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A friend of mine recently earned her Master’s degree and became an Occupational Therapist. While she was going to school her husband supported the family with his job in tech. That all seems well and good- rather high value of him, doesn’t it? Except: as soon as she landed her first job he quit his! His thinking was 1) I supported you, so now it’s your turn to support me, and 2) You make more money than I do, and someone has to stay home with the kids, so it might as well be me.
My cousin is experiencing something even worse- she is a teacher and supported her LVM while he went to school to become a teacher as well. Then she got pregnant, and once she had the baby he decided to drop out- his reason being that she already had a job waiting for her after maternity leave. Now she comes home from work and gets to do all of his dirty dishes and laundry, and put diaper cream on her poor baby's bottom because daddy can't stop gaming long enough to change him. What a win for feminism.
Queens, despite what the narrative tells us, we know- we’ve all seen it- stay at home dads just do not do a fraction of the work stay at home moms do. And while I do believe most children benefit from their mothers staying at home during the early years (and I don’t care that some research says otherwise) if dads are going to do the bare minimum and merely keep their children alive while they play videogames, those kids are much better off at daycare.
This is why I’ve made it my policy that I will not date men who are less educated than I am. Any man I date will have an education that he worked hard for, and a career that he is so proud of he would never dare quit. Yes, I know this means he will not see me as an intellectual equal- but let’s face it, men never see us in that way, regardless. Plus, I just can’t stand how stupid most men are. There’s nothing worse than being talked down to by a grown man with a high school-level education.
Let’s stop even calling these men stay-at-home dads- let’s call them what they are: unemployed and lazy. And if you’re with one, might I recommend you also use this adjective to describe him: ex.
I've noticed that many educated guys/women think that it makes then superior, especially if they grew up poor/were the first to go to uni
Or worse, because I have an engineering degree, which is traditionally considered difficult/masculine, they try to constantly one up me or put me down
The less educated are the ones that know their place 😅
Sahd is a thing in Europe, what with their combined paternity, maternity leave
I had one German guy tell me that since I can earn more, he will live off me and take care of the children
Same guy was born of his father cheating with his mother, who was the secretary.... then justified cheating
I knew a guy (delivered for Amazon with no college degree) who aspired to be a stay at home dad. His words were, "I can't wait to have children. I want at least 5. I wouldn't mind being a SAHD while my wife brought in the money." Tell me you want to be a woman without telling me you want to be a woman. So damn unattractive. This man was trying to court me. As soon as I found out more details about him, I dropped him. He was also a gamer and had 0 hobbies outside of that.
I feel that education, sadly enough, is no predictor of LV or HV. It might be a red flag if a man has no career ambitions when he has no other qualities to make up for it, it might be a red flag if he is indeed educated and ambitious but also an entitled and arrogant ass or workaholic. I've met both types. When I was younger, I equated academic achievement with HV (in both men and women), just to realize that it's sadly not the case and it doesn't even increase the probability of them being HV. However, I totally understand staying clear of bums who want to weaponize women's independence.
I've seen this out in the wild with childfree couples and ngl I suspect financial abuse because it goes like this everytime.
Scrote starts dating a woman. Woman moves in with him. Within a week scrote quits his job.
Instead of 50/50 all the bills and cleaning are on her. Good luck leaving now.
I saw an Instagram post a while back where a woman told a story about how she is the breadwinner to support her husband's artistic passions (not career, passions). I realized at that moment that that was a no-go for me. I do NOT work this hard for my husband to stay at home. I'm cool with my career being primary and him working part time to support my ambitions and the kids, but there is no tit-for-tat, 50/50, or slacking on the job. This is an all in gig.
i agree with your standard, but not necessarily the part on having Masters. plenty of multi billionaires i know (i work in the finance sector) don’t have Masters degree because it doesn’t help you at all (you don’t need a MBA if your bachelors is already in finance)
Like Sylvia Wrath's situation, my brother is the highest HVM I have ever met and is a SAHD. He is a naturally nurturing and sweet man due to being raised by a single mom and taking care of me when I was little. He is also impeccably clean and works to improve himself in many ways. His wife is an esteemed scientist working in nature conservation, so they decided her career was more important than his (fin-tech) even if they'd have more money. I think they are going to raise some fantastic kids together who will be a net gain to humanity. My brother is the reason I haven't given up on all men, simply because he exists, so it's probable that there are more out there like him somewhere... Your cousin's husband sounds like the scrotiest of scrotes though, I hope she leaves him. What a nightmare situation for her. :(
There are men with MA (or even PhD) degrees who still become SAHDs. I know because two of my close male friends with whom I studied stay home with their kids while their wives are off at high-earning jobs. (And they actually do all that's required of a stay at home parent). Also, my partner is a SAHD and is amazing at it. Neither of us want our baby at a daycare nor do we want a nanny. I have my own business and have no interest in giving it up just to cosplay a Stepford wife. So, it made more sense that he'd be the stay at home parent. He's way better at it, too, while I'm better at running a law firm. Having said that, though, it sucks to hear that a lot of men aim to be SAHDs not for legitimate reasons but instead because they are lazy. Actually, that's sad.
Men are so parasitic and wicked. Which is why they sour every hard won womens rights with their entitlement. First example: So basically he’s a leech and a greedy bitch? And to illustrate how greedy and selfish he is, there is no timeline for being out of work. I can understand a case where perhaps a man works two jobs so his wife can go to school etc and he takes maybe a short sabbatical bc he’s burned out. But this is inexcusable and wicked.
So a women alters her body permanently, literally shifts her organs to bear your spawn, and you use her a mule for life? Lord have mercy. Again, no timeline, so him paying for her school was not a mark of kindness, but a shrewd and grossly inequitable investment. If she’d taken a loan of say $200K for an MBA, and progressively earned $200k+ with the fancy ivy league degree during her career it’d be a much better deal for her. Instead she is now to mule and basically be a bangmaid provider for this lazy goat? It's giving Shylock.
The way patriarchy has brainwashed us into slavery boils my blood. Disgusting. As for wicked scrote number two: a complete and utter waste of a man. Child neglect is unforgivable on every level. Will not be surprised if he spends his day playing video games and watching corn, while his poor infant yelps in the other room. DIVORCE!
As I’ve matured I’ve developed a taste for high energy men that exercise and like to be out in the sun. They usually have healthier hobbies and are more motivated. I can’t with these video game and porn addicted losers. I like my men like golden retrievers.
Funny how nothing we conquer as a class actually works in our favor. the right to work is now a burden. the right to marry who we love becomes a burden eventually, the right to have sex before marriage (aka sex positivity / sexual liberation) is just another degrading tactic from patriarchy, and ac pills have terrible side effects that might lead to death. we can't have anything.
we used to depend on men financially. even privileged women from rich families had to get married to some man so they could have a roof over their heads because they weren't allowed to inherit their family's fortune.
we were allowed to work because male workers were dying fighting wars and society needed to keep factories working. and here we are. we need to work at jobs (underpaid), do domestic work (unpaid) and be mothers (unpaid and the most costly for a woman's health).
the more i learn about men and patriarchy, the more of a loner i want to be, honestly. having a man in my life doesn't seem like a good idea. i'll take a HV boyfriend i can meet a few times a week any time of day, but a husband, or anything that resembles one? nah! i don't want to have children, but if i ever change my mind, i'll be a solo mother by choice. child + husband = 2 children plus the misogyny. so no, thanks.