Who should message first? Me or him?

I mostly let them message first- but honestly it doesn't really matter. Chat on dating apps isn't worth your time/investment, don't worry or fret over them not responding or if you messaged first or what- it doesn't matter. It won't help a man 'see who you are' if he isn't interested in meeting you. Most men want something from you- they don't care to get to know you except to figure out what they can get from you. So many guys are on the apps for attention (are already in relationships) or they are looking for a cookie cut out of a wife who can fit into their life -notice how all their 'what I want in a partner' prompts are you joining them on their activities as a side character (like 'someone to go to concerts with)

If they match and don’t bother to message 🗑

Him. Messaging first = chasing.

him, obviously? if you have to ask then you need to reread the handbook, sis.

Why would you text a man first ?

HVW do not chase men. A man worth your time will put the effort into letting you know he wants that time. We do not tell men how to do better, so if he doesn’t initiate or meet your standards then he has given you his answer and it’s time to move to better options. But to be honest, Hinge is for hook ups, not high value relationships. Any man you meet on that platform is there with a hook up in mind so don’t act shocked and surprised when you pull trash men out from the trashcan. It’s not where a HVW should go to initiate a long term committed relationship. Re-read the handbook and try to work on your level up. Figure out your standards then have the men you converse with meet those standards before you allow them more access to you and your time.

Ah this is exactly why I deleted hinge. I hate that the guys version of “hi” is “x” started the chat. They’re finding new ways to get lazier.

Take it from me, never message first, even after you've been texting for awhile. I had zero texting standards other than don't blow up my phone, and I never thought me messaging first was pathetic or icky, I thought I was touching base. Men find it pathetic and icky, even when they literally expect you to message them.

You should read the handbook

Him obviously

It doesn‘t matter. The first message is an ice-breaker, you’ll get a better idea of interest from how he drives the conversation (or not) and from speaking in person. Getting hung up on little details like who messages first is how OLD becomes exhausting.