"Give him another chance" is an advice that led me to a horrible situation. It was the worst advice that was ever given to me and also, the worst advices always came from the same person, my female older cousin. I took my distances after that.
I used to lurk reddit in those threads where it would ask like "Guys: What do you want a lady to do/behave like/what hoops does she have to jump through to win your heart?" etc, all that kind of trash. The worst by far was accepting the belief that all men wanted to be pursued and asked out first, because that was always the most popular response. And they truly believed that themselves?!?! So, so stupid.
45
Unknown member
Oct 21, 2022
Replying to
🤣🤣🤣!
Unknown member
Oct 21, 2022
Replying to
Those poor girls don't realize those men are setting them up.
I have come to understand that men exposed to red pill refer to that as a compliance test. and then there are also the men not exposed to red pill who just hate women in general and like to treat them badly.
I've heard some pretty shitty advice disguised with 'good intention' but the ones I find the most ridiculous are:
1) Make the first move, get on OLD, put yourself out there, etc. This usually came from pick me friends who thought there was nothing wrong if a woman approaches a man first. Fortunately I never listened to them and saw how this advice lead my friends into miserable relationships with men who were obviously using them. It was pathetic and embarrassing to watch.
2) Don't ever get married. This is an advice that old women give to the young ones everyday. These women often had horrible experiences with marriage and I can't blame them, but this advice is really harmful because they still think cohabitation is the way to go. So they're basically setting women up for something worse, with no legal rights. They think young women should live with a man, have his children, buy property with him but not get married because they foolishly think it'll be easier to leave if something happens. I understand this comes from a place of trauma or simply because they want to pretend they're 'modern' and 'modern women' don't get married but seriously wtf
Bonus: have sex with him soon. This always comes from men because men are pigs and can't even fathom the idea of another man waiting and not pressuring you to get sex as soon as possible 😴😪 all advice given by a man only benefits men.
FDS is probably the only site that gives real good advice for women
To be fair the "don't get married" advice was probably influenced by their experiences living in a time before the no-fault divorce, when judges would rarely grant divorce under any circumstances.
I'm sure that was the case, yes. It's sad that they're now advising young women to get themselves trapped by doing something even worse than marrige tho
My gen z niece one time told me a rumor that some boy cheated on some girl. I said "show me their pictures" lol. Sure enough he's ugly and she's gorgeous. I said he cheated on her for sure, because he's ugly. Look at him. She kinda believed the whole uggos treat you better thing.
Sure enough yes he did cheat on her. I told her the uglies want revenge, and get big headed. I am now like her future teller lmao
I had one male “friend” one time say to me that there’s no problem approaching guys and making your interest clear. And I had some pickmes women tell me this as well and in the few times I did it never worked out and I regretted it immediately because I knew it wasn’t something I should be doing
The worst advices I got were from my parents and their friends:1. I should know how to cook and clean and especially cook because the way to a man's heart is through his stomach (let me try with poison then 😈, jk)2. Since I am a woman that I have to be submissive to a man (this is against my nature) 3. That women are aging faster than men so I should be with men 10+ years older than me so we fit perfectly (last time my mother proposed to me a man and she asked me to guess his age, I gave him 45 but turns out he was 32) 4. That I as a woman should put up with almost everything a man makes me go through, that I should be patient and the one trying to 'maintain' the relationship (Beurk, I'm not doing that shit, if he doesn't keep showing interest in me and courting me then that relationship is over) 5. The decisions are his to make and not mine (No, no and NO! Decisions in a relationship should be made together)
1. Let them go and see if they come back. If they do that means they Iove you.2. Show him love and care and make him happy, he will see your worth. 3. It’s normal for men to look at other girls. As long as they are looking but not touching.4. “He chose to be with you out of all the girls! It means something special”5. “Give him another chance, he didn’t know any better”
“cOmmUniCate DiRecTlY!!” 🤡Men will tell you what you want to hear, and also these men think they’re good guys and will tell you the Hollywood version of how they think they’ll act in the future. Talk is cheap!We’ve all tried that cOmmUniCate DiRecTlY approach, it doesn’t work that way - it just teaches them to mirror you & play you better. You can only believe actions and their patterns of actions. And then control your downside risk accordingly!
- when people assumed men behaving like turds is due to them being "stressed" and so they need me to pamper them extra hard in the hopes they will finally treat me the way I deserve. I internalized this for a long time.
- the advice that you just need to CoMmunIcAtE better, find just the right words to say, etc., and he will finally listen despite having ignored your needs and boundaries ten times already.
- that men somehow don't "know" or are allowed to not care about taking care of the household
- that men are "visual" and therefore you need to put on a show for him, buy all the lingerie, do a strip tease etc.
