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I don't know exactly why this makes me so livid, but it's happened in multiple relationships I've been in in the past and when it's dropped these days, I just see it as a turn-off honestly.
Why on earth do men, if they're clearly beginning a dating-type situation with someone, ie. taking her to dinner, making out with each other, interested in each other, clearly this is not some *buddy* situation... describe the initial phase of dating as "we were hanging out" or while he's starting to court you says, "I'm excited to hang out"???
I can't put my finger on exactly why it bothers me so much, but I think it's because it makes it appear as if you were both some odd platonic buddies who just tripped and fell into dating one another or something. It seems to erase the whole male pursuit that either should have happened or is happening, as if the guy doesn't want to admit that he does the chasing... does it bother anyone else? Any insights?
If he says we’re “hanging out” I’m most certainly blocking and deleting. Don’t be a coward. Make your romantic intentions clear or piss off.
They're actively devaluing the dating/mating game. They're telling you they don't value women who are sexually available -AS THEY SEEK YOU OUT. It's so frustrating bc it's just a -well why are you here then? -and they have no good reason except they have nothing to lose and everything to gain as they scope out a woman passive enough to let him steal his gains from her
When they say “hanging out” it’s like they are actually saying “I can get everything I want from this while making zero commitment, including the commitment of simply acknowledging what is actually happening”. FUCK THESE SCROTES
You’re not alone. That phrase activates something in my brain that gives me the intense urge to just throw down.
This reminds me of my younger, more unexperienced days. This one time I dated a guy who would introduce me as his friend. It was so horrifying. I was sleeping with him too as I didn't know any better. But he introduced me to his mom as his friend. I would have rather been introduced as nothing, like hey mom, this is so and so. Not hey mom, this is my friend so and so.
Like, what if Jack from Titanic was like hey Rose, we're just hanging out (after they had sex and she left her fiancé for him)
Plausible deniability to owing you any respect or care
But we're not dating as response to any expectation
Basically trashy self serving scrotes
I used to hang out with my cat pre baby, I think the last time I "hung out" with friends I was 18 and going for a Macca's run. Teenagers hang out, men date.
Yep. You're right to be mad about this. It's cowardly and also kind of a neg. I'm really not into guys (anymore!) who try to act "cool" and "chill" (aka stay in control) – you better be excited or you can find someone else to "hang out" with. Jesus.
Me every time some male asked me to hAnG oUt instead of planning a date and we're both over the age of 23 with full time jobs:
It just screams manipulative/insecure/broke/cowardly.
PASS.
Stoke that feeling. Never let it burn out.
Oh god my ex would call seeing each other “hanging out” and it always gave me the ick for some reason. He would be like Oh do you want to hang out on Friday? Like ew wtf