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So I already made a post here about this guy. His mother died when he was just 9 years old. Everytime we talked, he would talk about his mother, childhood or send me something related to it like photos of him as a baby/child with his mother, showed me his mother's ashes, his mother's funeral tape, his mother birth certificate, his mother's drive license, etc. And he would show the same photos and tell the same childhood stories all over again. I tried to console and empathize with him every time I was with him, I was basically his psychologist, but it got old very fast and I got very tired of it.
He wouldn't understand when I was busy and kept asking me why I wasn't responding his messages when I had straight up told him I was busy. He even lied about his grandmother's death in order to get my attention. And everytime I got upset with him, he would bring up that his mother died when he was just 9 and that "he was just a little boy who's been too hurt inside" with these exact words. In my head I thought the way he worded it was cringe, but I still tried to empasize and console him just like he wanted.
This cycle continued until he asked me for nudes, and I got pissed and told him what I really think. Btw, he lives in Australia and told me he likes to talk to me because australian girls are rude to him. So I told him to stop spaming photos of his dead mother because it was annoying, creepy and morbid. I said "no wonder australian girls are rude to you" and that I was tired of seeing the same photos and hearing the same stories all the time and if he never realized that he was being repetitive. I told him to get a grip because he's already an adult and he needs to go to therapy so he learns how to move on. I asked him "for how long you'll be using the 'poor little me, my mother died when I was just 9'" pity card?
His response was that I wouldn't be so "cocky" if my mother died when I was only 9. He called me arrogant, rude, disrepectful and callous(even though I've been indulging in his pity party until he asked me for nudes). And finally he said "I hope you find peace in your life someday. You're a troubled kid." So he keeps sending pictures of his dead mother to everyone and telling the same stories about his dead mother all the freaking time and I AM the "troubled kid"?? Oh yes, I blocked him after that(like I should've done long ago).
Was I too cruel to him?
I think you were too cruel to yourself by listening to all of his bullshit for that long. He's seriously mentally ill, and you're not a shrink nor are you being paid to be one. He's either using this event as a shtick, and he's a psychopath, or he's so devastated inside that he can't think of anything else. But either way, not your cowboy, and not your rodeo.
If anything, you were too kind.
This dude is a loon.
Who the fuck shows strangers their dead mommy's driver's license, ashes and funeral tape!? No one, that's who.
I've known people whose parents died when they were young and they did NOT act like this guy. He knows what he's doing, he's got a whole stage production around this sad boy persona.
He's a manipulator who projected his own issues onto you. Good riddance. Maybe Norman Bates can spend his time combing mother's hair and talking to her taxidermy body instead of pestering women on the internet with his sob story. Crikey.
Women don't owe men emotional labour. It's a profession and you pay money for it. You should ask yourself why you didn't block him when he kept pushing your boundaries. He's an emotional manipulator.
I don’t think you can be too cruel to a man who uses his dead mother to manipulate women. 🤷♀️
Yikes!
🚩 Agressive trauma dumping and using you as a therapist (probably never sought real help)
🚩 Faking his grandma's death (wtf?!) because he's an attention seeking manipulator
🚩 "I'm a wittle hurt boy" = he's an infantile adult man
🚩 Asking for nudes
🚩 Girls from local area are rude to him = because he's insufferable, he has to resort to looking for girls outside of his city/country.
Good for you for blocking him.
😄😄😄 No. If you ever have the misfortune of speaking to him again, tell him I'm laughing about him and his dead mother. I'm sure she's super proud that he's using her death to try to get his wang wettened.
Stuff like this is why I want a daughter. Imagine giving birth to someone and then dying only for them to use you to get nudes LMAO
Send nudes in exchange for my dead mom pics. Isn't that a fair deal now /s They really crack new levels each day.
