy, there will always, always, always, be a new woman ready to pick him up wherever he is in his life timeline, and start over again. Women aren't afforded this same type of privilege; we are told that we're now damaged goods, that our nether regions are of a lower quality and looser after having more than one partner before marriage. Society pardons men no matter the notoriety of his past transgressions with women- after all, it must've been the woman's fault, how else could we have explained the man's sudden cruelty towards her? If we can't even hold men responsible for raping drunk women, how in the world are we going to hold the same men responsible when he cheats on his wife of 10 years?

TL;DR - Men can start over no matter what, and that's why they never fear of losing a good woman, because there will always be a next time for them.

It’s the entitlement and lack of empathy. Rock and O’Neill never genuinely loved their wives, nor any woman for that matter. To men like them, women are just of use, like wife appliances. Replaceable. Clearly they just used their wives to have children with and to make them look like respectable family men at the time, which advanced their careers. Meanwhile, O’Neill was lying through most of the 90s about scoring on Cindy Crawford FFS - he later had to issue an apology for that lie.

Famous men and professional athletes are notoriously unfaithful and duplicitous. Nobody should ever seriously date them thinking the connection is real. Now they’re old and are just out there telling scrotey cautionary stories as impression management now.

Notice they are always the hero of their little self-pitying version of events. Rock never tells the story of how he rejected their adopted child, which would’ve caused most good wives to nope right outta there. O'Neill frames his sad sausage tale of woe as the trauma of him being all alone in his 76k square foot home - meanwhile his wife and children had to be uprooted from their family home because he couldn't keep it in his pants. But these 2 epically entitled cheating men who messed up their childrens' lives still believe themselves the real victims here. Years later!

I Think for men it largely depends on whether their father taught them to be faithful and honest, and modelled that themselves. The fathers teach through their behaviour and teach

what men‘s relationship to women is. So many fathers lied, betrayed and terrorized their women and so many boys (who I hesitate to call men, only in the literal sense) grew up believing that’s just “how men are” and women just need to get that it’s not a big deal, or personal when they lie cheat and abuse. It’s actually dehumanization. Women shoudlnt be upset about cheating because they aren’t fully human like men (cause all these men aren’t okay with the woman getting other men). It gets minimized as normal and inevitable behaviour. Nobody feels bad for behaviour if they can tell themselves honesty and faithfulness can’t really be expected. In my opinion women get super gaslighted with false stories about redemption, men are often treated as though they are always doing their best, and getting better, or they treat someone bad because she’s not the “one”. This is all garbage, I think the only thing to do never Date a man who doesn’t have a strong sense of OBLIGATION to be honest, empathetic and monogamous / committed. The idea that people radically change, or will radically change for the next women I think is bogus. I bet Shaq and Chris Rock will still be the same even if they get a new relationship now. Until they are 60 and hormonally castrated but you know what too late they don’t deserve anything then but to die alone. That’s literally how they treated women and didn’t give a damn so boo hoo. every disaster of a Man always had a dad who was a piece of garbage. This doesn’t mean feel sorry for them because they turned into their dad, no amount of insight can alter the lack of conscience. C S Lewis said Something along the lines of he would rather play cards with someone who was taught that cheating was wrong than someone who is a moral philosopher and goes in about morals and values. if a conscience isn’t there by childhood it ain’t coming.

Ego

I don’t think most men want a good relationship. Having bad relationships gives them an out to f*ck many different women and not just one like being a stable, kind, married man would allow them. Men know what they’re doing. The guy who ghosted me for the holidays last year had told me that he’s always pushed away the good girls for the bad ones. So they know what they’re doing, and since their highest allegiance is to their penis and dipping it into as many women as they can without incurring any sort of ties or commitments, they’ll continue to destroy the good women that come into their lives. Why wouldn’t they? They’re getting their highest wants and their ego served by not being good in relationships. The guy who’d ghosted me had a cheating father who’d molested him with the help of his older brother, and he seemed to be more angry at his long suffering mother who’d had an abortion. I was thinking his mother saw what a terrible situation she was in—2 boys, a cheating husband and a son that molested her youngest son, and she decided not to bring another child into this family to suffer. Then when they moved from Ukraine to America, she divorced the father and remarried. What else would she do when she wasn’t educated and was a housewife? This guy could’ve grown up and decided to not be like his evil father, but no, he decided to act just like him it seems. I could very easily be an abuser, too, since I grew up under terrible abuse, but I’d never want anyone to cry and hurt like I have. I’ve always wanted to break the generational curses and have a good family, but that requires the participation of a man. And they don’t want to do that.

My mother’s take on my ex-husband is that while he was attracted to all of my strengths, having to live at my level took effort that ultimately he couldn’t sustain. We had a beautiful home, great kids, travelled and entertained; everything we both wanted. But where I enjoyed investing my time and money into our lifestyle he wanted those things for free. When I discovered his gambling addiction, he looked me in the eye and said he was doing it for us. To him, the goal was to get off life on hard mode. Ah yes the notorious difficulty of being a highly educated white upper middle class home owning couple in the UK 🙄 Naturally the gambling didn’t work and to make himself feel better about the losses and his debt, he turned to porn. Now he lives alone in a scruffy house, never goes anywhere and has no friends. His life looks pretty hard to me. My conclusion? Men like my ex are greedy and lazy. Even when they have everything, they want more and for less effort. They fail to see that half of the joy of a thing is working for it.

Because they're the lesser/dumber sex. The end.

Entitlement

I love their song “change of heart” btw it has sort of a same theme where he gets a beautiful lady and makes her like him then starts acting like a dick.

”you used to have a face straight out of a magazine. Now you just look like anyone“

”finding someone equally pretty won’t be hard. I just had a change of heart”