Saw my ex with a new woman

My mom literally told me when I was like 12, “Men don’t mourn, they replace.” Truer words have never been spoken. And in the case of an abuser, of course he’s with someone else. New supply, new victim. Feel sorry for HER, not yourself. She has no idea what's coming, sadly, while you’re free.

Hey, I’m on the spectrum and my ex was a dirty liar too. How long were you together? If it was a long time, then 6 months could still be shaky for him to be in a new relationship. Do you think he’s on any meds/has reflected or is doing any therapy? My instinct is no. Unlike us, men are desperate to fill the void that’s left by women. Men are nothing without a woman in their life. He needs the trophy, the social approval, to prove his worth to everyone. Remember as a woman, YOU are the centre of everything. I will make a post about this shortly and explain why. Please read it to reassure yourself. This man is a love bomber, and thus it will all play out as it has before. She likely means little to him, as he is yet another man looking out for himself. No one means anything to him. For example, while you were together, did he talk about his friends in a negative light or make excuses to not see them? That helps indicate the quality of his character. My ex only cared to talk to them when he needed them or wanted attention.

Six months is quite a long time. I was a very different person six months after my ex-husband and I broke up to the day we broke up. I didn’t imagine I’d be in another relationship for a very long time but pretty much six months later I was at a Christmas wonderland with my now boyfriend, holding hands and kissing under fairy lights. Maybe he’s had counselling and is in a great place, maybe he’s not, maybe the woman is his mate’s girlfriend and they met up to arrange his surprise party. It doesn’t matter really. I’m sorry you’re hurting and I promise you I know what it feels like to not adequately get closure. But closure is a myth and relationships just end. Rather than look back and wonder, you need to look forward and plan. What would make you excited right now? It’s a great time of year to focus on autumn leaves or Halloween or even Christmas. Make some plans and fill your diary. I’m planning a visit to a local arboretum once the leaves change a bit more and I just ordered some stuff for the trick or treaters. I’m in a relationship now but the greatest takeaway from FDS is decentering men from our lives. I’ve actually only got two things in the diary with him for the rest of 2022, I’ve got two with my best friend, a solo trip and a trip with some other friends. Never again will I fall into the trap of letting my relationship take centre stage. Good luck x

I’m similarly reeling at the moment regarding an ex and the best advice I can give you is this; all the problems, issues and niggly things you experienced with this man. Well, that’s her problem now. She’s got herself someone who lied and hurt you. Don’t envy her! That’s not where you want to be. Him moving on doesn’t saying anything about your worth or your value. He hasn’t ‘won’ in any sense. I understand that you want to understand whether he lied to you. I am in a similar quandary with some shady stuff my ex said/did. But I think a better question is this: ‘if he was capable of lying or being dishonest about something so significant, why would I want him anyway?’ As humans who love/loved we want to feel confident that we mattered to someone. I think that’s natural. But whether you did or didn’t or whether he lied or not, the only person who you need to matter to now is you, lady. Give yourself all the love in the world. This is the chance to focus on you. To do what makes you feel loved from the inside out - whether that involves kissing somebody new (or not!), painting a wall, relocating to Peru. Whatever! You are still you without his ‘love’, charm and lies.

Dudes always manage to find another woman immediately. They don't work on themselves, the just move on to the next because they're shallow and just need a new supply of whatever. My ex cheated in a really fucked up way, and he started dating someone new WHILE we were breaking up and moving out. They're shit and only care about their dick wants and having a women around as a bangmaid.

He has lost you already...he can find many girls but he won't find someone like you who truly loves him...it's his loss...know your worth and throw him out from ur mind and heart....I know it's hard...but u can do it.

Go on Instagram and rabbit hole into “how to get over a break up”. Your brain is withdrawing from a potent cocktail so you need support. Most importantly, block him on all social media and do what you can to avoid seeing him.

Hey, in all honesty, you don't know if he's having a great time in life.

I'm not autistic, but I do have ADHD and struggled quite a lot with reading others' cues due to it. Some neurotypical people are quite skilled at pretending to feel certain emotions. You've seen that first-hand with how your ex treated you, and now it may not be any different.

This may be a rebound relationship, and due to not taking the proper time to heal, it's probably not as amazing as what you caught from looking at them for half a minute.

But then again, as @Bathsheba said, six months can be quite a long time for different people. You can't compare your healing journey to others' -- especially not a neurotypical dude's.

We all have specific challenges in life, and we have to be kind to ourselves when we seem to be struggling more than others. It doesn't mean we're "losing", but that we still have work to do. He got a headstart over you by virtue of being neurotypical and not investing as much as you in the relationship you shared. You don't need to compare yourself to him, just focus on what you need to feel better.

Everything looks like butterfly and roses on the outside. Listen to the breakup podcast! It’s great and the speaker talks about her experiences and others. I have to say that when I left my ex-husband, I didn’t care who he talks to or what he does and when he got married it didn’t bother me at all lol. I could careless who that piece of trash is married to. Funny enough he got married in May and his sister-in-law told me how he is unhappy and that she is a very bad person from the ghetto and his whole family don’t like her either 😂 I told her that I don’t care about either of them. He can live with his choices. I will never in my life go back to a man like him. I would rather die

Manipulative Abusers play the exact same recipe on each Victim. Research: Love Bombing, Future Faking, and Mirroring. (These are the almost-pleasant aspects of Abuse that are needed to hook you.) Then Research: Narcissistic Discard, and see if it sounds familiar. Be happy you escaped. Remember that everything he said or did in the beginning was an illusion. The “Real Him” was what you endured for the final year or so of the relationship. (You don’t want that!) You’re probably struggling with Cognitive Dissonance and maybe even a side order of Trauma Bond. Go to PsychCentral and read up on those words?