Red flags VS orange/yellow flags?

Let's go with your definition: that an orange flag is something you can bring up as a boundary once and then if he does it again, you're gone.

I don't want to be put into the role of being his mother, nor am I a dog trainer. If a man's behavior is such that it requires constant redirection, then he's not a HVM. So, yes many orange flags=red flag.

Sounds exhausting and like a lot of work if I'm constantly having to correct a man's behavior. Where's the benefit in that?

To me, a yellow/orange flag is something you might need to watch out for, a red flag is a "do not proceed" sign and a guarantee that things will get worse. Red flags to me are therefore mostly well understood signs of abuse and narcissism. Orange flags are more uncertain, like "has quit smoking", because you never know whether there will be a relapse in the future, but depending on his character you might trust him to quit for good. Red flags usually relate to deeply held beliefs and core character traits, orange flags relate to situational behaviors. As always, the goal is to observe and be real about what you're willing to deal with. Orange flags can be valid reasons to break up too.

The only time I would consider something an "orange" flag is if it is a highly individual, uncommon boundary of mine that he could not have reasonably foreseen or expected and if the actions that violated it were 100% innocent and well meant. Which is really, really rare. This is a "bring it up exactly once and then watch his behaviour" (=orange flag)-situation for me.

I don't need to teach a man common sense boundaries, though. That's an automatic red flag.

An example:

A man bringing me a bouquet that contains a flower I am allergic too, which he didn't know and couldn't foresee because it's a very common flower = orange flag, as long as he learns from it and doesn't bring me those flowers again

man who knows I have a cat bringing me a bouquet with flowers that are really poisonous and deadly to cats = red flag. If he doesn't have enough common sense to check if his gift could kill my cat, I can't trust and rely on him in my life.

Red flags are the things that show he's potentially abusive, LVM, ZVM or NVM.

Yellow flags are the things that show he is not compatible with you. IMO, incompatibile isn't synonym with LVM. For a relationship to really work, the couple must share values and goals. A HVM might want to have children when you don't want children. That means you have different goals in life and has nothing to do with high versus low value.

You are confusing boundaries, dealbreakers and redflags. Flags mean "Hey, pay attention!" Something he said or did, that you need to investigate. Maybe it's a dealbreakers, maybe it's not, maybe you just can't be bothered to investigate and it becomes a deal-breaker.

Dealbreakers mean no deal. You want children, he doesn't, you want to buy a place in the city, he wants to move rural, etc.

Boundaries are your territory. You define what you are willing to tolerate. If he just brushed on your boundary, and you let him know this is your boundary and you are not ok with that. If he oversteps, it becomes a deal-breaker.

This is a great question. I think things can come up that are definitely orange flags (not foreseen). For example, if a man is overweight when you meet him, but on a diet / workout routine, and is losing weight as you date, isn't that an orange flag? Likewise with dental care. Maybe he didn't take care of his teeth, but now he is. Or maybe he was pornsick, and now he's no longer watching porn.