Reddit Post - Man has no attraction or desire towards his partner and calls it “cold feet”

Posts like this just remind me how no matter what women do, they are never enough. I feel terrible for all the women who waste their lives on men like this. Men who don't light up when they enter the room, don't cherish them and feel honored to know them. Paul Newman once said of Joanne Woodward, "I delight in her." That is what every woman deserves. We should never settle for less, but most women will.

He's sizing her up like an acquisition. There's nothing romantic or even kind he says about her. It's like he's talking about his animal at the county fair. How sad and disheartening

This makes me wonder if all the cold feet we hear about are because of guys like this latching onto women they don't love.

I gotta laugh at the part about him bringing "calmness" and "logic" to the table. He appears to be neither calm nor logical. He's dead weight.

He's freaking out, and he's like "I don't want children but maybe I should try having them in case I regret not having them". What twisted "logic" is that? Children deserve a father who wants them. It's sick that so many guys think it's okay to "try it out" and then abandon their children when it turns out they definitely don't like being fathers.

I hope the comments are roasting him for that.

I've noticed when women don't want children, they tend to be resolutely childfree. Men tend to be more wishy-washy.

How do men even get to this point, honestly? Of course I know the answer. Because they coast along and get comfortable (OP even says this) and to keep the benefits they agree to get married, even though they don't want to. They're so used to getting everything without effort, why step up their game now? He is 50% of the vibe they have going on. He has settled for her and acts like it and expects the relationship to be "wow" and dreams of someone hotter? Well. He created this problem for himself. Just goes to show that men DO know whether they actually want to marry you or not, they're just dishonest about it until the last minute. I actually have more sympathy for women who settle because they usually do due to the abysmal selection of men and the patriarchal brainwashing that being chosen by a man is the most important thing in a woman's life. Men don't experience these pressures and thus have fewer (if any) good reasons to settle. cowardice, laziness or the increasing need to procreate (which doesn't apply here).

Meanwhile I’m picturing this guy as the week old vanilla yogurt rotting in the garbage can. Balding, not in the shape he claims to be, boring, does absolutely NOTHING to enhance his relationship and just expects everything to be magic all the time.

We all know the kind…gets dumped, puts himself out on the open market and can’t get a single woman to pay any attention to him because there is nothing “special” or interesting about him whatsoever. So so typical for guys later in life. They think they can do so much better…but they don’t. He thinks he’s the prize. LOL.

Fuck this cowardly, mediocre loser. How much does anyone want to bet he's also a '50/50', 'equal partnership' kind of scrote?! Ending up like roommates is exactly the outcome that this approach inevitably leads to, yet he's so fucking dense that he just can't make the connection between his own attitudes and behaviours and the results he's gotten, all the while blaming her and her completely non-existent shortcomings.

No woman will EVER be good enough for this prick, and that's because it's not the women who are the problem here.

Was this guy printed at Generic Guy Factory? He "can't think about getting older", doesn't want kids but doesn't want to regret not having them, wants to get married to check off a box, and he brings "logic" to the table with his "rational stoic guy brain". Oh and he's "emotionally reserved". I bet he's into sports and whiskey and cars too. Give me a break. His biggest complaint about his girlfriend is that she's not a supermodel porn star - the "weight distribution" of 135 at 5'4" is just having woman hips instead of a teenager body. This guy screams Coolidge Effect to me. I hope he calls it off because she at least deserves a man with a personality who isn't pornsick.

Even through his luckwarm eyes, you can tell this woman is amazing

This post makes me so sad for her, nobody deserves to be treated like that

As someone who got married twice I can only say, he needs to abort this whole thing. He's not gonna get what he wants and way more important, he's robbing the woman of a happy life with children and a husband who actually loves her for who she really is.

