If she’s the only one of his exes he’ll reference by name (“this one time with an ex…” vs “this one time with Emma…”). Or when he brings up how they don’t keep in touch and haven’t talked in years but then he shares info that he’s essentially kept tabs on her romantic/personal life (“we broke up because she prefers women, but she’s now with a new guy and pregnant”). The shit they’ll say will ooze “I’m not jealous, who said I was jealous? I’m just gossiping! Definitely not jealous…” vibes
If you run into her at an event and he can’t help but go talk to her. I ran into my obsessive ex at a party last year, and even though his new girlfriend was there with him, he couldn’t help himself. I went to get something from my car and he ran after me to make sure I wasn’t leaving and so we could talk about “everything.” I felt so bad for his new girlfriend and embarrassed on her behalf.
I had an ex do this. We were both with other people but he kept making excuses to approach me. My fiancé was polite but his girlfriend was mortified. It was like he was the only person who wasn’t aware of how things looked.
I don't think the type of man on dating sites today are or were ever in love. They just think of their dick all the time. So they do not pine for anyone. Maybe their parents to sub them money or do cooking/washing etc.
I've never seen a man stay with a woman for life, so if you're wondering if a guy your dating is thinking of other women, the answer is yes. Don't worry about him, worry about yourself. I don't see the point to dating with the amount of rubbish to choose from out there.
28
Unknown member
Jan 19, 2023
Oh lawd. The last entrapment I was in, was rife with this.
I believe it was an extreme case because he was text book personality disorder person.
1)told stories about multiple Ex’s, but still held negative emotions.
2)Was super moody for no reason(probably reminded of their ex.
3) Held into pictures /gifts
4) followed them on social media
5)got mad when they were doing well in life/happy when they suffered
6)Had a look of contempt if exwas ever brought up
7) was “friends” with a few ex’s/old hookups
8) Either glorified ex, or talked about them as if they were the devil
9)changed the subject about certain things if ex was involved
10) this is the worst most embarrassing one (cause I didn’t cut and run) his ex that lived across the street 🤡 had a key to his house. They didn’t share children or assets. They apparently only “hooked up for a few months”.
The take away is , if the ex is physically present for no reason that’s a red flag.
Some men (especially abusive narcissistic ones) act as if they are currently going through the heartbreak, even if it was years ago. They hold contempt. They are invested emotionally in the ex to any capacity.
100% this stuff. Like even if the focus of conversation isn’t on the ex they’re still obsessed with, that ex’s presence (or lack there of) really shapes how they then treat and talk about other women they’ve been with. Could be they never commit to anyone else so all their subsequent exes are just “hookups”. Could be that as soon as they put their penis in a woman she’s either treated like Madonna (can do no wrong) or a whore (the cause of all problems). Had a scrote tell me that while talking to me an old friend he used to hook up with sent him stuff on Snapchat as a “one last time” sort of thing (she had just got engaged to a dude she had barely dated a few months 🤡) but that he wasn’t feeling it and turned her down. When I immediately called him out on how poor a judge of character he must be to tacitly support her attempts to cheat (he didn’t say anything to the fiancé) and keep people with those morals in his company, he doubled down that she’s been a great friend to him 🤮
I forgot about this, but my ex, during his campaign to get me back, mentioned he kept every card I had given him for an occasion, every picture I drew for him. The things he told me during this time wouldn't have been apparent to future partners, but all of those drawings were somewhere.
To me, social media use is one of the most obvious red flags. Once a guy is in a new relationship, there’s really no reason to be following or interacting with an ex on social media. That’s disrespectful. I’ve had guys do that to me and then freak out about me having male friends who I’ve never been romantically involved with. How is it okay for them to keep an open line with someone they had sex with? Unless you were married and share custody of children, any interaction with an ex has a sexual and/or romantic connotation.
I’d also say to pay attention to how they act about past relationships. If it’s been three years and he’s still playing the heartbroken puppy, that’s ridiculous and he needs to grow up and move on. I dated a guy who became incredibly cold and weird anytime his ex came up. One time he literally said to me that I didn’t know heartbreak like he did — uh, you don’t know heartbreak, freak. You know obsession, because that’s what this is if you’re still reeling over a girl you were never serious with and dated for less than a year.
Photos of exes should also not be visible either in their home, on their phone/computer or on their social media sites. I can’t tell you how many times my ex would say social media didn’t matter meanwhile it mattered enough for him to have 30 pictures of his ex on Instagram that he wouldn’t remove, lol.
Constantly brings up the ex, even if it’s just to vent. (She’s living rent free in his head)
Says he HATES her. (Boy have I got news for you..)
He still calls, meets up with or follows her on SM. (Unless they share custody of their kids or work together this is a huge red flag)
Seems distracted when spending time with you.
Often cancels or flakes last minute. (She sent a wyd text and he’s now in-route to her crib)
Doesn’t pay for dates or take you out consistently; double points if he’s “busy” Fri-Sun.
Constantly finding her hair or her things at his place. (They’re still hooking up..)
