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Y’all. I have to get some things off my chest. Firstly, my father was bisexual (but most likely gay and in denial bc it was the 80s). He had several secret affairs with men while married to my mother and ended up giving her an STD—all while denying that he was gay and sleeping around with men. She ended up divorcing him when I was 2 due to him becoming increasingly violent (bc duh, closeted men HATE women).
He contracted HIV about a month after their divorce was finalized and died of full-blown AIDS about 6 years later. If my mom would have stayed with him he would have passed the virus to her and I would have been orphaned by age 8.
I say all this to say: DO NOT DATE OR HAVE SEX WITH GAY, BI-CURIOUS OR BISEXUAL MEN. They are considered High Risk in the medical community for a reason.
Over the years, I’ve noticed that there is a lot of propaganda & misinformation being spread about HIV/AIDS in order to “de-stigmatize” the disease, however please be aware that it is almost impossible for women to infect men with HIV, but men can and do catch it fairly often from unprotected anal sex with other men. They then turn around and infect their unsuspecting wives and girlfriends (with HIV and other STDs) who thought they were only having unprotected sex with each other. Don’t believe me? Just ask any (female) gynecologist. They will tell you.
At my last checkup my gyno asked if I was sexually active to which I replied “not anymore” as I had just ended things with my ex. She then goes on to tell me that if I get into a relationship or get married to “ALWAYS insist on using condoms because men lie!” She then shook her head and said, “you wouldn’t believe the amount of married and monogamous women I treat for STDs.”
To me this is the reason women need spaces like FDS. Because reddit and the rest of the internet will gaslight us about the reality of dating dangerous and deceptive men. I truly believe they do this because it collectively enables their own degeneracy, and you absolutely cannot convince me otherwise.
This is also why I’m pro-snooping and encourage all women to listen to their gut! If shit ain’t adding up, do whatever you need to do in order to protect yourself. Period.
Take it from someone who’s life was almost ruined by a man being deceptive about his sexuality: if you so much as even suspect your male parter or love interest is interested in other men sexually, RUN.
I just want to reiterate the advice about always using a condom when you have sex. When I was a teenager in the 90s, this was drilled into me. "You're not just sleeping with him, you're sleeping with his entire sexual history" was a popular slogan at the time. I'm kind of shocked at how this advice seems to have fallen by the wayside in recent years. (Think about it. If a man doesn't want to use a condom with you, then he's probably not using a condom with other partners. Do you really want to expose yourself to that?). I definately agree that people nowadays downplay how serious HIV/AIDS is. I appreciate that anti-retroviral therapy exists but still, isn't it better to never get HIV/AIDS in the first place?! Plus anti-retroviral therapy is hugely expensive so if you don't live in a country that has universal healthcare, then how are you to pay for it?
This 100%! Thank you for writing this post. ❤️ I wish I'd have known this before allowing unprotected sex with an ex I found out was a malignant narcissist/sociopath. He abused me in every way possible and even said 'he hoped he'd catch HIV so he can spread it to women'. Luckily I never caught anything but I know he slept with other women AND men behind my back, disgusting vile POS he is. He used his own body as a biological weapon to terrorize good women with. He also gave me folloculits which I still have 5 years later, no dermatologist has been able to cure it and I read its almost always on the skin of HIV positive men so I jnow he probably told me that statement since he was having unprotected sex with most likely HIV positive gay and bi men. Bi men are f*cking dangerous to women and I don't give a f*ck what anyone says but I think all bi men are narcissists. They're depraved and just want to hurt women and use them to uphold their image. I don't even think bi men exist, they're definitely gay 100% its sad women are gaslighted into dating them when they're so dangerous to our health. They know that women don'twant them which is why they hide their sexuality and even gay men don't want them. I'venever met a bi male that wasn'ta narcissist or psychopath. I call them try sexual meaning they'll try anything and sleep with anything due to their depravity. A therapist once told me also to always use a condom, then the realization hit hard that even in marriage they still will cheat maybe eben with other men so that puts me off to relationships and marriage now.
There's a reason the phrase "Bi now gay later" exists.
