I'm in my early 40s. I was having a discussion with my dad tonight and we were discussing some painful stuff. He was advocating that if I couldn't find the right man, then it can be useful to be introduced to someone. In response, I told him that if there's a man in his 40s who has trouble finding a woman and needs to be introduced, I sense that there is something wrong with him, and so does society, but when a woman in her 40s has trouble finding a man, it doesn't weird people out as much. My dad didn't think there was any difference in the two situations but I do. How wrong am I on this?
top of page
.png)
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
bottom of page
You're spot on.
There's a huge difference between a mid-40s never-been-married woman vs man. Women staying single is self-preservation, whereas men staying single usually means they have a warped perspective of women. Since men benefit the most from marriage, his failure to secure a wife is a reflection of his own failings
When a man walks into a party, there are like 30 single, totally marriageable quality women to choose from. If a single woman walked into that same party, she'd be lucky to find one guy who's single and not tragic.
I heard of a saying a while ago that went something like, "If a man is single, it's his fault. If there is a beautiful woman who is single, it's other men's fault." idk if it was here or somewhere else lol, but yeah, I never blame women for being single no matter how old she is because like......... the state of today's men is basically to blame for why so many women are so reluctant in dating nowadays.
Also your dad needs to mind his own business. Just saying.
You’re right, he’s wrong. Women vet men. Not the other way around. Women initiate majority of divorces and throw the bad fish back into the ocean. Same with dating. The older single male is seen as creepy. “Grumpy/lecherous old man” etc. but the elderly single woman is seen as harmless. Even society sees it this way. And for good reason. If you had an emergency and had to choose between the 60yr old man and 60yr old woman to watch your toddler for 4hrs who would you choose? Men know the bar is low, and are very distrustful of males who are seemingly unable to hop over this low bar. It’s all fun and games when everyone’s young, males live vicariously through their peter pan complex friends, but eventually will not bring them around the kids. They’re simply not vetted. Men reward men that are vetted by women at work with career progression.
If we are longtime single women past a certain age (whatever that age may be), should we pretty much surrender to the idea of hoping for an HVM, then? What if we do get legitimately lonely for a man, later in life? I have never been married btw.