If you've seen my previous post, I've been using dating apps to practice my instincts and today someone I've been casually talking to has started to give me the ick, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
We've been speaking in a language other then English and he's been making a lot of very basic mistakes(universal to any variant of this language) for someone who lives in a place where that is the main language. So out of curiosity I asked him if that wasn't his first language.
he replied with a "Yes it is why? I speak *this variant* yeah 😜"
me: You made very simple mistakes so I was just wondering
Him: Ahaha boohoo let's say that I just don't dedicate myself to looking over my mistake 😂" (made another error there)
Something about this exchange feels icky but I can't quite figure it out. Though a casual exchange there's something here that reeks of contempt? obnoxious vibes? fuck boy vibes?
For more context I'll add that before this conversation, his tone did not give me that same ick factor, but here are some other potential red flags I'd like your thoughts on:
- within a couple of messages he asked to move off the app and talk on more personal social media platforms.
- My first photo is one with a friend and he asked me which woman I was in the photo, I answered, then checked my profile and saw that I had indeed put a selfie up as my second picture which he then proceeded to reply that he couldn't see it :(.
- Every message is ended with a :) - messages are polite but hmm
- Within a day or two(that's how long we've been talking) he asked twice what I like to do in my free time, phrased the question differently each time, and forgot the previous answer the second time. After I then proceeded to ask the language question and that's when I got the ick..
I'm wondering if I'm overthinking this or if I'm smelling a snake from a mile away. I just can't quite figure out what it is but something is rubbing me the wrong way.
The “boo-hoo” sounds patronizing like he is telling you that you are being petty(which you are not)
the “I don’t look over every mistake” he is trying to set a standard with you to make you overlook his mistakes as well. Like he is basically calling you uptight for caring about it and he is dismissing your question. And already testing your boundaries