.png)
Some time ago, I read a post on here that talked about how men who don't want relationships shouldn't be with women who do and that most of these men, end up leading on women that they don't really want to be with.
This is a trait that I don't want in a man which is why when I hear of men talking about having had long-term girlfriends that they're no longer with, my mind immediately thinks about how they led these women on that they never saw a future with.
When I think of the many things I don't want in a man, it makes it very clear that I'm likely to be single for a long time, if not forever because many things I don't want in a man are the exact things many men have done or are presently doing.
These are just some of the things I wouldn't want in a man that many men have done/do:
+ A guy who has never cheated
+ A guy that has HV male friends
+ A guy that has never led a woman on in any capacity - e.g. flirting with a woman he had no intention of pursuing, flirting with women while being in a relationship with another woman
+ A guy who doesn't do drugs or drink excessively (or drink at all)
etc.
It just goes to show how so many men are so badly behaved that finding men who behave decently is a dime a dozen.
It's insane!
i could have written this post. the minute i decided i would stop accepting men below the standards i've set, i realised i was going to be single forever. it's just reality plain and simple. i want the basics of human decency and they can't even give me that. "oh but hvm do exist, stop with the scarcity mindset". i got tired of looking and tired of the traumas i experienced whilst looking. so i'm perfectly fine with singlehood. if a hvm ever crosses my way, he's going to have to work really fucking hard to get my attetion and he has men to blame.
I've pretty much come to the same conclusion. I want to get married, but if he is also so inept that he can't even do basic shit like remembering to take his own goddamn vitamins without me telling him to then it's a no-deal. Guys expect to be babied so much these days it's ridiculous and such a turn off for me
I truly have never EVER met a man I would marry. Like ever. There are many I found cool, interesting or attractive but never did a man check all the boxes. A good thing about me is I never doubt myself when it comes to this, i never thought I was being too picky. I just realized I was never impressed by any of them to a degree that makes me actually fall in love with them. Its almost amusing.
Literally it’s the bare minimum and I have the EXACT same problem. Almost every man I know has cheated, and of the ones who I don’t know whether they have or not, will have some other major vice that’s unacceptable, like leading women on for attention etc.
And it's strange that the mindset of women is to just try harder to keep a man in a relationship with her, especially when she sees all the red flags and incompatibilities. It helps not to make excuses for men's behavior but cut off at the first sign of disrespect.
It’s has been difficult to wrap my head around this one. the only time I was absolutely in love with a man and wanted to spend my life with him, it turned out to be love-bombing. It wasn’t him.
i paid dearly for it for the 2nd and 3rd years. It became very abusive, emotional at first them physical as well. i still feel angry about it, but the anger is more dull as time goes on.
that alone makes me think that if someone else who seems perfect comes my way, it’s probably fake. It’s not the worst thing to know this, but also makes me even more interested in what else there is in life besides romance and has made partnership an afterthought.
I don’t think I will have anything real especially because I have your same list but with like another 100 things added! not to be competing-just saying, you can make a list and date one guy and he will add a few more things to the list because being disappointing comes in many forms.
it’s funny cause the only real “connection” I felt mentioned during a love bombing phase that cycled through a few times, I just felt that it was the first time a passion for another person was reciprocated for me. So basically it was the only time a man had been showing effort at the same level as I was. it really wasn’t as impressive as I thought it was at the time!
I was married happily the second time for 17 years, now widowed six and very possibly single for the rest of my life. I’m 54 and the thought doesn’t scare me since I have family, friends, community. I’d like more friends and am working on that but I’m patient. It doesn’t get better as you grow older. Gen X men my age still have entitlement issues and I’m not having it, hence (sorry to harp but it’s trueeeee!), living apart for the win. It just works on so many levels. I have no kids, don’t want his. Don’t want any extra cooking, cleaning, caregiving. I want a man who’s also an introvert, who appreciates his own space just the way he wants it, and who’s also house proud and keeps things tidy. (I have a housekeeper and for me, the small expense is worth it. I’m not a good cleaner.) Know what you do and don’t want! Just had a scrote contact me on OLD this morning. He led with a comment on looks. I asked if he read my profile. He said (I think?) he went back and read it and “wasn’t impressed”. I said ok, same, then deleted. No need to block since if one person deletes, game over. Thank you next!