I’m a healthcare professional, a while ago I started dating this guy who I had some mutual friends with. He was handsome, had a good career, nice car, own house and was a real gentleman. The dates were always fun and things were going well. This was until he started asking me questions regarding his health. He kept messaging me and asking what symptoms mean and whether he should be worried. Initially I didn't mind until it became so frequent thar I questioned him and he admitted he had really bad health anxiety and had done his entire life. I immediately broke off with him as his motives were entirely self centred, using my expertise for his own flaws and benefit and looking for a live in doctor and carer. No way.
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Oh hell yes to this as a retired teacher. I hated it whenever any man would “apologize” for his grammar (who cares? Said that a lot), or claim what a shitty student he was (like that impresses me?) or worst of all, told with pride how he used to torment his teacher. Always a female teacher too, so major small dick energy there. I always stopped talking the moment they wanted anything related to my job. Quite often told men, hire someone, stop being cheap, and just don’t ever talk to me about work!
They are so shameless, too.
I work in academia and am an expert in a certain area's material culture (I'm not comfortable going into more detail, it's a small field).
I have been asked to be a free museum guide, travel planner and guide (and paying my own travel expenses, of course), birthday entertainment, ghostwriter for school assignments, tattoo designer, third party expert in a friend's/relative' insurance case, smuggling and fraud accomplice (...yes, seriously) etc. more often than I can count. And not just for the scrote himself. They totally expect you to first organize all of it and then to take two weeks off to go on holiday with their cousin's family to be their guide 24/7 and paying your own expenses while they don't even come along. I have had scrotes I rejected come out of the woodwork years later with insane requests like that.
This is something that really effs me up. Stop asking women to work for free - women do it too. I was in mental health; now healthcare, and so I get all kinds of calls. The only person to ever offer me a dime was my ex husband for his son (with his current wife) bc he was struggling. My ex asked me what my rate was and doubled it bc you should pay your friends more, not look to get a discount. Of course, there’s times when you share responsibility (FE - my bff and I watch each other’s dog when we go on vacation), but that’s shared labor, not free labor. I can’t stand the manipulation they use to get the free labor either. Once they start patronizing me - “I’m calling YOU bc you’re so good at your job” like I’m supposed to feel honored. I’d feel honored if you stopped cornering me at parties to ask me if I think your husband is a narc - to which I always reply “he probably is, but you should double check with (insert therapist name here) (and I pull out a business card of who I refer to) and their rates are 200/hour.” They’re not 200/hr, but that’s usually how I get them to scoff at the price, so I can then say, “well that’s what I charge bc my time and expertise is valuable,” and I walk away.
I can't stand men who need help without being actually infirm.
And nothing killed my interest more than one date not knowing the two directions of a street, and another needing me to catch him when he slipped.