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Let's say I know someone who is desperate when it comes to dating, will pretend to be fake friends with women. Has only two real friends and lots of fake ones and in general is very insecure. Will put down and gossip about women without a second thought, and one of her only real friends is a douche who thinks about getting laid a lot and was a bully in school. She wants to fit in desperately and yet is upset she has no real friends.
I've never spent times with a lot of men as friends since many are gross.. but I do wonder and am genuinely curious what these douchey - fuckboy types think of a woman like this.
Men don't respect or value a pick me, but will gladly use her and discard her if he was a scrote..
As a former pickme, I used to think, “He hates other women but he doesn’t hate meeeeee.” They hate us just as much.
I feel like they know and they either pity them, annoyed by them or both and take advantages of them at the same time
LVM see pickmes as easy to use for emotional labour and sex. They're disposable and nothing more than a placeholder till he finds his dream girl. My experience was that I was a hyper-independent /boss babe pickme. I'm so embarrassed to admit this stuff but hopefully other women can learn from it. I thought I could impress men with my intellect, STEM degree + job and independence. I thought they'd appreciate my interest in books like Enlightenment Now. I thought they'd appreciate discussions about Nietchez's moral philosophy, world economics and global and current affairs. I thought they'd appreciate that I speak 3 languages and that I come from a 3rd world world country and worked my ass off to get a scholarship and pull myself out of poverty. I thought being well travelled and honing my speaking skills would impress men. I attracted hobosexuals who used me for free therapy and free meals. All the men who emphasized that intelligence was important to them hated it if I beat them at a logic puzzle, knew something they didn't or if I was better than them at something. Pre-FDS- I was going on a few dates with a guy in my field. He told me me really liked me , etc. He ended up breaking things off because he met a nanny he liked more ( I have the utmost respect for all professions. The point I'm trying to get across is men say they want one thing and then do the opposite). I went on a few dates with a finance bro who had an amazing career and I was so excited because I felt we were intellectual equals. He left me to be an exclusive bf to someone who worked part time for a vegan organisation. A different guy met a waitress and also preferred her. All three men said I was perfect on paper but they didn't feel the chemistry. It was eerie to have been told the same thing by three different men. In my pickme days, a met HVM that I did meet were incredibly put off by my insistence on splitting the bill or just paying for everything. HVM find pickmes cringey.
I know both kinds of men, the ones who straight up reject the pickmes and call out on their pickmeism and the other ones who boost such pickme's ego by saying "wow thank you for being a woman who doesn't hate men" and then pump and dump them. But truth be told, both kinds find them repulsive!
Gonna be honest but I think you could have found the general understanding from reading the forum and/or handbook. Pick Mes are just free lunch for them. Easy meat. Insecure women who think they have to chase to get what they want. In the recommended reading "Why Men Love Bitches", it explains exactly why men don't respect pick mes. Men respect women who don't give them everything. You will have a better time setting boundaries, having a no-nonsense attitude to dating than trying to be the nice girl and trying to give him everything. And above all, people want things they can't get easily whether it's saving up for an item or working hard for a dream job. Just human brain things.
Well on the outside they seem to like Pick mes. I know a few women that are huge pick me’s and they’re in relationships now. So it does seem to work. However, the men they’re with have absolutely no respect for them and these women are getting used.
. whenever I’ve had a semi decent boyfriend who likes to do nice things for me, these pick me’s go nuts because their boyfriend wont do that for them. I’ve never dated a hvm either. ive dated some medium guys and some lv ones and they seem put off by pick me’s but i guarantee if one came his way and did her pick me bs he‘d date her because he’d know he wouldn’t need to put in any effort.
“SCORE! Dumbass can make me dinner and clean my dirty underwear and I don’t have to pay her a dime AND get to fuck on regular if my Tinder dries up!”