'You should straighten your hair! Men like straight hair more than waves or curls'This one really angered me at the time, like tf? Why would I change myself for a man? I'm comfortable with how I look and I like my hair; it's unique and I think it suits me. If he doesn't like who I am naturally, he can go chase some woman he does like the look of.''You should date someone older than you, older men like younger girls'🤮🤮🤮 yeah, no. I'm not going to entertain some pedo scrote I'm not attracted to and have nothing in common with who hit the wall running already and wants a 'young girl'. 🤮🤮🤮 Don't make me sick.
'Give (insert random guy I'm not attracted to) a chance'
How about no? If I'm not attracted, he needs to move on. I'm not compromising my standards for an uggle. I know no man would date a woman he wasn't attracted to so why would I do that?'YoUr sTaNdArDs ArE tOo hIgH'No, most men's standards are just too low to meet mine. That's a them problem, not a me problem and I'm not about to make it one.
I feel like I'm still growing up lol so I'll just include bits I receive along the way...Some have already been mentioned si I'll just add"You're too picky""Men show love through physical affection/contact" (ie if you don't give him sex he will feel unloved/won't get that you like t him/feel rejected etc etc)
There's a lot, but the first one that comes to mind is: reward him with sex/blowjobs whenever he washes the dishes or completes some other bare minimum expected task 😵💫
Oh wow, that one is so gross. Talk about objectifying women, yuck. Men really are coddled constantly. Why should they be rewarded with anything for being a fully functioning adult? 🤡
“Relationships are hard work”(glorifying struggle love. The men who have treated me the best actively made my life easier and not harder, we just ended up not being compatible)
“If you don’t have sex early on, you won’t know if you’re compatible“
“the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach(he should be feeding you, not you feeding them!)
”all men need blowjobs to stay interested”(nope. My favorite partners didn’t like bjs.)
”all men watch porn“
”fat guys/virgins/inexperienced guys will be so grateful for your company that they will treat you like a queen”(they are the opposite of this)
when it comes to my kids father-“you chose him”(no i did not. I chose who he pretended to be at first. I could only do so much to prevent that)
and my least favorite, all encompassing one: “boys will be boys”
Thank you for noticing that one because it’s the most annoying one to me. Why the hell would a woman choose a man who makes her life worse. I really hate the victim-blaming feel of it.
If anything, ugly men will be even shittier because their fragile egos can't handle the reality of women not throwing themselves at them like they deserve.
Straight from the south european version of the scam known as patriarchy:
Men will hurt you and do "crazy" things for love because they love you SO much they can't help themselves and you should just go with it because "PaSsiOn" and "the heart cannot be controlled" and "they try to control you because they care".
In this version of reality, if youre rejecting control you get told you reject love and affection.
This was "Patriarchy meets mediterranean anxious attachment 101" for you
not so much in terms of growing up, but this was quite a horrific experience. In response to me getting raped by my ex: well you’re not sleeping with him and men have needs.
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"Give him another chance" is an advice that led me to a horrible situation. It was the worst advice that was ever given to me and also, the worst advices always came from the same person, my female older cousin. I took my distances after that.
I used to lurk reddit in those threads where it would ask like "Guys: What do you want a lady to do/behave like/what hoops does she have to jump through to win your heart?" etc, all that kind of trash. The worst by far was accepting the belief that all men wanted to be pursued and asked out first, because that was always the most popular response. And they truly believed that themselves?!?! So, so stupid.
I've heard some pretty shitty advice disguised with 'good intention' but the ones I find the most ridiculous are:
1) Make the first move, get on OLD, put yourself out there, etc. This usually came from pick me friends who thought there was nothing wrong if a woman approaches a man first. Fortunately I never listened to them and saw how this advice lead my friends into miserable relationships with men who were obviously using them. It was pathetic and embarrassing to watch.
2) Don't ever get married. This is an advice that old women give to the young ones everyday. These women often had horrible experiences with marriage and I can't blame them, but this advice is really harmful because they still think cohabitation is the way to go. So they're basically setting women up for something worse, with no legal rights. They think young women should live with a man, have his children, buy property with him but not get married because they foolishly think it'll be easier to leave if something happens. I understand this comes from a place of trauma or simply because they want to pretend they're 'modern' and 'modern women' don't get married but seriously wtf
Bonus: have sex with him soon. This always comes from men because men are pigs and can't even fathom the idea of another man waiting and not pressuring you to get sex as soon as possible 😴😪 all advice given by a man only benefits men.
FDS is probably the only site that gives real good advice for women
That the uglier nerdy men would treat me better and I should date those over the charming fuckboy/player types.
