.png)
Social media has become a hub for dating advice as people have normalized confiding in internet strangers over everything from first date horror stories to the latest relationship tests. It’s given rise to its own niches of content from self-proclaimed dating experts building followings around the advice they preach.
Some of the most popular of these advice gurus are encouraging women to turn dating into a game of strategy. To win? Attract a man who’s willing to pay all the bills, spoil his partner with gifts and fund a lavish lifestyle.
A man would never ask his dream girl to split a bill, some of these influencers have said in their videos. Women should see themselves as a “prize,” something not easily won over, others said in videos. And self-described financial adviser SheraSeven, who’s built a loyal following teaching women how to pursue wealthy men, has said a man who wants a woman to bring something to the table can “go to IHOP” instead.
Many within this category of dating influencers also sell coaching sessions, courses and e-books, all touting tactics to help their audience successfully attract a man with a “provider” mindset.
Cécile Simmons, a researcher studying what she described as “anti-feminist influencers,” said she doesn’t see the rise in this type of content as that surprising.
She said it may be a reaction to ideas commonly shared in the “manosphere,” a network of online spaces where men often talk about women in terms of “sexual market value” and trade tips on how to become a “high-value man” or “alpha male.”
“In these really misogynistic communities, there’s this idea that all women want is a rich guy. The incels and all these communities hate women for that,” Simmons said. “So then you have some women reclaiming that, saying, yeah, I want a rich guy and I’m entitled to that — a bit like the manosphere guys would say they’re entitled to an attractive woman.”
As I was reading this, a few of these coaches came to mind: Sheraseven, thehighlydesired, yourfrenchbff. While it's good to have standards, women should also have their OWN money. You never know when a man is going to turn on you. These coaches should speak to older women who were married to traditional provider men. It was not always sunshine and rainbows. I've been watching videos on YouTube where former tradwives spoke about their experiences. They talked about how their husbands left them with nothing, about how they wish they finished their education and so on.
"The incels and all these communities hate women for that,"
😂 We could be the best wives in the world that never ask for anything, selflessly dedicating our lives to cater to men and they will still hate us.
Agreed, women should be financially independent. Even if she bagged a unicorn of a man that'd willingly provide for her, there's no guarantee that he could always do. All kinds of unexpected things from accident, illness, catastrophe to early death could happen.
I'm just here to say I love SheraSeven's advice. She is utterly ruthless.
She's the one who taught me that lying, manipulating, and cheating are OK when you're dealing with men—as long as you don't get caught.
Middle-class women in the U.S. are raised to be "fair", "honest", and "forthright" all the time. SheraSeven is the first woman I've known who straight-up said we don't have to be any of these things when interacting with men if it doesn't benefit us.
"These coaches should speak to older women who were married to traditional provider men. It was not always sunshine and rainbows. I've been watching videos on YouTube where former tradwives spoke about their experiences. They talked about how their husbands left them with nothing, about how they wish they finished their education and so on."
THIS. I was married, and once we had kids I was gradually pushed into taking more and more "family" responsibility and supporting his dream career & travel. Still, I finished grad school and began working hourly in my profession. I remember my mom saying, why are you trying to do everything? You're always exhausted. Let him pay.
When I caught him cheating I was SO happy I had my own money - not a lot, but I hired a lawyer, paid off my car, and bought a little house. I couldn't imagine being trapped with someone I couldn't trust just because I had become dependent. You can do the tradwife thing all you want but that is never going to guarantee a return.
Ugh. I love it when news stations compare actual domestic terrorists to women rejecting men. Like ah yes. The equivalent to a man stabbing a woman to death in a deli bc she rejected him is her rejecting him. She might as well have stabbed him to death. His reaction TOTALLY fit the crime. When will these anti-feminist women learn that women don’t get to have preferences, boundaries, and standards! Every feminist knows that when a man tells you to get on your knees, you do it or face death!
People are just now finally noticing FDS principles in dating. Hopefully it will become common knowledge that the apps and OLD are filled with rejects and predators I think that would help so many younger pick mes.