So I just looked into sperm donors…

I just looked up sperm banks in America and boy o boy They will tell you the donors' whole backstory before they tell you his age Funny Especially since males gain more value as they age- you'd think that would be the first thing you see after their name 🥴

Well.... what reason would a young(er), good looking, intelligent, successful man have to donate sperm?

I think the men who do it just want to earn money quick or have some kind of fetish and that attracts a certain clientele.

I went through this process and ultimately decided against becoming a single parent via a sperm donor. For me, the thought of carrying an unknown man’s child, no matter how great the profile is, was emotionally untenable for me. Add to that the financial burden, and it was a hard no for me. Sperm donors reflect the general population but are also men who felt okay donating sperm, which in itself is an mark against them, in my view. You cannot vet by looking at someone's profile. The whole concept made me queasy.

If I found out my bf was ever a sperm donor, I would dump him. I can't imagine any reason he might do that that wouldnt make me think less of him. I guess men who donate sperm are just LVMs. Using a sperm bank might be a great option for you. But I guess, just go into it knowing that the donor is necessarily a weirdo.

WHAT DON'T SAY THIS THIS WAS MY BACK UP PLAN FUUUUCK. I hate that you can't really sort them by their IQ or SAT scores or something.

Yay! 👏👏👏 I’m very pro the donor sperm option for women who want to have babies, and never have an abusive scrote sue you for custody and child support someday! Because men get custody pretty much every time they actually pay a lawyer to file for it. I know too many women who got divorced and lost half their kids’ childhoods, and keep getting sued and legally harassed for years, but I digress.

Wild take: You know that old song “All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You” by Heart? Check out the lyrics sometime for the story of finding an attractive, tall, gorgeous young guy and letting nature take its course (well, the husband in the song was infertile). And if you get pregnant when you want to? Go live your life and enjoy your baby with no father on the birth certificate. That way you at least know 1) you’ll always get your kids every major holiday that matters to you, and 2) you won’t be the victim of a fertility doctor who secretly uses his own disgusting sperm on all of his patients!

I just had a look too and it's scary that very few of the donors tested negative for all genetic diseases. Like, why would I pay money for some scrote's sperm if it's defective anyway? And it seems like they only do physical and genetic health checks, not mental health checks. Especially considering the fact that a man who chooses to donate sperm might be some sort of megalomaniac narcissist, I'd have thought mental health testing and family background of mental health would be ideal.

Also no mention of male pattern baldness, which is a huge thing? If he's donating in his 20s, he could go bald in his 30s or 40s and would pass this on to any sons.

The whole baby photo thing is dumb too. I'm not buying a cute baby, I want a sperm donor who will produce a healthy, well rounded child that will grow into a competent adult. A lot of people were cute babies but grew into ugly af adults. The opposite may also be the case.

That said, I am considering the sperm donor route. I want my own biological children and if I can't find a HVM, I'd rather do it alone. At least this way he's not allowed to make you and your child miserable.

Personally I'd go for: intelligence and lack of personality disorders, no criminality, and then looks. I'd look for maybe a young college guy who did it to make some extra side money while in school. That way the sperm is going to be healthier since the guy is younger, he's already getting an education, and you can look at a few other metrics. The downside is he's not very old - so you haven't seen a lot of him and his history will be limited. But a lot of issues will probably have sprung up by that age, at least in men it seems to be the case. This allows you to filter out mental illness and a criminal background. (Look, I'm an anxious person who's had depression, and if I reproduce I want to give my potential kid a shot at not being anxious or depressed, so a donor who is normal is at least a step.)

I went through this process! My advice is do a ton of research on everything. The sperm bank, the doctors, how to raise the child in a healthy way (there are books you can buy that explains their journey to them from birth so they always know why their family is different) etc. Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss.

Am acquaintance of mine has also given up on love and recently came to the conclusion that because most men are LVM or NVM, she's better of having a baby from a donor. She's got her life in order, a good career, her own house, well traveled, has extra money, etc. She felt conflicted about denying the child a father but concluded that she can raise a healthy, happy child on her own and she has the support of friends and family. She feels the child will be happy if she's happy and can afford to provide her child with a good life. Most fathers are not present anyway for their children and she'll have to do extra work taking care of a grown manchild, exhausted and miserable which will psychologically affect the child too. She's had the experience of he scrote father cheating on her mother. He was shocked when her mother left him for someone else and cried.

