Tips for meeting men in the wild

I would appreciate this advice as well, but overarchingly, we're not supposed to be the ones looking. Men are supposed to be finding us. Sadly they just don't anymore, because they prefer porn or can freely order us up like pizzas on apps, and because people in general aren't actually sociable nowadays.

I've had good luck just smiling and talking to people I meet in everyday life. Counterintuitively, It's easier the further away you get from major metropolitan areas, too.

The most men I meet are through my professional connections, but I am in an industry that is very male dominated and there are VERY few that I would consider giving a chance after a short conversation. Honestly these days I don't even consider them a possibility until I catch them 'shooting their shot' and I start to feel the ick and have to shut it down.

I think that finding a HVM is a matter of luck and strict vetting. Refusal to settle for less than you deserve and being happy enough with your own life to be ready to leave at the first sign of bullshit is the most important thing.

I am personally against OLD apps. To me, it's like putting my face in a catalog for these men to swipe on when they're bored/horny/looking for attention. And no woman should have to put up with the kind of abuse I've experienced and seen shared here and elsewhere, I mean putting your face on the app is imho just opening yourself up to it. And the apps DO NOTHING to protect us, nor do they even work towards the goal of finding compatible matches. The algorithms they use are designed to keep us swiping, keep us hoping the false hope, on the apps and paying (or getting the men to pay for the chance to abuse us) and NOT off the app in a happy, long-term relationship.

Until women leave the apps en masse and the men are forced to go elsewhere then nothing will change.

They should come to you. You shouldn't have to try to meet them. So few are worth knowing at all that you are almost certainly far better off right now. You're not doing anything wrong. The men you've met are representative of what's out there. Stay safe and only do what benefits you.

As long as you’re aware that no matter where you meet men, they all come pre-programmed with a patriarchal mindset that WILL rear its head in one way or another. I hear hotel bars are a thing. Idfk lol

Adding art gallery openings, especially the ones with free drinks and snacks. Go every time there's a new opening and you'll see the same faces. Don't do this if you're not into art though.

I haven’t done this myself yet, but I’d really like to take ballroom dancing classes. Men there might be too old, but since I want to learn the dances anyway it can’t hurt. Probably aren’t too many broke manchildren interested in it at least.

Oooo this is tricky.

I've personally met the most attractive men at gyms but also my gym is my sacred place and I'd never want to make it awkward for myself or for the dude but you could try it because honestly half of them think about that shit anyway and sometimes that's the only reason they keep going.

I almost got a guys number but I heard how squeaky his voice was and I was nah fuck that lol and he's never bothered me since, worth a shot.

For the grocery store part you could totally do that but make sure you've seen him multiple times first so you can not only see if he has kids but you can also make sure he's seen you a few times before randomly asking for a number. The easiest thing to go for is the employees since they're practically always there but I'd do that at a store you plan on not going to often in case things don't work out.

Anything competitive might not be a good place to meet HVM because a lot of pathetic dudes see that one thing to base their worth off of and outside of it they'll be completely useless or just unpleasant (think gamers except the outdoor kind.)

Any competitive sport or hobby is like insecure man-land sometimes, if he actually plays a sport it's different but if he joins a small club just to try being better than others it's just weird.

I'm personally not against the concept of OLD, I think it can be dope sometimes but it's like getting trauma and disappointment delivered via doordash and I totally get why it's viewed as being crap, if you need a quickie on it by all means but there aren't much HVM on them (not anymore atleast.) And I think the women on here get serious about it because it just creates more sad "he dumped me" posts in the future and more unnecessary trauma. But totally up to you.

You can also try professional sounding meetup groups and libraries that you hardly go to . They also have women's networking conventions there and there's always fuckin men there but it gives you a great excuse to dress fancy, get drunk and start talking to people, thus leading to more cool af connections and HVM, sometimes the rich ladies bring their brothers along for no fuckin reason.

I wish it were as simple as meeting at one of my local grocery stores! All I see are senior citizens.

I’m in a suburb, so I wish I knew. There’s no one here .

The FDS podcast episode on Flirting Strategies is very good. I always say this.