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I was thinking about why we don't do walk dates, or hikes or coffee or whatever stupid low effort date. There are the usual FDS reasons--low effort is not worth our time.
There is also another reason: low effort dates blur the boundary between dating/courting/romance and normal everyday interaction. I'm on a campus--I walk and chat with people all the time. Do I want scrotes to think that because we walked together and chatted (maybe with coffees in hand 😆) that we're dating? Really? Class gets out, I walk with a scrote for five minutes discussing the lecture and that was a date? Looking back on some interactions I think some men believed this.
A date should be a sincere and clear declaration of potential interest, like a dinner at a nice restaurant. It has to be something different than what a man would do with friends or colleagues to prevent blurring of social boundaries.
I'm old enough to see it happen and I didn't know what it was. I went from guys asking me out to dinner as a norm to never being offered anything that was not offensive to me. I would tell them right out I'm not accepting anything but dinner/something not free. It's dinner! Not buying a house together, he shouldn't need a whole bunch of hoops jumped by you to see if you're worth $30.
They would still take me but they made me regret it by being very awkward about checks and implied "owed" sex until I just stop dating their asses completely. For 11 years.
The thing is I thought that I was too old, or fat, and not worth a dinner in their sick minds anymore because I am no longer a child. I was isolated and that's one of their tools against us. They tried to play the "you are not worth it" card and I took my vagina out of the game. I did what all women should do and I took my ball and went home. As soon as I started talking to young women I found out that not only were they getting ripped off but they were falling for this crap and it is so upsetting!
These sorry excuses for men are using our insecurities against us to try to date 17 Tinder women for under $5. That is all it is. It should make you mad as it made me mad.
What just popped into my head just now is telling men that I enjoy walks into nice restaurants as part of my dating strategy 🤣
I have a (successful, brilliant, beautiful) friend who I have been converting to FDS after a LVM broke up with her. Of course she’s been deluged by male attention now that she’s single. She has told me stories about SEVERAL men who thought they had gone on a date with her, while she thought they had merely enjoyed fresh air in a park for an hour while networking and chatting about her career interests. Thankfully she has shut these men all down and made it clear that they were not in fact dates and that she has no romantic interest whatsoever in them 🙄 Next step is to stop giving her attention to LVM in the first place!
100% true. The atmosphere of a date really does make a difference. Of course, that’s not the main reason we don’t go on coffee/walk dates, but it does factor in. Even before finding FDS I stopped accepting dates to get coffee, go for a walk, or go to a really cheap daytime cafe like Panera. I realized that they never *felt* like dates. I didn’t feel like I was being courted, it felt like a job interview or lunch with a co-worker. Whereas men who took me to dinner or put in effort with the date they chose always seemed to take me much more seriously as an actual relationship prospect. They were just all around higher value men.
An invitation to a coffee and walk date is also a very good indicator that he might be a follower of Redpill or Manosphere gurus because those are the dates they are “instructed” to take women on.
A lot of other women have discussed here--this is a legitimate tactic insecure scrotes use. They will ask a woman out in such a vague way because they are terrified of rejection, to the point where even she doesn't know that this guy (most of the times her 'friend' beforehand) considers it a date. Then he'll get upset that she accepted the invite but doesn't see him in a romantic way.
General male delusion is also an answer, to reply to your part about random men thinking talking 5 mins is a date