I looked into this back when I was 35 and living in DC having absolutely no luck with men. But I'm a disabled veteran, and it would be so unfair to bring a child into this world with no father AND an injured mother who could be further injured very easily. Like what if my neck injury got so bad thar I couldn't work like it's done now--12 years later? Poor kid growing up on welfare. And I have no family who would help me with a child. So I decided against it. I couldn't be a mother and work in construction like I do. I'm EXHAUSTED when I get home from my job. And yes, I make 6 figures, but the money doesn't get rid of the exhaustion. I knew I'd be a terrible mother with no support. But if you've got a good career, a family that will help you, and have the energy to raise a child, go for it. I've never met a good guy who wanted to get married, snd I've pretty much missed my chance to have children. I'm not sad about it anymore, because I know I gave every relationship my all and did my best. It was the men who simply didn't care and didn't want to have a family with me. And maybe that was for the best? Maybe I just wasn't meant to be a mother.

My only hope is going to a sperm bank but I have no career or life.

I heard sperm banks aren't regulated and you could end up with sperm from a different man or the donor can hide facts about his genes (like any disorders he's predisposed to).

I hate the idea of using a sperm bank. It's soul crushing.

I think a lot of women have grown suspicious of these companies for good reason. Many lesbians ending up deciding that fresher/younger is better when it comes to sperm quality. The gay male community can be perfect for this. Are you comfortable with a live person or does the anonymity carry greater appeal? I have a friend in NYC who used a dating app, I'd say that's the riskiest approach.

I seriously considered this. If I were still bearing children now, I'd do it. I would go with a Danish donor & bank because their standards are very high and the donors are healthier and better looking. I think there is a lot of value in the health history they obtain on the donors. So many men know nothing about their genetic history. Americans often to have a poor idea of what their actualy ancestry is, before ancestry dna tests anyway. They think it's one thing when it's another. What you can wind up with in the dating/marriage pool is potentially worse. It would be nice if women could see multiple generations of photographs because physical features skip generations. Even if they aren't looking great, they may have more available after you start talking to them. Banks in Denmark supposedly have 50,000 donors. There has to be some good ones in that pool. I almost forgot to add this last good caveat. Breed the scrotes out of the gene pool by getting the best sperm available for your offspring. Also, it can help protect a woman from getting baby trapped by a stealth LVM.

p.s. I ended up raising both my children mostly alone. The first father was an abusive, alcoholic asshole. The second was a lazy, cheating, unreliable bum who takes credit for good things he doesn't help make happen and runs away from the real work. He's improved slightly with time and training but is still a low-value parenting partner who I realized was too irresponsible to adequately care for our child if I died prematurely. So I made his sister alternate guardian j.i.c. My parents died unexpectedly young when my oldest was nearly an adult and they helped with her but weren't around for my younger one. At least I had his family to turn to in the event I died before she was grown but that was just luck maybe. The struggle of dealing with an abusive man who stalked me but contributed nothing to parenting except sperm is the reason why I considered pursuing a donor in the first place. Then I got weirded about my anonymity and the not-too-appealing choices and talked myself out of it. Now I have a nearly grown younger child with the unreliable one and think I might have been better off if I had gone with a donor. But then that should have happened before the 1st one. I have no idea what would have happened. But if women face what I faced or worse, I think this should be very high in their consideration.

Another important consideration. Men who want to get married to women and have children with them are still not necessarily high-value men. Men with breastfeeding fetishes like the one in the photo use their wives to birth a child they have unlimited access to & legally protected rights. A sperm donor has no such rights. No mother ever has to go through the hell one undergoes to find out she married a monster like this. I have done it once & assure you it's very difficult to vet for something you don't comprehend. You may comprehend this but I sure had no idea.

This forum is full of women who struggle with their lv 0v ex over child custody & support issues for life because her prince turned out to be a flesh-eating amoeba. The legal clarity of a sperm donor is such that sure you don't have that built-in support system. But you also avoid the roulette of getting that built-in abuse and imprisonment system. I'm a risk-averse person and I would have liked to have seen the value of less risky options. I see single motherhood with sperm donation as a reasonable risk mitigation strategy.

Apologies for my comment. I understand wanting a baby, I do as well, but why would you willingly conceive some random dudes baby and raise it for free.

Two (healthy and functioning) parent household is best for a child. While divorce happens and it's better to have a single mom than a douche of a father, these circumstances are (mostly) out of our control. However, using a sperm donor, is something we choose. We are making a choice for the child to be in single parent household. The child is denied a possibility of having two parents. If I found out I was denied a father, just because my mom wanted a baby and couldn't find a decent man, I could never forgive her, no matter how good of a mom she is. If she was a single mom, because the father bailed, it wouldn't be her fault.

Adoption is entirely different, as the children are already orphaned/abandoned and one parent is already better than none.