Eff this douche! I'm so glad you're free of him. I dated a 56-year-old man baby who couldn't stop talking about his childhood trauma from when he was 5. What was so traumatic about it? He couldn't remember! And that's how her knew just how bad it was. He'd go around telling everone, "You know that book 'A Child Called It'? It was like that, but WORSE." I always wondered, how did he know if it was worse? If he couldn't remember any of the trauma, how the eff could he know it was worse than that described? We ended up going to counseling, and the counselor suggested a "safe word" so that if he was regressing to childhood trauma we could stop whatever we were arguing about so as not to retraumatize him. I said, "Heck no! Then he's just going to keep doing what he's doing- making inflammatory statements, but he'll now be able to cry 'safe word'! and I won't get to say a thing back?" These man babies are ridiculous. He never allowed me to talk about MY trauma- it was all about what happened to him when he was 5, which he couldn't remember, but was so very bad. NO, no, no.
You’re a better person than me tbh. I would have been like “yeah she died so she didn’t have to raise your demented ass. She’s laughing at you from heaven”
No. You were not too cruel to him. He was cruel to you. Good job for blocking him!
This boy used his dead mom to get nudes or pity sex and it worked a few times and now he genuinely believes it will work on every woman. He’s disgusting.
Your mistake was entertaining a man outside of your proximity. If you can’t physically meet up with a guy, you can’t actually know him let alone date him.
Let this stupid man go. Losing your mother is very tough especially as a kid but he doesnt want to move on not because he cares about her (in what way are you honoring your mother by showing her stuff to strangers? How about he goes out and helps kids who went through the same in the name of his mom? Doing good for others often really helps in these cases) its because he gets attention for it. See how he asked for nudes after you comforted him. This is beyond insane and he is manipulating you.
Please block him. If I were you I would even insult him before blocking because he is an idiot but save your precious time and block him. To help yourself, try to learn from the way he manipulated you. You are being too kind to mean insane people, so work on being more rutheless when vetting people who come into your life. You did nothing wrong, except for wronging yourself and denying yourself a better connection with someone worth talking to.
Seriously, block him
Start charging him for all the therapy work you’re doing for him. That’s not normal for him to still be constantly talking about it decades later to anyone but an actual therapist
Were you too cruel to him? Don't ask foolish questions.
You were too tolerant, should have stopped engaging earlier on. He’s bad news
Typical narcissist looking for pity points to get away with all his crimes. You did well and if anything you weren't cruel enough to the likes of him lmao. Good job, now onto bigger and better things from here.
Manipulative loser scrote alert. Transparent and repulsive. Why have you spoken to him for so long? Apart from using his mother’s death to manipulate women to gain sexual access there are a jamboree of other red flags. Ew. Block and Delete for life.
I know of plenty of people who had tragic childhoods(and am one myself) and this is next level. I wouldn't even call it trauma dumping, its sheer manipulation. He is smarmy. His smarmyness is giving you the ick and abuser vibes. Only abusers constantly and overly bring up "Muh childhood."
I've met a woman like this, she was such an asshole. A lazy, entitled workplace bully. This woman would be caught taking hour long bathroom breaks, or sleeping in her car, or just meandering around scrolling on her phone, and when called out she would pull the "Muh childhood" card. (It was actually comical at times. Boss: "Becky what the fuck are you doing?" Becky: "I had a bad childhood!") She was 30 at the time. She also made sure when introducing herself to new people, to bring up her childhood so nobody snitches on her for being abusive or a general POS. It was uncanny watching her do it, knowing she's going to be shitty towards this new person sooner rather than later.
Narcissists and Ted Bundys want strangers to think they're pathetic and harmless right off the bat.
Two other examples of "Muh childhood" people. Both male.
Guy #1: His grandma died at a totally normal age. That's it. Gamma died when I was 10, so I'm a drug addicted, abusive hobosexual now. This man claimed that every woman he dated abused him. Turns out he refused to leave their homes, or pay any bills, as well as robbing them for his booze and steroids. He admitted he would corner his girlfriend and grab her fucking wrists and make her hit him. (Instead of just fucking leave like she begged him to)
Guy #2: Dad abused mom infront of him. Dad was in the picture for maybe 2 years. I do pity the mother. Son turned out to be yet another abusive hobosexual, who claimed that every woman he used for free housing/transport/food/money(drugs), totally abused HIM. This one was addicted to pills and meth, and is a literal baby killer. Both men were trust fund babies from rich families.