Stuck in a rut

This is your flop era. Own it. We all have them and they're necessary to get to the next peak.

Back home with the parents? Great, shovel money into your bank account.

No IRL friends? Cool, online friends are real friends. Use the web to find digital friends and new friends in a neighbouring town.

Want financial security? Get creative with how you might be able to make $ online as a side hustle. Etsy? Transcription? Bookkeeping? Etc.

Lacking discipline? No biggie, that's just a series of behavioural changes. No inherent skills or talents needed, just practice.

Stuck and unsure what's next? Sounds like a great time to try random stuff and see. Attend a class, join a sport, sign up for a craft circle. Get curious about yourself and be your own guinea pig. See where your adventures take you.

No one to pal around with? Awesome, some opportunities to dine/chill alone and enjoy cultivating a relationship with yourself

Good luck!

Hey, I'm in a similar situation, and at the same age too. I moved out of my beautiful apartment because I broke up with the abusive man I shared it with and couldn't afford it on my own, so I'm living with my parents again (who are supportive but it still feels a little shameful). It's a rural area so I'm often bored out of my mind, coming from the city. Yeah, it sucks. First we need to acknowledge that is sucks without assigning too much blame or thinking about all the things we've fallen behind on. Even when things are not great with our living situation, we can still better ourselves in other ways. I've been eating healthy again and try to incorporate more gentle movement into my day. I journal a lot, I make time for creative endeavors, I try to be present for the people I do know here, however imperfect they might be. Focus on what I have versus what I lack, and ask myself every day: what step can I take now? Not should, can. What feels possible to do and will get me in the direction I want to be going in? Small steps. And I consciously practice positive or at least neutral self talk (I literally write it down as if I was talking to myself), because the last thing I need is my mind bullying itself and making me feel like a loser for experiencing a setback (one that isn't even my fault for the most part). If you can't seem to fix the actions, you need to fix the emotions first.

Sounds like your feeling resigned after several disappointments. If you’ve done your best and things fall apart (perhaps all at once) then it’s human to begin to feel depressed. i don’t know you or your situation well enough but the best I can think of based on what you shared is the to put no pressure on yourself right now to ‘get it together’ just try and focus on very small goals. if you have a loving family then being around people might actually be better than living alone. It’s okay to be at home right now, it sounds like you’re pretty sad. I’d think of very small steps, whether it’s taking a little walk. Or cleaning Your room. Or looking at new jobs, or seeing a friend for a coffee. This might be controversial but there’s some self Worth in allowing yourself not to be ‘crushing it’ and super enthusiastic at all times. allowing yourself to be sad and unproductive for a period of time is okay. You’re worth it. You don’t have to be always on. I think that the fog will lift and once your out of the grieving stage you‘ll want something again that feels right. Don’t push yourself to act now, it sounds like you’re mourning a bit and need some time. When something comes along next that makes you feel hopeful again then go for it. Also people are often a little shy about this but sales can be an amazing career path. Usually the entry level is ‘BDR‘ or ‘SDR’ roles (with software companies, and I’d look for a hybrid job over full remote for mental health reasons) where you book meetings. It’s not crazy pressure, you just call or reach out with some information about the service / product and see if they are interested in more information. Those roles do not always require experience and allow a lot of growth. Software companies down the line pay 200k to top salespeople and the orgs often have benefits. big tip would be sending messages to people and using any network you can to refer you. Even reaching out and asking SDR or BDR Managers about entry level positions or if someone knows companies that offer them. Google resume suggestions for these positions but mostly just need to be willing to learn and talk to people. I just think it’s a great career that anyone can break into without school (its Almost always in job descriptions but nobody cares about it, or basically nobody) . I’m in sales and I take a very customer service informative approach (no pushy, that’s best!!). Anyway whether you want to be a sales person or not (I’d still look for work with a software company $)..this too will pass, its a pit and pits SUCK but it doesn’t mean you won’t have the highs anymore down the road. If you live long enough unfortunately we have to all suffer through some crap time. So go easy on yourself and know the feeling will pass and things will sparkle again one day. Soak in love and support right now and don’t let anyone tell you you aren’t allowed to be sad. Do your best where you can.

I've commented about this before about a post on dealing with rage that cannot be outwardly expressed and it works well for stuckness and a clogged-up life situation too. It's this- Journaling and recording your teensy incremental progress (and non progress too!) as data points everyday. What to journal about:

1. Morning pages work wonderfully for me to helping me feel less stuck and more hopeful.

2. All the other comments have great advice, when you do implement anything, write down the experience in your journal

3. Your feelings and frustrations

4. Anything under the sun

Good luck! It's a temporary phase in life, learn as much as you can from it and you will be all the more wiser on the other side. That's another reason to record your mind through journaling. You might find useful information later when you look back.

I moved out of the city a few months ago to live with relatives in a rural area. It's very dead for a young person, there's no denying that. But you can save so much money and you have people supporting you while you make a plan for your next steps! To be honest I feel very relaxed because of having this option.

I would just pick a first goal for yourself and get started with that. Once it becomes routine, add something else. Keep going and eventually you will have a life you love!

I started going to the gym three times a week. I'm learning to drive so I have to bike over to the nearest town. At first I had to drag myself there but now it's just a part of my routine. It's motivating seeing yourself get stronger and fitter, lifting heavier and running faster! I would definitely recommend.

I really appreciate all the comments. I feel less pain with where I'm at in life, and not as alone. I like the ideas mentioned and will try incorporating them slowly. Thank you ❤️

Look into State and Federal jobs. (Www.USAjobs.gov) They offer security, benefits and training.