This post just made me realise that men like this are such procrastinators - only thinking the crucial questions at the last minute and never developed the maturity to decide. They just bumble through life, their head in fantasy land, enjoying home-cooked meals and receiving foot rubs... meanwhile their partner has been using all that time to work hard at the relationship, prepare for marriage/kids, create a life around him, etc.

He needs to stop making it her fault that he’s in this state (such as blaming her values or her body) and just admit he was using her for the benefits without realising the relationship progressed so far 😤

This is a cautionary tale for us too. If you want kids and he doesnt, or vice versa, end the relationship immediately. You CANNOT marry a man who doesnt want the same thing regarding children. Its a non-starter. Youre fundamentally incompatible. I'm guessing this guy always avoided the topic and never directly told his fiance that he didnt want kids. He probably led her on like "well maybe someday". But that doesnt cut it. If you want kids and and he isnt enthusiastically, decisively planning on having kids, then he won't make a good father. Dump him.

Yikes! He wants more drama! Men really do want chaos and pain in order to feel “WOW” moments or whatever. Stupid man. I wonder if she notices the paired red flags here of a low sex cohabitation relationship, and a cheap courthouse wedding? Since he keeps his extreme low empathy so quiet, these might be the only indicia of his overall lack of enthusiasm for her. Ugh!

FIVE YEARS. She wasted five entire years of her life, into her thirties, on a man who knows she wants kids and knows he does not, knows he doesn't find her attractive and even thinks she's fat at a perfectly normal weight, knows he's not really into her and they already have a dead bedroom, "even on trips," because he's almost certainly a pornsick coomer with overtaxed dopamine receptors and a useless organ that doesn't stay hard unless he's abusing it frantically in front of a computer screen. FIVE YEARS.

This is why we don't pursue men. This is why we don't pay for anything. This is why we don't live with them before the ring is on our finger. This is why we don't date them longer than one to two years without a proposal and a wedding date (for a real wedding, with a real ring, not a courthouse appointment with the judge--"Honey, while we're there we can renew our tags and I can apply for a permit to build that shed I was thinking about!" --This scrote, probably).

The woman in this scenario, sweet as she may be, is reaping the rewards of being a hopeless coolgirl Pickmeisha. I hope she somehow finds the post and throws the whole man away before making the biggest mistake of her life. I hope this because I was this Pickmeisha in my marriage to my ex. In fact I bet he could have written this same post almost word for word and I, blissfully unaware after dating him and then living together for more than three years before he gave me a half-assed drunken proposal without a ring, thought the marriage could work. We've been divorced for more than a decade and even now, the misery of being his wife has kept me from accepting subsequent proposals over the years, and makes me wonder if I'll ever marry again. The marriage was the most painful five years of my life, an experience I would literally rather die than repeat. He went out of his way to devalue me through purposeful neglect, resentful passive aggression, and countless little cruelties to constantly remind me how little he thought of me, and how angry he was at me for saying yes.

Don't pay for anything, not on dates, not on trips. Don't see him for more than a few days at a time. Don't live with him before marriage. Don't call him or text him first, and only answer the phone sometimes and only text him back when you feel like it. Don't go out of your way for him. Don't cook for him unless you're really cooking for your own pleasure--and even then, don't cook for him more than very, very occasionally. Do not life a finger to clean a single inch of his home, car, or office. Do not buy him wifely gifts like clothes or expensive items until you are actually his wife. Christmas, birthdays? A book or a tee shirt or an inexpensive pocketknife is fine. Your anniversary? Don't get him anything; he buys you the romantic gifts until you are married. Do not travel to see him, not ever, unless he lives in a very beautiful location that you would want to visit anyway, and then he must still pay for everything. Do not change yourself in any way to try and get him to pick you--do not wonder if he will pick you! Always ask yourself just one question: what do I get out of seeing this guy? If the answer is not 100% positive, dump him and move on. There is no shortage of men, just a shortage of high value men. They will lie to you forever if it suits them, as we can see in this thread. They will bleed you of every last drop of energy, youth, and vigor without thinking twice about it. They know it's wrong, but they don't care. Protect yourself, sis. Vet ruthlessly and forever because otherwise...

