Why do men make themselves so ugly?

Because they have been coddled and treated like little kings who can do no wrong from childhood on while girls have been told that there is something wrong/to improve with their looks and bodies and that they need to compete for male attention since they were toddlers.

Because they are still praised for the bare minimum (like taking a shower and changing their underwear every day).

Because society still considers grooming and caring about your appearance a feminine trait.

Because "she needs to love me the way I am -even dirty and stinky- or she's a superficial bitch! Only that is true love!" and "Even the ugliest guy gets rewarded with a supermodel girlfriend at the end of the movie/series/game" is the message of the majority of romances depicted in the media they consume.

I agree honestly, most men these days are so unattractive 🤦🏼‍♀️ My son is 7. I taught him how to be clean, moisturize his body after he showers, put cream on his face, put water based cologne and brush his hair nicely. He cuts his nails and does his routine by himself. He always looks so handsome when he leaves to school or we go out and he smells so good. He opens doors for me now and I taught him to be gentle with babies and girls. He also helps around the house by cleaning after himself, helping with his laundry and the dishes. He looks after his female cousins all the time and gets them what they need. I hope he turns out to be a HVM because that’s my job now and my main focus to raise him well.

It's called "fightin' the hot" and it is pandemic. Men seem to be going out of their way to look their absolute worst, with scraggly beards, long hair, and ugly clothes. A lot of them will turn their underwear inside out to get another day out of them. They won't work out, but they'll watch Joe Rogan and he talks about working out, so they consider themselves fitness experts and will shame women who are in much better shape than them. Do not give these men the time of day.

I've asked myself this so many times. It ranges from laughable to downright repulsive how some men present themselves in public. They need women as a collective to refuse to date them and publicly shame their lack of hygiene or effort. And oh my gosh these gross long greasy ponytails seem to be everywhere at the moment? Like, if they can't even make the effort to wash and care for their hair when it's short, why tf are they growing it out? So they can have a larger nit farm? It's got to the point that me and my friends just point out ugly guys and cringe when we go people watching. I'm lucky if I see one decent, attractive and well groomed man each couple of days and I live in a big city. The funny thing is that taking care of your appearance is so much easier as a man anyway. Nobody is telling them to dress a certain way, remove body hair, wear makeup or have a certain unrealistic body type. They literally just have to wash, do basic exercise (it's easier for men to stay in some sort of shape than women anyway) and wear clean clothes that fit them. They can't even do that right.

Many women vastly underestimate the importance of attractiveness. Men often go to the opposite extreme by having ridiculously high standards for physical appearance, but women don't pay enough attention to it. We have been culturally brainwashed to believe that the looks of a man don't matter. But they really, really do. Biologically, it should matter even more to women that it does to men, but we've learned to deny ourselves our wishes and preferences. Never settle in the looks department, just don't. No matter how much people want to tell you it's superficial. You need to be 100% attracted to your partner, everything else is a recipe for desaster (ask me how I know). Most men age more visibly than women, so you need to make sure your man will still be decently good looking to you in 15, 20 or 30 years. It's not wrong to want an attractive partner, in fact, it's in men's best interest anyway, since they are the ones who enter relationships because they want regular access to sex. Why wouldn't they want to be sure that their female partner will continue to want to sleep with them? Attraction can't be negotiated. I loved my ex dearly, but I was rarely turned on by him. Feelings and thoughts can't override that. Now I'm with a man who ticks all my boxes physically and the difference is like night and day. I always used to think that looks aren't "that important" if everything else fits, but this will only come back to bite you later. I'm not saying women should only date supermodels, the point is that the man should be hot TO YOU, whatever that looks like. One can be wildly attracted to people who don't fit (all) beauty ideals, but there has to be something there. But yeah, most men fail at basic grooming tasks, so... Sigh. It's no wonder so many women have put sex/attraction the bottom of their priority list. Saves you a lot of disappointment.

that's one of the many reasons why i've decided to stay single forever.

To be fair with you even men at twenty and thirty are ugly! Especially men from my country...they are short af, they don't have fit bodies, some of them have receding hair lines or shaved heads...they are mostly average in looks and the fact that I'm very picky to begin with doesn't help either (I'm only attracted to above average) With all of this it becomes impossible to find a man that deserves a second glance...the times that I have seen a handsome man that I felt Attraction toward are very rare that I could count them...and most of these men were celebrities lol

This is a conversation I will always have because I have even been told by men that they refuse to take care of themselves physically. Live however you want but why do you feel entitled to a woman who takes great care of her appearance? Its so depressing you guys, I can count on one hand how many attractive strangers I have seen in my lifetime.

