Always feels today like they beat around the bush in asking. Maybe it's just me giving off a vibe I don't know?! Some will ask and I'll except but they never define plans. I'm not asking them!!!! I'll only date you if you ask and I like you.
Yet my 18yr old has dated all great guys!! Honestly! These young guys drive, career, take initiative, pay for everything, respectful, etc. They even plan next dates in advance!!!!!
Is it our generation or am I picking shit guys lol?!
I'm 23 and guys my age are flaky as fuck. It's not only older women who deal with this, we all have to deal with this because guys simply don't have the balls to ask us out or don't want to do the bare minimum. Plus, men of all ages know which women are more naive and easy to trick. Older women have more life experience and aren't as easy to be love bombed, so I'd suggest not to compare yourself to your daughter. Just because a boy plans dates, has a career and seems to be respectful DOES NOT MEAN he's actually hv.
You'd be surprised at how good these 'good boys' are at hiding their psychopathic behavior.
An old dude hit me with a "We should get together sometime"
Left his ass on read
I think, just like how it gets difficult to make friends as you grow older, the same might apply to dating. School and university is a spoon fed social environment where certain settings are already in place. Add to that, lack of experience in comparison to adult world. Also, since young ones are more open to adventure, have more energy, are simply more open minded in general because of less experience. I also feel OLD has fucked shit up🤧
This is all men today.
Your daughter is probably getting love bombed.
Yes it was easier to make friends when younger but adults have experience and open-mindedness too, so I think it's depression and patriarchal system pitting young women against older women and vice versa coz it's in interest for LVM to have easily manipulated young women.
If anything, adults should find it easier to make new friends as alot of the fear of being enough or being liked etc has melted into: I don't give a fuk, my body's a temple
Yes OLD has fukd things up but LVM and ZVM always existed before.
A guy just asked me, if I wanted to go for a walk or coffee/glass of wine tomorrow, when I asked him what he had in mind for us.
I just told him: oh, I must have misunderstood, I thought you were asking me out on a date
🤣
Edited to add: he's 48 and NEEEEXT
It is low effort trash. You will avoid a lot of stress by not responding to these men. Sadly a lot of men aren't raised to act like gentlemen. I get tempted to reply with "yeah, that sounds like a cool hangout idea, can I bring my boyfriend along he's looking for friends too" lol
It's because so many of them are weak, cowardly, manipulative, and resentful of doing anything that would make us happy - they have a very transactional and utilitarian mentality, so if they don't see any immediate reward for themselves they won't bother.
If they do those nice, pro-social things for us -like asking us out on proper dates - and they don't instantly get what they want (1-3 date sex, committed bang-maid, etc.) they feel like a "loser" and a "simp." So they mostly leave "difficult," aka smart and experienced women alone; we're the porcupines to their overly inflated egos. They can't let the lowly feeeemallleessss get one over on them like that....and they're willing to throw away the possibility of a long, fulfilling relationship because they don't want to be "weak" and acquiesce to anything a woman might want.
They're very sad, spiteful creatures. I have the teeniest pinprick of sympathy in my heart for them for choosing to live their lives like that and thinking it's "winning."
I don't mind if guys start out with something vague like ‘Would you like to go out sometime?’, cause that’s not so much an invitation as a gauge of interest. He’s giving me the chance to affirm my attraction and/or comfort level. But if I answer yes, I expect the next sentence to be ‘great, how about this friday, I know a great place and I think you’d appreciate the vibe’ or something.
In my experience, most men have been quick to follow up the initial acceptance with more concrete ideas and details. Sometimes you get left hanging, which sucks, but it happens to everybody. Sometimes guys just lose interest or get distracted by other girls. Their loss.
Btw, Im 30, and try to date guys within 5 years age difference, with the odd exception made for incredible hotties. Not sure how old you are, so not sure if it’s a generation gap thing.
Your 18 year old also got the benefit of being raised by an FDS queen so she came out of the gate expecting that behavior. Statistically the odds are in the favor of the younger girls to find a man because there are more single men and more opportunities to meet people in the wild. I wish that I knew about FDS at 18. As it is, we have to do what we can with the lot we have. Edit: Sorry if that wording was confusing. I did not mean to suggest that older women should settle because there are fewer men but rather that with such high expectations and fewer men, the odds are not great of finding a good man. I believe it is still possible, but I do think there are more single men at younger ages who meet our expectations simply because the good ones get snatched up and married at younger ages.
A scrote asked me on a date this week. I was waiting for date and time. Yesterday he suggests a walk on my neighborhood. By that time I had already decided I wouldn’t go out with him, so I proceeded to say no and then he says “oh you can suggest something to do then, I don’t know your town”. I then sent him the link of the most expensive restaurant in town, just to see the shit show starting. He says “well, this is a bit expensive, I was think about something cheaper, it’s not that I am cheap, I swear” I told him “you were looking for something WAY CHEAPER than that. Like walking as if I was a female dog”. Then the scrote sends me a link of a TEA place where they only have cake and he knows I can’t eat gluten. I said I was not going because it’s just gluten there. And he says “I hope they have something gluten free” 😂😂😂 You know what I did? I proceeded to ask a girlfriend of mine to go to this place, because it is in fact very cute, but obviously NOT for a date. She will be going with me and the scrote will be rema without date. I hope he finds something to do today. Thank you for the suggestion scrote!!!! Scrotes are hilarious!
Laziness, lack of drive, cowardice, not enough interest, or any combo of those.
Men rarely ask me out, and when they do, they shoot themselves in the kneecaps and throw a pity party about it.
Fun story: I once checked my email to find 2 emails from a guy friend. The first was a long rambly cringey email asking me on a date. The second was sent an hour later retracting his offer because, "You'll probably say no anyway." For years, I'd run into the guy at parties and he'd fall over himself around me and say, "I'm gonna take you out" then never followed up. I found it amusing after a while and of course never took him seriously.
I know men are interested because I catch them checking me out, and tons of guys have either lamented to me that we never dated (wtf, you never asked) or heard friends and family mention guys who were interested but again, never asked.
I think guys think there's a million other guys lined up ahead of them, so they don't even try. The ones that do are wishy washy about it and don't offer a plan.
not that dating is ever easy considering the types of guys that are out there, but imagine being 20 and a guy asks you to “hang out” because he’s too weak to ask for a date. he’s like “omg but that WAS a date I bought you Taco Bell” yeah it was a PLAYDATE lol
I just think they’re only very marginally interested when they put doubt into your mind like that. Like they’d take sex and whatever else you might be offering IF you did all of the work, and he didn’t have to spend a dime. If he’s not gung ho asking you out, he’s doesn’t GAF.
i think it depends on the man's character. if he's LV, he's waiting for you to make the first move to boost their ego. if he's maybe medium value (is that a thing here?), he might be checking your interest before taking a real risk to be rejected. after all, rejection hurts, even when we are already expecting it. people who take initiative always get rejected many times (unless they are very good looking) and no one enjoys rejection. not once, not repeatedly. if he is HV, he might get rejected too, but i think a man like that would show more confidence and take the risk. but he would vet you more before asking you out in order to learn more about your taste and stuff you'd enjoy doing. HVM are smart. in the end i think everyone feels somewhat insecure and has fear of rejection when it comes to dating, so i don't hink that aguy not asking you out directly is necessarily a bad thing.