I had one male “friend” one time say to me that there’s no problem approaching guys and making your interest clear. And I had some pickmes women tell me this as well and in the few times I did it never worked out and I regretted it immediately because I knew it wasn’t something I should be doing
The worst advices I got were from my parents and their friends: 1. I should know how to cook and clean and especially cook because the way to a man's heart is through his stomach (let me try with poison then 😈, jk) 2. Since I am a woman that I have to be submissive to a man (this is against my nature) 3. That women are aging faster than men so I should be with men 10+ years older than me so we fit perfectly (last time my mother proposed to me a man and she asked me to guess his age, I gave him 45 but turns out he was 32) 4. That I as a woman should put up with almost everything a man makes me go through, that I should be patient and the one trying to 'maintain' the relationship (Beurk, I'm not doing that shit, if he doesn't keep showing interest in me and courting me then that relationship is over) 5. The decisions are his to make and not mine (No, no and NO! Decisions in a relationship should be made together)
1/ make the first move
2/ tell them clearly what I am looking for in a partner from the start
These two pieces of advice has brought me so much pain. Do not follow them, they don't work.
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1. Let them go and see if they come back. If they do that means they Iove you. 2. Show him love and care and make him happy, he will see your worth. 3. It’s normal for men to look at other girls. As long as they are looking but not touching. 4. “He chose to be with you out of all the girls! It means something special” 5. “Give him another chance, he didn’t know any better”
“cOmmUniCate DiRecTlY!!” 🤡 Men will tell you what you want to hear, and also these men think they’re good guys and will tell you the Hollywood version of how they think they’ll act in the future. Talk is cheap! We’ve all tried that cOmmUniCate DiRecTlY approach, it doesn’t work that way - it just teaches them to mirror you & play you better. You can only believe actions and their patterns of actions. And then control your downside risk accordingly!
- when people assumed men behaving like turds is due to them being "stressed" and so they need me to pamper them extra hard in the hopes they will finally treat me the way I deserve. I internalized this for a long time.
- the advice that you just need to CoMmunIcAtE better, find just the right words to say, etc., and he will finally listen despite having ignored your needs and boundaries ten times already.
- that men somehow don't "know" or are allowed to not care about taking care of the household
- that men are "visual" and therefore you need to put on a show for him, buy all the lingerie, do a strip tease etc.
'You should straighten your hair! Men like straight hair more than waves or curls' This one really angered me at the time, like tf? Why would I change myself for a man? I'm comfortable with how I look and I like my hair; it's unique and I think it suits me. If he doesn't like who I am naturally, he can go chase some woman he does like the look of. ''You should date someone older than you, older men like younger girls' 🤮🤮🤮 yeah, no. I'm not going to entertain some pedo scrote I'm not attracted to and have nothing in common with who hit the wall running already and wants a 'young girl'. 🤮🤮🤮 Don't make me sick.
'Give (insert random guy I'm not attracted to) a chance'
How about no? If I'm not attracted, he needs to move on. I'm not compromising my standards for an uggle. I know no man would date a woman he wasn't attracted to so why would I do that? 'YoUr sTaNdArDs ArE tOo hIgH' No, most men's standards are just too low to meet mine. That's a them problem, not a me problem and I'm not about to make it one.
I feel like I'm still growing up lol so I'll just include bits I receive along the way... Some have already been mentioned si I'll just add "You're too picky" "Men show love through physical affection/contact" (ie if you don't give him sex he will feel unloved/won't get that you like t him/feel rejected etc etc)
“You can’t find a guy with everything you want” ie lower your standards 🙄 The bar’s low enough
“Maybe he’s having a bad day, cut him some slack”
There's a lot, but the first one that comes to mind is: reward him with sex/blowjobs whenever he washes the dishes or completes some other bare minimum expected task 😵💫
“Relationships are hard work”(glorifying struggle love. The men who have treated me the best actively made my life easier and not harder, we just ended up not being compatible)
“If you don’t have sex early on, you won’t know if you’re compatible“
“the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach(he should be feeding you, not you feeding them!)
”all men need blowjobs to stay interested”(nope. My favorite partners didn’t like bjs.)
”all men watch porn“
”fat guys/virgins/inexperienced guys will be so grateful for your company that they will treat you like a queen”(they are the opposite of this)
when it comes to my kids father-“you chose him”(no i did not. I chose who he pretended to be at first. I could only do so much to prevent that)
and my least favorite, all encompassing one: “boys will be boys”
To ask men out. Complete waste of time and energy.
Ugly men will be nicer 🙃
Straight from the south european version of the scam known as patriarchy:
Men will hurt you and do "crazy" things for love because they love you SO much they can't help themselves and you should just go with it because "PaSsiOn" and "the heart cannot be controlled" and "they try to control you because they care".
In this version of reality, if youre rejecting control you get told you reject love and affection.
This was "Patriarchy meets mediterranean anxious attachment 101" for you
not so much in terms of growing up, but this was quite a horrific experience. In response to me getting raped by my ex: well you’re not sleeping with him and men have needs.