100000% bc if the woman likes the man more, she’ll be chasing. Nothing worse than that. You need a man to be devoted to cherish every moment he gets to spend in your presence. He will also do anything and everything for a dreamgirl who keeps him on his toes.
Men's nature is exploitative (when not predatory). So for the relationship to be balanced, men should invest more. Because even his big investment wouldnt match women's baseline level of investment
Men should like the woman more. I was hearing a popular radio station one day where the Host was explaining the relation advice that an elder women had said was the secret to a long marriage. She said “the man had to love the women just a little more then the woman does”. Both hosts were like.. well.. that’s messed up.. but at the same time acknowledged that was true. The host said “her saying that feels wrong, but I agree with her, the man does need to love the women just a little more”. They opened the lines to some callers, and a dude totally agreed to. He said that when a man loves more, he’s willing to try hard to impress her, to make her happy, to keep her satisfied. Both the caller and the host agreed that’s why, even though the older womens comment felt off, she was right, because men try harder when they love more..TBH I think all men know this. They might not consciously believe it or articulate in this way. But when they truely desire a women, they work harder for them. They do more things for them, they try make sure they keep them happy.
I think I look at this sometimes at another angle here: It's not so much that we should be with a man who loves us way more than we love them, it's about being with men who seem to invest more into the relationship than we do, because on a biological level, women have way more to lose out if we mate with the wrong man. Single motherhood, especially when the woman doesn't have access to high paying jobs or help from other people in her life, is very difficult and traumatizing to the children when exposed to things like poverty.
People always say that the best relationship is 50/50, but as we have experienced as well as learned so far, that just isn't true. Men must give anywhere between 70 to 80 of the relationship via his time, attention, finances, gift giving, physically taking care of the woman, protecting her and their children, giving her a much better lot in her stable by giving her a nice house she can be in cozily, so on so forth. It is in man's nature to provide. The woman, receives happily and then only gives back 30 to 20 of the relationship, via her loving him back, love making/sex, looking beautiful and sexy for his eyes to enjoy, and being loyal once the commitment is agreed upon.
We do not lift more fingers after that. Things like household chores will be up to the individual couples depending on lifestyle and money factors, and shouldn't always solely depend on the woman to do so.
Your comment does not make sense. If men should invest more because the risk of choosing the wrong person is higher for women, that is reasonable, but to the point where everything a woman does is just to please her man sexually while he has a bigger proportion of responsibility in everything, even in childcare and housework, then this is just exploitative and also degrading for women as if we are just sex objects and do not have a sexuality of our own that needs to be satisfied. If a man's primary purpose of marrying is to be pleased sexually that is a red flag. Also everyone's energy and time are limited, women these days are the ones giving 70 - 80 of the total effort in a relationship and we always point out how exploitative and harmful that is, and I do not see this is any different for a man. If you have pursued a HVM then the risk of choosing the wrong guy is eliminated, so letting the man do most of the work is unfair. I do not even agree with reducing effort and love into numbers and percentages, what matters most is if this person is adding value to a woman's life and he is actively trying to make her life better and the way to achieve this differs from a woman to another. Also if the only way for a woman pass on her genes is to be sexy and fertile, not also a smart, skillful mother and wife (every family needs one) we will go back to the old, patriarchal ways where there is no need for women to be successful in anything to be married, thus easier to exploit. And I know FDS encourages women to be successful, but if one of the most important life decisions requires the woman to be sexually pleasing ONLY, then that's a contradiction here.
This is a different take compared to the rest of the comments but feelings are very subjective and prone to change in a matter of seconds. Feelings are never constant and stable, especially over long periods of time and you can never measure them so such questions imo are a waste of time and thought. What matters is to find a person whose objective side of love and partnership, where materialistic matters and basic beliefs are, is that of a person of high value. If a time passes where a relationship is in a phase of boredom, for example, at least there should be communication and respect because HV people will always be mindful of the SO's dignity and needs. I am not saying feelings don't matter, all I am saying is that rationality matters too as well, if not a little bit more.
I've always believed the best relationship is when both people love each other equally.