Nitpicks at little things, negs you or picks fights even when you’re having a good time together. (Secretly hates you for not being her. Also looking for a reason to call his ex to bitch about you and then go over “just to talk”)
After a few months of dating, doesn’t introduce you to close friends or family. (Can’t have ppl
blowin up his spot in the event him and the ex get back together)
If he’s active on SM he never posts you, likes/comments on your photos or eludes to being in a relationship. (See above)
Won’t make any real, concrete or longterm plans. (Doesn’t see this as a forever thing bc ex)
If he’s normally pretty responsive and easy to reach but then suddenly goes ghost for a few days.. (His phone is on DND over at her place)
The number one indicator for me was just that I didn’t feel valued or prioritized. In my pre-FDS days the few times I dealt with a man who I later found out wasn’t over his ex, looking back the relationship always felt a bit off or unsettled. Can’t really explain it but IYKYK.
Always trust your intuition. If something doesn’t feel right or if things stop adding up, go with that feeling and pull back and reassess or leave and find someone who is fully open and ready to commit to you.
Great examples! I wanted to add that him posting you on SM & introducing to family/friends isn't a guarantee either. If he's » in a rush « 🚩 to do any of this then he has ulterior motives (to make the ex jealous) & trying to prove to others that he's moved on (far from it).
Good point! I forgot those types of psychos also exist. I was specifically channeling this tweet when I touched on men who wake up and get on the internet and lie
I only saw this in retrospect, all the times he was mentioning her, without mentioning her.
Examples I’d later discover were mentions: His kid applied to the same esoteric little private school she attended, and began studying the same foreign language she speaks.
Son went trick or treating with “a lady who is a mom at his school.”
He took his kids on a trip to a random state where she happens to be from.
He started talking about a new neighbor lady of his a ton, and lied about when she actually moved there.
He kept highlighting a career choice of mine, because little did I know it matched hers.
Anytime a waitress looks at you like she has seen a ghost it usually means he very recently and frequently dined there with her.
There are signs - but unless we are 🔮 they won't make sense until you have a name, and a glance at her SM. Then it alllll makes sense. Mentionitis! 🚩🚩🚩
every time i have ever felt a burning desire to go through the phone of a guy I was in a relationship with, I found some horrible and hurtful evidence of cheating. I think your instinct tells you really all you need to know. I did have one ex who I never felt the need to go through his stuff. because he didn’t turn his phone away from me while texting or seem to be hiding anything and seemed to genuinely adore me and think I was the most beautiful woman. It ended for different reasons. But I really do think you can tell when a guy is actually into you and not busy obsessing over and comparing you to an ex. I think they really do make it obvious when they are focusing on you and value you as their partner.
My ex( on our 1st meet/date):He says, "She speaks 3 languages, was a flight attendant..." All said w a longing look in his eye of sorts🤦🏿Fast forward to staying at his place, he has a stash of her things. Beauty products, all kinds of stuff.
I have just posted here 3 days ago about this coworker who I was not sure if he was interested.Anyways, we went out yesterday and I have just decided to cut him off because this SCROTE let it slip yesterday that his ex had moved to this “x” town and the day before he posted on his IG he was in this “x” town😂😂😂😂They still follow each other on IG and her pics are still there!OfCourse they are not “exes” and I’m almost 99% sure they are still together.Men are so audacious that they don’t even hide their bullshit.
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If she’s the only one of his exes he’ll reference by name (“this one time with an ex…” vs “this one time with Emma…”). Or when he brings up how they don’t keep in touch and haven’t talked in years but then he shares info that he’s essentially kept tabs on her romantic/personal life (“we broke up because she prefers women, but she’s now with a new guy and pregnant”). The shit they’ll say will ooze “I’m not jealous, who said I was jealous? I’m just gossiping! Definitely not jealous…” vibes
If you run into her at an event and he can’t help but go talk to her. I ran into my obsessive ex at a party last year, and even though his new girlfriend was there with him, he couldn’t help himself. I went to get something from my car and he ran after me to make sure I wasn’t leaving and so we could talk about “everything.” I felt so bad for his new girlfriend and embarrassed on her behalf.
I don't think the type of man on dating sites today are or were ever in love. They just think of their dick all the time. So they do not pine for anyone. Maybe their parents to sub them money or do cooking/washing etc.
I've never seen a man stay with a woman for life, so if you're wondering if a guy your dating is thinking of other women, the answer is yes. Don't worry about him, worry about yourself. I don't see the point to dating with the amount of rubbish to choose from out there.
Oh lawd. The last entrapment I was in, was rife with this.
I believe it was an extreme case because he was text book personality disorder person.
1)told stories about multiple Ex’s, but still held negative emotions.
2)Was super moody for no reason(probably reminded of their ex.
3) Held into pictures /gifts
4) followed them on social media
5)got mad when they were doing well in life/happy when they suffered
6)Had a look of contempt if exwas ever brought up
7) was “friends” with a few ex’s/old hookups
8) Either glorified ex, or talked about them as if they were the devil
9)changed the subject about certain things if ex was involved
10) this is the worst most embarrassing one (cause I didn’t cut and run) his ex that lived across the street 🤡 had a key to his house. They didn’t share children or assets. They apparently only “hooked up for a few months”.
