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I’m letting go of this friend and I’ve decided already but I just need to vent and maybe advice on letting her go If you have experiences on that.
we’ve been friends for about 3 years, and I just attended a festival with her and realized how much of a pick me she actually is. She spent the whole time twerking and talking over everyone else trying to get mens attention, and getting passive aggressively upset when no one paid her attention. The thing that bothered me the most though was her comments about other women there. She made snide comments all day about other women not looking good, how flat their bums were, how saggy their boobs were etc. She just thinks she is the hottest person in any room And feels the need to drag everyone else down. It’s insecurity but also extreme narcissism. She even likes to try to drag me down and compete with me about accomplishments, body type, weight, life experience, general knowledge. I can’t stand the constant under-the-breath derisive comments.
The worst part is that hanging out with her has just become her talking about herself, gossiping, having aggressively strong opinions about things that dont concern her and just being very narcissistic. She even tries to collude with my (HV) bf against me to try to be funny but it comes off as being very jealous and insecure. When she hangs out with us, she will do anything to talk over me and try to get his attention which neither of us appreciate.
But she’s also become very possessive and decided that we are best friends - I don’t know how because we never talk about anything except her and even then it’s me just listening. But she’s become jealous of any other friendships I have and I just can’t handle that toxicity anymore. It’s so draining and she’s so self centred and delusional that I don’t think it’s worth saving.
anyone else been through this kind of thing?
People lose me at passive aggression. Its kinda manipulative like guilt trips. I hate guilt trips. Its like who tf do you think you are to me? I don't owe you shit.
The older I get the more I realise life is too short to waste on fuckwits, be it female friends, family, or LVM. The time we have on this planet should not be taken for granted and should be treasured, spend it on the people who fill you with joy. Drop this pickmeisha.
Oh darling, I have had a few “best friends” who are like this. Trust me when I say that they do you nothing but harm. I have had to cut all ties because I just got over pandering to their ego constantly and what they do is emotional abuse, that is why you feel so drained and used after you i yet act with them. They have to bring you down so that they can feel better about themselves. just cut her off. You do not owe her shit. I sent my friend a message along the lines of “this relationship dynamic does not work for me anymore. I wish you the best and will always value the fun memories we have had together“. then block delete and revel in your peace!!
Haven’t been thru that exact situation but yes. Leave her. She sounds insufferable and is wasting time you could spend being actually content and happy
Friend break-ups are tough but it really feels like this is not a relationship worth your time or energy, and I am someone who does believe in reconciliation (for women anyway).
If she were a better friend I might say it may be worth trying to sit down and establish boundaries on her behavior, the way she speaks about other woman, and how she doesn't leave space for you in the relationship.
Everything she is saying about other women comes from her own shame.
It's sad, but she is DEEP in pickmeism and it sounds to me like she has not put in the work to be worthy of your emotional labor to bring her out of it.
I had a really nasty friend break-up a few years ago with an overbearing libfem who was VERY combative and challenged every counter thought I had, in a way that was really toxic. My nature is to isolate when faced with difficulties, while she wants to take things head on. In my case she ended up ghosting me first, while I was gathering the courage to have a discussion. I was prepared to just limit my time with her until the friendship fizzled but she was so intense she would ask me directly about it until she decided that she was done.
It sounds like your "friend" is going to be harder to drop but it will be worth it for your long-term wellbeing
I've had to let go of friends during my leveling up journey. I'm not gonna lie, even though it's for your greater benefit, it still sucks. It sucks to realize that you spent all this time and energy into a relationship with a person who ultimately doesn't care about you.
I've been sucked into these "you're my best friend" and "OMG I love you SOOO much" "friendships." For me, I don't say these things unless I actually mean it. But for LVF, talk is cheap and they'll shower people with praise because they're terrified of being alone. But they don't actually DO the things friends are supposed to do.
It sucks to go through, but from what you've described, it doesn't sound like she's being a true friend in return. You're ultimately making the right decision in the long run and making mental/ emotional/ temporal space for true HV friends to come into your life.
Nope! This doesn’t sound like a friend to me. Start fading her out queen x