What are some early red flags to look for in a conversation with a guy?

Me: what are you looking for?

Him: I dont know.

🤣🤦🏻‍♀️

I have had Tinder in the past. Where you can set your settings to what distance you want to match with. I usually use 0-25 km. And then, when guys asks very early in the conversation “Where do you live? What area do you live in?” That is a huge red flag. To me, it means that they want to know quick how far they have to drive to get free sex. If he is interested in getting to know me, he will ask a lot of other questions before that one. And a guy are happy to travel to another city if he is seriously interested in something more than free prostitution. There are probably a lot of other red flag questions, but this was at the top of my head.

Can I get your number/social media app (within the first couple of messages?) Like what's wrong with the messaging within the dating app? Of course I'm willing to connect on a different platform eventually but if it's too soon I just think he's going to send something inappropriate and is afraid of being banned on the platform.

Any self-pity vibes from him at all. If on a first date he talks about his shitty childhood, his long lost dead girlfriend, his therapy takeaways — nah, sis. A first date is where he should be trying to impress you, not secretly assess your empathy.

"No baggage!"

"No drama!"

Guys who say this may as well be traveling thespians from the stagecoach era they will have so much drama and baggage.

Sexual messages (pornsick, typing with one hand), trying to get you off the app too quickly (on to Snapchat or regular messaging), offering a date too quickly (trying to get you to meet ASAP before you can screen him out virtually) OR not setting up a date within an appropriate time frame (I would say 1-2 weeks max, otherwise he's a time waster) low value date offers (coffee, "movie night," drinks, come to my place), he's not carrying his weight in the conversation, he messages at odd times (probably not single), he disappears for a day or two then reappears or offers a date and then flakes or never confirms (hot and cold), he has trouble stringing together more than one or two complete sentences, spelling mistakes, clearly not reading what you wrote (ex. he only replies to part of your question)...not an all extensive list but those are the main ones.

If he uses KIK, this is the #1 cheater app. D It disguises their real phone number. But also Snap. I use Snap for fun, but men use it to cheat. Especially if they claim not to have Instagram or FB but only have kik or snap because IG and FB most people have linked to their real lives, so they say they don't have it. But kik and snap are anonymous. And they can start sending you disgusting videos of their dicks on snap too.

look for any sort of ambiguity in actions vs words.

if he says one thing but acts differently, take notes of that

“Hi” or “Good Morning Beautiful”

I always “next” a guy if he asks me questions that would’ve been answered if he had actually read my bio. If he can’t even take the couple minutes to read my bio, I question his intentions. He probably swiped on me purely because he liked my photo which means he’s motivated by his physical attraction to me and nothing else. It also shows me that he’s more concerned with having his needs met and not about getting to know me as a person.

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