Reminder not to settle for walk or errand "dates"

Thanks for sharing the rates we should charge these lazy men :)

I always wonder why we have to make someone see our worth in the first place.

As in, why don't these zero effort men, just give us respect straight off the bat.

It's understandable, a person wouldn't give respect if they were disrespected.

But to automatically register a person as a thing to disrespect straight away is incomprehensible to me. Why is there zero compassion....

A strong round of applause for Captain!

Print this out and put it on your desk. When he asks for unpaid labour from you, remember, you're not a charity. Even NGOs get regular donations and need to maintain a capital so they could pay the employees on time. Oh, you wanna volunteer? Ask yourself:

-how many starving children are you saving by doing so

-how many abused women are you getting out of the way of violent men

-how many trees are planted because of you

None?

How much do you make an hour? How much does he make? oh, you don't know?

YOU DON'T KNOW? or you're too shy/scared/ ashamed to ask him about his finances?

if you don't know how much he makes an hour, then you should not be volunteering or getting duped into helping him. you're not helping "us", you're playing personal assistant, dog walker, dime a dozen therapist to a man who will not disclose his personal finances to you because guess what? he doesn't consider you valuable enough to know.

Wanna volunteer? Wanna feel needed and important? Get to the closest NGOs and volunteer. Help an old lady around the house. Scoop the cat turds out of her litterbox and take her to a medical visit. Help your mother, wash her feet. Hug your sister and help her with the homework. free of charge, tutor a bunch of girls for their exams if you're in the field. Give them a tour of your Alma Mater, DO SOEMTHING but not for him!

be so busy that he's not the thought that gnaws at you - this one is from Sherry Argov's why men love bitches.

I had this room mate who kept the notes she used to write her ex-boyfriend. She would bail on class in order to have time and cook for this jerk. She recounted how she made him vegetable cream soup once and wrote on the note "Made you some soup so you don't starve! I love you!". I wondered why she kept the note on her desk. Did the jerk give her the note back and took the food? I thought this woman imagined that without her fucking cream soup a man 5+ her senior would starve - I could see the romantic gesture but it did not add up; she constantly performed labour FOR him at her own expense. Wrote notes to him, cooked him food, took him out, organized, managed and cleaned up after him.

This woman had this pavlovian response when he gave the order. She would even endanger herself to be with him.

He did not look underfed at all, on the contrary. And she kept the note because it was from the time he kicked her to the curb - was already two-timing her. Apparently she figured out he dumped most of the food she cooked in the toilet bowl and didn't even bother to clean the toilet afterwards or the recipient. This man was not starving. This man did not need her help with cleaning his apartment or buying socks or shirts for him. This man used her like a maid in order to date another woman at the same time.

Men are not helpless. Neither are you.

This reminds me of a post I saw ages ago where a stay-at-home mom actually did the math what all the work she does for her husband and family would cost if it was done by a professional. She wrote down what she did every day and for how long and then looked up what a nanny, housekeeper, personal assistant, tutor, cook/caterer, taxi driver, dog walker etc. etc. would charge for that task and time. The total was insane and she didn't even include things like emotional support, sex, accompanying her husband to events and so on (which she could have charged as a therapist, escort or prostitute) or any compensation for the times she was pregnant or the loss of income from quitting her own job and career, which would have driven up the numbers even more.

Ladies, our time and effort is worth a lot of money. Don't give them away for free or cheap.

Amen.

Ladies, think of your hourly rate when it comes to dating. If a clients pays you $100 + tax an hour, for example, you're sure as hell not going to go for a coffee.

For me, thinking of my time in terms of my career helped me apply FDS vetting rules and holding boundaries.

Good points on watch how he interacts with family and in particular the parents. Also, how they interact and treat people who don't have something they want.

I still don't understand the whole 'disrespect a person before you've even got to know them' mindset though. It's as if they have no dignity for themselves even to shame themselves in front of another person if I've explained myself right.

It's a blatant recurring pattern of abuse and they're thick stupid to think we can't see it or feel it in our gut.

They don't even try to hide it. And what's worse, they never grow and improve or even make amends to someone they've done wrong.

They are so superior in they're mindset that they can't admit their mistakes. All fakes. Glad I'm not bothered with them anymore.

Im not washing my hair to go to target with any man. That’s for damn sure lol

I'll only go on a walk date if he wears the Scolds Bridal.

If he considers a walk date us walking from our separate cars to the nice restaurant he booked in advance, then sure...