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I'm at the point where I believe that everyone needs to be in therapy.
Definitely Men. But all people.
Maybe not at all times. Maybe on and off.
Especially in 2022 - given how crazy the world is, and has been.
So many men don't seem to have the capacity for self awareness/reflection and responsibility?
They expect us to mother/therapise them and sit there while they dump on us?
I am a compassionate person but I view a man like that as a man child.
Especially when its with regards to something going on between the two of us, and he 'explodes', sometimes after swallowing/ignoring his own feelings.
Obviously providing support and kindness and listening for your partner is an important and loving thing to do. But yeah I'm talking about basic self-management, emotional awareness and respectful adult communication skills.
What are your thoughts?
Do you think everyone needs to be in therapy?
Or at the very least have someone they can talk to outside of their relationships who is a neutral/non invested party?
Am reading Bancroft’s Why Does He Do That? In the book, he talks about how abusers go to therapy to learn how to be better abusers, abuse 2.0 comes with psychobabble to help trap women in their games. This is often because he presents to the therapist a distorted picture of their relationship. Same thing with LVM. LVM are gonna be LVM regardless of therapy. They are LV because it brings them benefits. If they lack personal responsibility or compassion for you, therapy just helps them put on a better front that enables them to continue getting those benefits from you. And if they trauma dump it’s because they want free therapy from you on demand. They don’t wanna pay for that shit. Going to real therapy isn’t going to fix any of that! In addition, therapists can give really bad advice, like do BDSM to heal your trauma and other rubbish. And LV men will naturally seek out LV therapists. I think therapy for everyone is incredibly futile and when men say they go therapy it isn’t necessarily a plus for me at all. Esp when they seem to be all self congratulatory about it. RED FLAG.
Mmmm I do think everyone needs to try therapy at some point, but what pisses me off is that finding a good therapist that's not a scrote or a pick me is actually difficult. Most therapists give you advice that don't benefit you in a relationship (like "jUsT cOmmUniCaTe") and sometimes, thanks to advice from those therapists, you end up in very vulnerable situations.
That being said, men definitely as a whole need to go to therapy asap. The amount of men that are emotionally and psychologically healthy is lower everyday. Most turn to vices, unhealthy lifestyles and violence instead of dealing with their shit with the help of a professional. A good chunk of those men are a danger to themselves and others, but of course if mental asylums were still a thing, they would be full of 'crazy' women, not men... Point is: yes, most people should try therapy, but men need therapy urgently. he majority of them won't go anyway.
Most men don't need therapy. They need to go to jail.
Other than that, I agree with you. Therapy is saving me this year and so has doing my own self-help assignments to deal with trauma and inner demons. It is something everybody need to go through at least once in their lives to learn healthy coping mechanisms. Ideally it should start in elementary school so that children can then grow up to become healthy adults.
Everyone would benefit from good evidence based emphatic therapy. Unfortunately there are a lot of harmful therapies and therapists.
I don't think therapy actually helps men with themselves. I think it helps then become better manipulators. Now they've got knowledge on how to sound like he's sane and self reflective. Man's nature is to project outwards. How do you get them to look at their own behaviors? Good luck. When I've been to couple's counseling, it essentially an hour of my husband talking about what's wrong with me, me crying my eyes out, and him not changing one bit.
Therapy should be treated as if you were going for a checkup for your body. The thing is- since many people haven't gone for a "checkup" in a long time- they will need more extensive care, but after the initial care is done- you'll porbs just have to go once/half a year.