The take away is , if the ex is physically present for no reason that’s a red flag.
Some men (especially abusive narcissistic ones) act as if they are currently going through the heartbreak, even if it was years ago. They hold contempt. They are invested emotionally in the ex to any capacity.
what you want is distance and indifference.
To me, social media use is one of the most obvious red flags. Once a guy is in a new relationship, there’s really no reason to be following or interacting with an ex on social media. That’s disrespectful. I’ve had guys do that to me and then freak out about me having male friends who I’ve never been romantically involved with. How is it okay for them to keep an open line with someone they had sex with? Unless you were married and share custody of children, any interaction with an ex has a sexual and/or romantic connotation.
I’d also say to pay attention to how they act about past relationships. If it’s been three years and he’s still playing the heartbroken puppy, that’s ridiculous and he needs to grow up and move on. I dated a guy who became incredibly cold and weird anytime his ex came up. One time he literally said to me that I didn’t know heartbreak like he did — uh, you don’t know heartbreak, freak. You know obsession, because that’s what this is if you’re still reeling over a girl you were never serious with and dated for less than a year.
Photos of exes should also not be visible either in their home, on their phone/computer or on their social media sites. I can’t tell you how many times my ex would say social media didn’t matter meanwhile it mattered enough for him to have 30 pictures of his ex on Instagram that he wouldn’t remove, lol.
Constantly brings up the ex, even if it’s just to vent. (She’s living rent free in his head)
Says he HATES her. (Boy have I got news for you..)
He still calls, meets up with or follows her on SM. (Unless they share custody of their kids or work together this is a huge red flag)
Seems distracted when spending time with you.
Often cancels or flakes last minute. (She sent a wyd text and he’s now in-route to her crib)
Doesn’t pay for dates or take you out consistently; double points if he’s “busy” Fri-Sun.
Constantly finding her hair or her things at his place. (They’re still hooking up..)
Nitpicks at little things, negs you or picks fights even when you’re having a good time together. (Secretly hates you for not being her. Also looking for a reason to call his ex to bitch about you and then go over “just to talk”)
After a few months of dating, doesn’t introduce you to close friends or family. (Can’t have ppl
blowin up his spot in the event him and the ex get back together)
If he’s active on SM he never posts you, likes/comments on your photos or eludes to being in a relationship. (See above)
Won’t make any real, concrete or longterm plans. (Doesn’t see this as a forever thing bc ex)
If he’s normally pretty responsive and easy to reach but then suddenly goes ghost for a few days.. (His phone is on DND over at her place)
The number one indicator for me was just that I didn’t feel valued or prioritized. In my pre-FDS days the few times I dealt with a man who I later found out wasn’t over his ex, looking back the relationship always felt a bit off or unsettled. Can’t really explain it but IYKYK.
Always trust your intuition. If something doesn’t feel right or if things stop adding up, go with that feeling and pull back and reassess or leave and find someone who is fully open and ready to commit to you.
MENTION-ITIS, in any form is 🚩!
I only saw this in retrospect, all the times he was mentioning her, without mentioning her.
Examples I’d later discover were mentions: His kid applied to the same esoteric little private school she attended, and began studying the same foreign language she speaks.
Son went trick or treating with “a lady who is a mom at his school.”
He took his kids on a trip to a random state where she happens to be from.
He started talking about a new neighbor lady of his a ton, and lied about when she actually moved there.
He kept highlighting a career choice of mine, because little did I know it matched hers.
Anytime a waitress looks at you like she has seen a ghost it usually means he very recently and frequently dined there with her.
There are signs - but unless we are 🔮 they won't make sense until you have a name, and a glance at her SM. Then it alllll makes sense. Mentionitis! 🚩🚩🚩
- constantly talking about her (casually or “funny” stories)
- taking you to the same spots (and telling you about it)
- buying you the same gifts/shopping at the same stores
bonus: when he's still got photos and trinkets and refuses to get rid of them when asked 🤡
every time i have ever felt a burning desire to go through the phone of a guy I was in a relationship with, I found some horrible and hurtful evidence of cheating. I think your instinct tells you really all you need to know. I did have one ex who I never felt the need to go through his stuff. because he didn’t turn his phone away from me while texting or seem to be hiding anything and seemed to genuinely adore me and think I was the most beautiful woman. It ended for different reasons. But I really do think you can tell when a guy is actually into you and not busy obsessing over and comparing you to an ex. I think they really do make it obvious when they are focusing on you and value you as their partner.
My ex( on our 1st meet/date): He says, "She speaks 3 languages, was a flight attendant..." All said w a longing look in his eye of sorts🤦🏿 Fast forward to staying at his place, he has a stash of her things. Beauty products, all kinds of stuff.
I have just posted here 3 days ago about this coworker who I was not sure if he was interested. Anyways, we went out yesterday and I have just decided to cut him off because this SCROTE let it slip yesterday that his ex had moved to this “x” town and the day before he posted on his IG he was in this “x” town😂😂😂😂 They still follow each other on IG and her pics are still there! Of Course they are not “exes” and I’m almost 99% sure they are still together. Men are so audacious that they don’t even hide their bullshit.