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I think it was from "Why does he do that" by Lundy Bancroft and it states (paraphrasing) that it's more likely for a man reporting abuse by a female partner to be the abuser himself because of how common DARVO is, and the inherent power imbalance between the sexes.
Feeling shame and being scared of your abuser is a common thread between both
male and female victims. An abuser pulling DARVO will be anything but shameful and fearful - sometimes they are downright smug. There is no fear or shame on how they talk, not even the learned confidence of someone previously ashamed. They absolutely relish in telling the world how they were the victim.
We often get told men are "scared" to come out about abuse, and while some victims are, there's been much attention directed at male "victims" that are loud and proud about it and know they'll have a swarm of well-meaning "equality" proponents supporting them.
Male victims receive a similar slandering when they come out and they suffer from loss of career, invalidation and mental health problems too (Brenden Fraser, Kevin Spacey's victims), and don't receive the same fanfare as Johnny Depp.
First there was Depp, now this guy riding on his coattails. I won't justify violence even in response to cheating, but it's dishonest to say a single act like this is equivalent to coercive control and abuse.
All of this also applies to the "men get raped, too" criers who usually use that argument to shift attention away from female victims and insinuate that there are as many female rapists as there are male ones.
But in the vast majority of cases they get raped by other men (e.g. a man sexually abusing children, in prisons or war, in homosexual relationships... all of which is vastly underreported skewing the numbers even more). And while there may be a one in a million case of a truly ill woman drugging or somehow overpowering a man or a statutory rape of an underage boy by an adult woman, that's the absolute exception.
Instead of saying "men get raped/abused, too" it would be way more accurate to say "Men rape/abuse other men, too" instead of insinuating this is a "violent women" problem. But no! That would paint men in a bad light. We obviously can't have that.
Early in our relationship my abusive ex claimed his ex had hit him. Of course I believed him (what man would make that up? Right??) and felt sorry for him. Guess what. At the end of our relationship, he held the shower door closed and turned the water to cold when I was in the shower. When I pushed his hand away he took an exaggerated step back and immediately claimed I hit him. Instantly I knew he had lied about his ex all those years ago. These guys are fucking sick. This guy continues to claim to anyone that he's an abused man but just takes it because he's soooo wonderful. He DARVO'd it.
Men are literally the most privileged class of people out there. Yet they complain the most and the loudest about every tiny thing and squeal 'not all men' repeatedly instead of looking to fix the problems that every woman has had with men.
Whenever I hear that “both sides” comment, I reply by promising to have that discussion when the numbers are equal. Until then it’s like 95% to 5% . The 95 is what we need to be urgently discussing. We should be working together on a response to get that 95 number down.
Oh no, I love the Black Keys so much, they’re pretty much my favorite band :( Not gonna listen to them anymore though ofc. Can’t separate the art from the artist