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I find that the things men think will attract women in their OLD profiles are actually the most cringe worthy. While this is going to be different for everyone, here are my biggest turn offs:
* Listing his height and **since it matters** directly after
it's like dude...you can be 6' and a bumbling idiot and I'm not going to want to procreate with you
PLUS not all of us have height requirements. For me I just want my man to be physically bigger than me, not necesarily taller. Love me a good dad bod.
* ANY mention of sex/cuddling/massages in his profile Don't get me wrong - I love all those activities when i'm in an intimate relationship, but if a guy mentions these things in his profile it makes it seem like he's presuming these things from a stranger ( i.e. me) right off the bat.
*.Pictures of cats I was always a little put off by guys holding cats and couldn't quite put my finger on it. Then I read this study where women assume men with cats are more feminine and therefore less dateable. Plus I'm ridiculously allergic to the little fuckers. I also read a lot of conflicting stuff on Quora about how women love men with cats because it means they have the capacity to care for an animal, so again, everyone's opinions on this are different.
* Kissy face photos It's not attractive on girls but it's 10x more cringe on guys
* Shirtless photos Again, really presumptioius. Presumptious in the sense that you think I'm eventually going to want to see you without a shirt. Also, am i the one not attracted to six pack abs?
* Headless pictures/pictures of anything other than yourself Who are you hiding from? Then the "i'm hiding my identity because of my job" Yeah right. Grow a pair and end your current relationship if you want to fuck around on Tinder!
These are my OLD profile turn offs. What are yours?
1.) Instagram handle. (Juvenile, obsessed with social media validation and I assume out for casual sex ). Even worse if it’s snap chat. 2.) has a list of obscure interests they want in their ideal woman: intellectual snob with an air of superiority and sexist ideas about the average woman being of less intelligence. Will require you to prove yourself to him. Things like “a woman that likes something apart from tacos and margaritas” 3.) men that put too much about their job description when it’s a prestige organization . Eg VP at Twitter or Google or PM at Amazon. Overt wealth signaling is a red flag to me. Will resent you for being a gold digger even if they seek precisely to entice with money. Same goes for any private jet pictures and the like.
4.) Men with pronouns. Oh you're a "he/him"? Who would have thought! Values will simply not align with mine. No backbone and inclined to libfem rhetoric. Will align with delusions for self interest and social cohesion.
"just ask"
No.
Fat men always get swiped left. Any suggestions re being poly. The rough sex demanders. And, because I have a graduate degree, I swipe left on anyone less educated than me.
Here's a weirdly specific one - white guys that are TOO into japanese culture, ie. saying it's their favorite place to visit, speak japanese as a second language despite having no family or friends who are japanese. I'm not talking about judging a guy for liking anime or nerdy stuff - there a line that crosses over into fetishizing asian culture as it pertains to female roles. Like expecting women to be demure and submissive.
ETA: If you would like an extremely good example of this behavior, check out episode 2 of Mind Your Manners on Netflix.
In bios
- “carpe diem”
- height “seems to be very important here”
- “HAPPILY married and I want to keep it that way, just looking for some side fun”
- looking for a “good girl”
In photos
- guys with hats in every single photo (we know you’re bald, just own it)
- sticking out his tongue
- dirty / messy rooms
- expensive cars, watches, etc.
Anyone who is into casual sex gets an automatic left. Anyone who looks like they go on TRP or other manosphere pages. Anyone trying to look like a sugar daddy or playboy. I love cats though, I am a cat person more than a dog person and have fed several neighborhood strays lol. Becoming a cat lady sounds like a good time to me!
At least where I live, it seems like every third guy describes himself as a “goofball” which is possibly the least sexually appealing descriptor I can imagine.
- no photos or very few
- "married, looking for fun and new experiences"
- polyamorous / in an open relationship (blergh!)
- bald who doesn1t accept his baldness. like, bald guys can be attractive when they own it. you really think those 3 hairs will do it for me? c'mon!
- "if you voted for xyz, swipe left"
- photos with objects such as cars or motorcycles
- a list of what they hate/love in a woman. i'm the one chosing, not you. i know very well men swipe right for everyone to "save energy" and work with quantity over quality. why the fuck do you list what you want/don't want then??
- photos in elevators or cars. why? just why?
- sunglasses. i want to see your face, dammit!
- "i'm such a nerd hur dur"
- "let's meet for a beer"
- job: coach
- job: self-employed (doesn't clarify in what specifically)
- "i am a feminist" - yeah, right...
I've been swiping left on all the profiles I see as of late, so I'm guessing them just being there has been a giant red flag for me.
ETA: My list
Pronouns on profile = I hate gender critical women, support porn/prostitution and other misogynistic libfem ideals. This would not work for me.
Anti vaxxers/MAGA/Blue Lives Matter or BLM/ACAB/Abolish the police types.
ENM/Poly = for obvs reasons.
Bisexual or "queer" men. I only date straight men.
Not looking for anything serious or "let's see what happens".
Hunting/fishing pics. I dislike sports hunters with a passion.
Kink/BDSM friendly = ewwww
Entrepreneurs/etc = does not have stable employment
"I don't like games/drama" = I will bring games and drama into your life
Makes fun of women who like brunches and other "basic" things = bitter incel nerd who was turned down by one too many sorority sister while in college (also, I like brunches)
Crap taste in music, especially R. Kelly.
IG profile = oversharer
First pic is a group one. I don't have time to figure out which one is you.
Blank profile/one pic and it's a face pic
Cliche inspirational quotes like "work hard/play hard".
