He's setting her up to have low standards and never expect anything from him. And it's triangulation. Next time she does something he doesn't like, he's gonna use this to brow beat her. "Oh, I thought you were low maintenance, but it seems like you're becoming more like my ex"
Nothing good will come from this.
30
Unknown member
Jun 07
Replying to
I agree. There is no good reason for a man to be telling his current girlfriend that he used to pay for dates and spoil his ex-girlfriend, unless it's to make her feel inadequate. He wants her to feel like "What's wrong with me that he doesn't treat me that way?". I hope she wakes up and dumps him soon.
Edited to add: we only have the boyfriend's word that he used to treat the ex-girlfriend well. It's entirely possible that he only paid for one or two dates or bought her or two gifts and he's exaggurating to make it seem like he always paid.
My ex did this shit. Used to tell me about all the expensive gifts he got his ex and I never got anything. Of course it made me feel exactly as you described. It was awful.
And you're right. We only have his word to go on, and that's worth less than toilet paper
Unknown member
Jun 07
Replying to
Exactly! And let's be honest about it, generous people tend to be generous with everyone. Being generous with one person and miserly with someone else is not true generosity. That's why I think he's probably lying about all the stuff he bought for the ex-girlfriend. Plus the ex-girlfriend is an influencer and influencers tend to get lots of free merch so she might not even have needed him to bankroll her lifestyle.
The fact that she reacted negatively toward her boyfriend rather than toward his ex shows that she is waking up to the fact that the boyfriend doesn’t actually love her and is just using her for his own convenience until he can afford another “high-maintenance” girlfriend.
Now materialistic things have never interested me and I'm content with my life.
I heard these so many times, my eyes will roll to the back of my head.
This screams I settle for less, and I'm a pick me, so this tells me you don't enjoy having a comfortable chair or better yet, you don't mind flying on Frontier Airlines.
He’s not over his ex and is teaching his gf not to ask/expect anything
14
Unknown member
Jun 07
Ouch. For the OP.
12
Unknown member
Jun 09
It's fine to be yourself. If you don't like social media, you enjoy reading, have a small friend group, live simply - that's great, be you. But do not pay for your half on dates and don't take turns paying either. And don't put up with him comparing you to his ex, either - that's fucked up. He definitely is trying to make her feel like asking for things is bad.
9
Unknown member
Jun 09
Triangulating + Still in love with his ex.
He is basically saying he sees her as a convenient placeholder, we all know for what: sex.
.png)
It's a neg.
He's setting her up to have low standards and never expect anything from him. And it's triangulation. Next time she does something he doesn't like, he's gonna use this to brow beat her. "Oh, I thought you were low maintenance, but it seems like you're becoming more like my ex"
Nothing good will come from this.
The fact that she reacted negatively toward her boyfriend rather than toward his ex shows that she is waking up to the fact that the boyfriend doesn’t actually love her and is just using her for his own convenience until he can afford another “high-maintenance” girlfriend.
This was exhausting to read.
I always pay my way/take turns with my boyfriend.
Now materialistic things have never interested me and I'm content with my life.
I heard these so many times, my eyes will roll to the back of my head.
This screams I settle for less, and I'm a pick me, so this tells me you don't enjoy having a comfortable chair or better yet, you don't mind flying on Frontier Airlines.
He’s not over his ex and is teaching his gf not to ask/expect anything
Ouch. For the OP.
It's fine to be yourself. If you don't like social media, you enjoy reading, have a small friend group, live simply - that's great, be you. But do not pay for your half on dates and don't take turns paying either. And don't put up with him comparing you to his ex, either - that's fucked up. He definitely is trying to make her feel like asking for things is bad.
Triangulating + Still in love with his ex.
He is basically saying he sees her as a convenient placeholder, we all know for what: sex.
He is calling her cheap slut.