.png)
So the main things you hear nowadays about marriage are really about divorce. About how during divorce, all your assets are supposedly split down the middle, and a custody agreement is drawn up regarding the children.
So what does marriage mean while you're actually in the marriage? Is it just a fail safe in case you break up, or does the "union of assets", that seems to be the main legal purpose of marriage, actually have an effect while you are in it?
I can't work out what being married actually means. All women seem to be told is that it's so romantic and you'll have a big party on your wedding day and then live happily ever after.
It's legally merging families. It gives you medical access, and power of attorney access, and rights to inheritance. No, you can't mimic those rights to another person through different contracts- gay people already did that and they STILL didn't have the same access as marriage- that's why it was a RIGHT they fought to have access to
The pooling of assets is for INHERITANCE purposes should one of you die. That's also why you should be willing to liquidate all joint assets and take the cash payout. Especially as a woman who's job prospects may have changed if you had children- liquidate the family home and use that money to get back on your feet. Don't try to cling to a mortgage you can't afford, or property taxes you can't swing for "stability". Stability in a divorce is a joke- marriage is a stabilizing agreement, divorce cannot be stabilizing
*Also check out my Marriage Matters post I'm trying to go over Marriage as a functional contract separate from hig romance (I have another one coming up soon once I finish collaborating w another FDSer)
I am in a life stage where I am not interested in marriage. I think it's very situation dependent. It would be a bad idea in my case.
As a divorced woman with a good income/career and significant assets (kids with ex-husband, and I will not be having more), marriage would not benefit me. I want my kids to inherit from me - I have lived through two family will contestments and they have both been due to second marriages (stepparent and bio kids of deceased spouse duking it out over the estate).
In the event that I had a partner, I would put him/her on a healthcare DPOA, but again, I am not going to mix finances with anybody.
Just one counter example: in the event that someone who is not independently wealthy wants to have kids with a man, especially if she is SAHM for *any* length of time, marriage is an important safety net.