Also the kpop thing is so true! These men are so beautiful, obviously they have styling and all that but I dont expect the average man to look like that at all. Rather, like you said, it proves that men can be so damn beautiful if they tried.

Same energy here, what RPopcorn said, about keeping other men in check by demanding the lowest possible standards for all and shaming those who try to level up. It’s not directed at us but like violence, all men think they benefit when the bar is low. No one benefits and everyone suffers!

Because they're still drinking the Kool-Aid that women don't care about looks slash money will overcome them being gross slash women his thirty and become desperate.

But yes, a well-groomed, well-dressed man can cause me to do a double-take... usually until he opens his mouth but before then it's all good.

It's an epidemic, it's like another passive aggressive way of tormenting women. A guy like that hitting on me or god forbid showing up to a date in that condition is an insult, it says he has no self respect and doesn't respect me enough to make the effort either, he's looking for a "nurse with a purse". Anyone with any brains would feel too embarrassed to approach a woman looking like they just crawled out from beneath a park bench.

Could you imagine the reaction if women showed up in charity shop reject clothes 2 sizes too big, smelling like stale old spice with a beer gut they jokingly bragged about "investing a lot of money in" and generally looking dishevelled? Men would flip out.

I've just been listening to the FDS podcast on online dating and they talk about how you have to swipe through so many bad profiles and how exhausting it is to see the parade of mugs you would never consider in a million years. That's what I found the most irritating part of the apps, the context made it feel like I was being hit on by these ugly slimy looking guys, I felt like my eyes had been violated. The teeth, eww, who'd want to kiss that and they look 20 years older than they claim. I saw one guy saying he was 35 with a skeletal face, a Mr Burns waxy complexion and liver spots, he thought a bit of hair dye was going to erase 70 years of hard living. Another guy my age bragged about never having to cut his hair, he said it just gets to a certain length and falls out, saves him money apparently. What's with the unshaven look? On a young guy and well maintained facial hair maybe, but as soon as the grey starts coming in a 3 day growth just looks grubby, shaving at least there's some exfoliation going on.

I do find some guys attractive but they're not the average guy, but then I've never been into meh guys at any age anyway. I generally treat guys I'm not attracted to like they're homeless unless it's obvious they've made an effort in which case they get the bare minimum, I learnt the hard way ugly men will hold onto the slightest perception of acknowledgement and interpret it as you wanting to sleep with them.

I have an observation that is a little based on your topic. Recently I noticed a very good-looking man at my workplace. My building has multiple businesses that reside in this building. He works for another company. My office window gives me a view of who comes and goes. I see this guy regularly. He is very well put together, clean clothes, works out, pressed shirts. Like he looks like he takes care of himself. And I noticed no wedding ring. But I was thinking, he looks too put-together. He looks taken care of. Like, men to a degree take care of themselves, but this was the mark of a woman taking care of this man. And sure enough, I noticed he is wearing a ring now. I didn't see him everyday, but enough to notice the lack of a ring and now I see he's one of those guys that on/off wears his ring.

I just realized at this point, that if a man looks too put-together, he is being taken care of by a woman. Doesn't matter if he is married or not. A woman is involved. (Or he is gay.)

I went out last weekend with My friend and her male friend. Had a great time, but was looking around and holy cow the amount of ugly men that don't even try was way too high. We were in the nice part of town at the bougier restaurants and then the bougier night club. The women were mostly wearing little black dresses, heels /flats, and in general had their hair and makeup done in a more glam and elegant way. Then there were the dudes and they were mostly in the Ed Sheeran style: either workout clothes completely with smelling sweaty and looking greasy, or a cheap t shirt and jeans with scraggly beards looking like they just rolled out of bed. To make it worse they were approaching these elegant women like that. A man approached me smelling like cigarettes and looking scraggly and I told him to his face I wasn't a fan of smokers and wasnt interested. Even my friends male friend looked so greasy and was wearing a gym tank top and gym shorts to go out with his! His hair looked like it hadn't been washed in a week and he had such a greasy face and a unibrow because he wasn't grooming. My friend immediately called him out and was like "dude you didn't change?" And I backed her up like "did you just come from the gym?" No guys even try. The city has a large pool of guys my age that are single but they do not even try and I'm not gonna entertain them.

i never dated or had any crushes on boys in school not even in College and schooling for me was like 15-18 years worth of my life? All the boys in my cohort up to college were some of the ugliest, goofiest looking dudes, they were rude, rowdy, just annoying to be around. I was a complete tomboy, didn't care at all to wear make up or care about my looks as a teenage girl either cause really who was I even trying to impress? College rolled around and same thing.

Literally the only genuinely gorgeous men (for me, anyway) are Rob Lowe in his youth and Austin Butler.

Because they're mothers doted on them since childhood.