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-I read a profile that said "The problem with online dating is that its full of girls on online dating"- made me think what they think of girls on OLD- easy/slutty, not serious, desperate, somethings wrong with them if they have to resort to OLD.
-... and its full of guys on there- and how I feel about guys being on there- desperate(why?), players, looking for hookups etc
-The implications of meeting on a place where you feel like that about the people on there.
-95% of guys on there dont seem that great
-And if they seem good, its a bit suspicious(theyre probably weird irl, hiding something etc) and they probably feel similarly too
-Everyone knows its not the ideal way/first choice way to meet- and the implications of that- less special, less respect, less serious?
-Less respect for the person because you met them on OLD?
-Its a bit cringe/indignified to be on there(seeing someone you know on there is a bit funny, telling people feels a bit embarrassing)
-Just a bit indignified/desperate 1: to be on OLD and 2: to be actively (and so publicly)seeking a person in general maybe
-The lamborghini thing(dont advertise on TV because target audience isnt sat watching TV)
- A catalog of people- kind of dehumanising and porny. Bit icky to think of guys just swiping on me along with loads of other girls
-Forces you to be shallow because its all on paper and so is impossible to go by anything else(i'm being judged shallowly by a load of guys, and I only see the surface of them)
-Only seeing the surface takes away so much of it all, especially the things that can create attraction(way they carry themselves, speak, manner etc)
-Since I rarely find men attractive, usually its the "je ne sais quoi" that attracts me to them and theres none of that on OLD
-Likely swipe no on people you'd like in real life, and yes to people you wouldnt
-Also no atmosphere, romance, suspense, subtlety, excitement
-Never really know what youre gonna get- from their profile lying, to just imagining/expecting them to be differently
-Even if you would have found each other attractive if met IRL, if you expected something else, you might be disappointed
-Having to go out and sit on an awkward date when you first see them IRL and know its an instant no
-Even if you have met someone you like, youre competing with a whole catelog of other options and potential quick sex
This was just a quick brainstorm of all the reasons to not use OLD... feel free to add!
So, an OLD post. I always have a lot to say on this subject, so forgive me for the essay. 😅
I’ve never really watched Seinfeld, but there’s a character on the show, George, who makes a similar comment that’s totally lacking in self-awareness. It went something like:
George: I found this woman on TWO different dating apps… seems really desperate.
Other character: How do you know she’s on two different dating apps?
George: Because I’m on both of them.
I quit OLD forever this year, and my mental state and happiness has skyrocketed. I’m looking forward to meeting people again (in person) starting next year.
I’m sure there are some good people on OLD, but they are so few and far between that it’s not worth the effort imo. Imagine someone shows you a beautiful diamond and tosses it into a gigantic pit of razor blades. You going to go for it? Especially when there’s several identical diamonds out there in the world that aren’t in that pit of razor blades? I only really had one disastrous experience with an actual OLD date because I’ve learned to vet well, but I got so tired of the sexual harassment and general nastiness I’d get during the texting stage and it was really eroding my health. I was having mini anxiety attacks every time I matched with someone. I know that sounds pathetic, but it’s true. There are too many people on those apps who are ONLY there to take their anger out on someone.
I just don’t think OLD works for most people. And we realize that, but we keep using it because we think that if we just hold out a *little* bit longer it’ll finally pay off. Sunken cost fallacy.