"I can't see likes" = too lazy to initiate conversation
Any Orthodox Jewish male pic, adorned with a beard, payot and topped off with a shtreimel = I am looking for a crumb of fornication with a wild gentile woman while my long suffering wife takes care of our 14 kids (w/#15 on the way) @ home.
Pics where he always has a drink in his hand.
Anything that says "I keep a very active lifestyle". It infers he wants a very slender and muscular woman. While I workout frequently and am reasonably height-weight proportionate, I have very hard to get rid of fat in certain areas. I don't want to waste either of our times, so I swipe left on these.
This is all very good advice. It seems like the Queens on this forum are very smart, so this probably doesn't need to be said- but just in case there are any newbies reading: never reveal any FDS principles on your profile. Don't say anything about your standards (i.e. "I don't believe in the woman paying or 50/50, or porn is unacceptable). We don't want to help them by letting them know which behaviors to hide. Let them tell on themselves.
I find all OLD profiles a turn off. I avoid now. All the men I met post-Covid were low-value. Even the ones with decent profiles know how to reel you in. It’s all in the vetting. I get that it’s good to hold out for this special high value man but for me he’s not gonna be OL. Plus men have different profiles on different dating apps.
One of my biggest peeves are those who say they’re adventurous (alongside a clearly copy and paste photo of a man skydiving) but try to set up pub dates next to their flat. Like really? 🤔And the men posing with their mum, ex and a fish (of course not all in one photo as that would be bonkers) . Photo of a man hugging a dolphin - pisses me off for some reason.
Even more confusing is a photo of him with hot male friends which means I have to play Where’s Wally?.
My toxic exes profiles popping up mid swipe claiming their nice guys. Anyone who says that is the opposite
Pictures with kids, not smiling, group only photos, terrible photos, no bio written, looking for something casual, if he doesn't know what he wants (seriously why the hell make a profile).
If I see hookups listed under looking for, I immediately block.
Empty profiles
Old men who don't know what they're looking for
Going with the flow
Any man 35+ who messages me (I'm almost 28)
Poly/non monogamy listed
Into open relationships
If I get a pornsick vibe from their Q&As
Too many sex-related questions answered
If I get a vibe that they're into asian culture/if they talk about having travelled to south east asia/eastern europe
Every time I read about OLD I become gladder and gladder that I've never spent a single minute on it. I once tried an app to find (female) friends and THAT was already mind-numbing and a waste of time. I have, however, come across some pretty cringey social media bios. Even though I've never been looking for a partner online in any shape or form, when I read those bios, I'm just immediately turned off 🤣 Some of those things include
- using "entrepreneur" or "CEO" as the first word to describe themselves. I mean congrats but that doesn't tell me anything about your personality or character. At all.
- annotating the city they live in with "HQ" or "homebase", or omitting their hometown in favor of something like "the world is my home". Yeah, we get it, you're sooooo worldly that you never stay in the same place for long and such. Yawn.
- inspirational quotes that have anything to do with hustling/grinding, millionaire mindset, or "always following your dreams". Nothing wrong with ambition, but this meme-ified version of it just goes on my nerves.
- "hopeless romantic" – pretty sure the exact opposite is true. Men who call themselves that mean that they hopelessly wait for a woman to fulfill their every need and desire.
- "married to X" or worse "X is my waifu" where X is not a real person or no person at all but a hobby or object
- "humorously" vague descriptions of their hobbies or job like "building stuff".
"Just seeing WHAT'S out there."
Not even "who,"...but "what."
Not even "looking," but "just seeing."
No bio, “just ask”, or anything involving a “partner in crime” 🙄
Photos that show a hard dick. I thank them for that because I know they just want to hookup and I pass so fast their heads would spin lol. There are so many more. I can’t even… lol
🚩Pictures of children, in any shape or form. I don't care if that's the guy when he was a kid, that doesn't belong on a dating site.
🚩Pictures of the guy posing with exotic animals.
🚩Pictures of him posing next to a dead animal. Dude, that's a cadaver! I don't care if you can hunt, a picture of a dead body is disrespectful.
🚩Pictures of white dudes in some developing country taking selfies with the local children. That just shows white savior complex, and it resonates horribly with my WOC self.
🚩Pictures of the guy showing the middle finger. Are you seriously flipping me off?
🚩Pictures of the guys bare butt. No it's not funny at all. I don't even care the shirtless guys if they have something to show... But a butt is a no-go
🚩... speaking of which. I must be one of few that don't mind shirtless pictures when the dude has a six pack/great body. I didn't usually match with them, but I liked to stare. BUT when the guy has a dad bod and is lifting his shirt in front of the mirror as if that was something to show and make every woman horny, well that's my red flag. Are you so delusional?
🚩When all the pictures are selfies and look the same.
🚩 When he is wearing sunglasses I'm every picture.
A big one I found out after seeing an abusive ex on a dating app: someone that lists “their qualities” for example:“I’m independent“ “I’m emotionally mature” He was anything but. I think if you have good character, it will shine through in your actions. Just as an intelligent man doesn’t need to say he is intelligent. It made me wonder when other men put stuff like that in a profile. All adults should be independent and emotionally regulated. If you have to put it in writing…..something may be amiss. It makes me chuckle because it cancels itself out. Does the humble monk, talk about how humble he is? I think not.
another one is listing qualities that they want in a partner, but it’s just bare minimum qualities for being a normal adult person. “I like a strong independent woman”
”I like a woman with confidence”
Well no shit dude.