I'm willing to wait for that. Im not going to settle for a man who im not into just because he loves me, and I'm also not willing to chase after a man when he's not really into me.
I know its entirely possible to attract this beautiful and healthy relationship.
I don't think love is the best qualifier here. It's what he does with that love and how he shows it to you.Men need to provide more to women for both parties to be happy. Women are the prize and they are supposed to pursue us and work to keep us. I think in the ideal relationship, both parties would love each other equally but the man would show this by providing around 70% in response to her 30%. For instance, anything financial - he should pay for. Manual jobs around the house too. He also needs to help with the housework and potentially childcare, especially if the woman also works. The only things a woman should need to provide to a man are her presence, good conversation, intellect etc.
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The man should always like the woman more.
Men's nature is exploitative (when not predatory). So for the relationship to be balanced, men should invest more. Because even his big investment wouldnt match women's baseline level of investment
Men should like the woman more. I was hearing a popular radio station one day where the Host was explaining the relation advice that an elder women had said was the secret to a long marriage. She said “the man had to love the women just a little more then the woman does”. Both hosts were like.. well.. that’s messed up.. but at the same time acknowledged that was true. The host said “her saying that feels wrong, but I agree with her, the man does need to love the women just a little more”. They opened the lines to some callers, and a dude totally agreed to. He said that when a man loves more, he’s willing to try hard to impress her, to make her happy, to keep her satisfied. Both the caller and the host agreed that’s why, even though the older womens comment felt off, she was right, because men try harder when they love more.. TBH I think all men know this. They might not consciously believe it or articulate in this way. But when they truely desire a women, they work harder for them. They do more things for them, they try make sure they keep them happy.
I think I look at this sometimes at another angle here: It's not so much that we should be with a man who loves us way more than we love them, it's about being with men who seem to invest more into the relationship than we do, because on a biological level, women have way more to lose out if we mate with the wrong man. Single motherhood, especially when the woman doesn't have access to high paying jobs or help from other people in her life, is very difficult and traumatizing to the children when exposed to things like poverty.
People always say that the best relationship is 50/50, but as we have experienced as well as learned so far, that just isn't true. Men must give anywhere between 70 to 80 of the relationship via his time, attention, finances, gift giving, physically taking care of the woman, protecting her and their children, giving her a much better lot in her stable by giving her a nice house she can be in cozily, so on so forth. It is in man's nature to provide. The woman, receives happily and then only gives back 30 to 20 of the relationship, via her loving him back, love making/sex, looking beautiful and sexy for his eyes to enjoy, and being loyal once the commitment is agreed upon.
We do not lift more fingers after that. Things like household chores will be up to the individual couples depending on lifestyle and money factors, and shouldn't always solely depend on the woman to do so.
This is a different take compared to the rest of the comments but feelings are very subjective and prone to change in a matter of seconds. Feelings are never constant and stable, especially over long periods of time and you can never measure them so such questions imo are a waste of time and thought. What matters is to find a person whose objective side of love and partnership, where materialistic matters and basic beliefs are, is that of a person of high value. If a time passes where a relationship is in a phase of boredom, for example, at least there should be communication and respect because HV people will always be mindful of the SO's dignity and needs. I am not saying feelings don't matter, all I am saying is that rationality matters too as well, if not a little bit more.
I've always believed the best relationship is when both people love each other equally.
I'm willing to wait for that. Im not going to settle for a man who im not into just because he loves me, and I'm also not willing to chase after a man when he's not really into me.
I know its entirely possible to attract this beautiful and healthy relationship.
I don't think love is the best qualifier here. It's what he does with that love and how he shows it to you. Men need to provide more to women for both parties to be happy. Women are the prize and they are supposed to pursue us and work to keep us. I think in the ideal relationship, both parties would love each other equally but the man would show this by providing around 70% in response to her 30%. For instance, anything financial - he should pay for. Manual jobs around the house too. He also needs to help with the housework and potentially childcare, especially if the woman also works. The only things a woman should need to provide to a man are her presence, good conversation, intellect etc.
Never let him fully catch you. The one that feels the most loses unfortunately 😩