At this point I'm convinced that bisexuality in men is BS. As a man you're either straight or a homosexual, there's no in between. Half of the Men who identify as bi tend to always lean more toward the male side, while the other half ends up coming out as fully homosexual. And that's one of the MANY reasons as to why I don't fuck with these homo scrotes. These so called bi males always end up favoring men over women. Idk maybe because men are easier to hook up with? Either way I stay tf away from them.
It's pretty validating that a lot of the red flags I'd reject men for are for a good reason. My stomach doesn't lie. I have gotten hate for saying that I don't want to picture my man sucking dick and if a man could cheat in a dumpter behind the 7/11 he would and plenty of gay men would be down.. so no.
I wish women's health education programs (in school and healthcare settings) would focus on this.
Guuurrl yes! God I weep at how naive I was in my younger years. First guy who I dated that was on the DL was a Tunisian when I was 26, and had NO CLUE men were like this. At that age, if males told me they were straight, I didn't question it. This was in the AOL days, and I found out by reading his chats on AOL chat rooms. Next guy was a Dominican man, who I caught by reading his emails, he had dozens of craigslist ads looking for men to suck his dick. 3rd guy was a Mexican,and by far the worst, I also checked his email and there was hundreds and hundreds of Craigslist and Reddit and Grinder messages. So many I couldn't read them all. My belief now is that, ALL men are gay until they prove to me otherwise. I don't believe actual straight males exist, or at least they are in the extreme minority. Btw so sorry for your mother. Too many women of her generation got used as a straight cover for closested gay males.
The importance of wearing condoms with males is not just for std purposes. It is actually a lot more sinister. Women don't know that seminal fluid literally changes the chemistry of a females brain to lower her defenses against the male, to get her emotionally (chemically) hooked on them. Sperm is only 5% of seminal fluid, the other 95% is a chemical concoction that biologically evolved to attack a woman's defenses against males for continuous procreation. That's why once they've cum in us, we literally become more emotional, more hooked on them. I am scared to ever have seminal fluid in my body ever again!
I agree with you! We have to be very careful. There are a lot of closeted men who act straight because they want the benefits of having a wife (they want a female slave, while they are fucking around on the DL).
https://edition.cnn.com/2023/08/11/health/doxypep-sti-prevention-pill/index.html
From the article:
"As rates of sexually transmitted infections continue to skyrocket across the United States, a growing number of physicians are prescribing a commonly used antibiotic as a way to prevent chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis infections in gay and bisexual men and transgender women."
MSM (= Men who have sex with men) rarely use condoms because they are on PreP to prevent HIV/Aids. They don't give a fuck about other STDs because all of them are treatable.
The more I read FDS the more I realize I should never date.
A lifetime of loneliness still beats catching an std. Being a cat lady sounds pretty cool.
So sorry for what happened to your mom. It must suck to contract a disease because your own husband lied to you.
I live in a place where homosexual marriage is not a thing and people are homophobic. But statistics said that a lot of married women contracted HIV. Here a lot of husbands are cheating and usually the wives just pretend to not see, because enduring a shit marriage is somehow considered a noble action. Not going to exclude the possibility that the husbands could be cheating with another woman, but I also wonder if they also getting sex from random men. I dated a "bi" guy and he basically admitted to me that eventhough he want to marry a woman he would still have sex with a man then. Barf. I guess that could apply to a lot of other men here.
The reddit comment you posted, one hit me hard "You don't need to build rapport with men ... and they're open to do dirty nasty shit" That's disgusting and further confirming my suspicion that married women in my society contracted HIV from their husband who just f_cks literally anything even a strange man.
This guy I once dated told me that he's into trans women, went to a show and almost ended up kissing this person but he freaked out & right then and there, he knew forsure he was into women but then proceeded to ask me if I thought he was gay.................???
He told me to please not tell anyone about this, not even his best friend knew about it. I have kept my promise despite that he's no longer in my life. He had or has a list of women who he's had sexual encounters with as if he was trying to prove himself to someone or to him self about god knows what.
If you're into the same gender....it's. okay. Just don't lead someone who isn't someone you're attracted too and prefer. They end up paying the price for your selfishness.