FIVE YEARS. 😭

"She brings emotional intelligence while I bring logic" he says. This is a man whos never genuinely MET his fiance, let alone gotten to like her. He believes all women are one dimensional stereotypes, and we're all pretty much interchangable. No wonder he doesnt feel giddy about this woman - she's not the love of his life. No woman will ever be the love of his life, because we're not fully human to him. Also, he's a highly illogical fuckwit. Knock it off with your "I BrInG tHe LoGiC"

EDIT TO ADD: I kept reading. He says "she's 5'4" 135lbs, nothing huge". <<< See there, he called her a "thing". She is not a person to him.

He thinks he brings calmness and logic to the table, lol. This whole post is malestyria.

Sounds like my first marriage. We barely made it to the second year of our wedding anniversary before the word "divorce" was uttered from our lips.

See, and this is why I tell non-FDS women to never make the first move, because this is what happens. Men be screaming and crying and wanting women to approach them first and put in all the hard work, but it's all a lie and it doesn't work out the way these men desire in the end. When men say they want women to put in the effort and make the first move, they were hoping a 10/10 supermodel porn star type to do that. Not a regular everyday woman. Look how unattracted the Reddit OP is to a very fucking normal, healthy 135 lbs woman is.

Literally, if every single woman on Earth right now just stop making the first move and lean back, and let the men work for it if they want to receive romantic attention from us, we would see way more happier couples. I really do believe this. Men have every right to be with a woman who is right for them; women whom they find attractive in all ways, women whom they can be themselves around, women who bring out the best in them. I truly believe if men just put in the elbow grease themselves, they can create these dream relationships they keep fantasizing about in their heads.

But they're lazy and so now this shit happens. I feel so bad for her. You have cold feet because you know you're not it for her. Hope they break up and stop the wedding immediately.

This is yet another example of men only wanting the women who left them, and any new woman, not their current woman. Thanks to porn and social media.

He wants younger and smaller meanwhile he is aging and plumping up.

I have a 60yr old LV relative who recently told me he's thinking about asking out a 40yr old woman "out of pity." He literally said "most guys would think she looks old." Sir, you're old enough to be her father and you have like 4 teeth left. Another 40yr old male relative only wants women 18-22. Its fucking gross. Honestly shit like this is why i pretty much strictly like younger men, at least their dicks work, for now.

I'm approximately the same size as his poor bride to be, and this man is an absolute twat. 135 is a NORMAL weight for a 5'4" female. In fact, it can be quite trim depending on your musculature and/or fat distribution. Like we're all supposed to weigh what anorexic, coke-snorting models weigh seriously....or porn stars who do daily enemas....men really don't know how much is a healthy weight for us. They really think we're supposed to be 5'8" and not weigh more than 110.

Realistically, we would naturally end up only about 15 pounds lighter than a man of similar height, body type, and activity level. So: average 5'4" man, about 155, 5'4" woman, about 140. Or maybe 140 M - 125 F if they're both on the smaller side.

However, the differences can often seem more extreme as women are pushed into constant dieting by fuckers like this, while men don't give a rat's ass about dieting and/or do the opposite and try to bulk up. So you end up with a lot of tiny fragile women and average to large men, who think there's something wrong with normal-sized women who aren't starving themselves and doing 6 hours of cardio per day to weigh <115 lbs. regardless of height or body type.

It's a good thing fds solves for this Just expect the same exprct the same drive he had when he was trying to pursue you, never settle, constantly vet even 20 years into the relationships, listen to your gut, etc

If she wants kids and he doesn't he should leave. Period. Incomprehensibly selfish. And lol at his complaints about her weight and height. This man has been using a woman he isn't attracted to and is too cowardly to admit it and take action. This is quite common btw.