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Last night, I don't really know what possessed me to do so but I watched porn for the first time in two years which was so strange, it was like revisiting an "old friend" that I realized had turned into an enemy. I was introduced to violent, degrading, dehumanizing BDSM/gangbang videos at the age of seven in addition to my little brother by an adult and ever since then up to about two years ago I watched it religiously and (this pains me to admit it) but "got off" the most degrading shit imaginable. I literally was a female porn addict and it was so embarassing because I thought only men "struggled" with their urges to look at such content.
I quit cold turkey two years ago after stumbling across some radical literature on how liberal feminism tricks us insidiously, repackaging female "empowerment" as exploitation, pain, and how capitalistic societies essentially market female bodies as objects. It all made sense finally, it was like a light had clicked in my brain and I understood the damage pornography had done to my mind and soul. I stopped watching porn that night, abstained for two years, and I guess out of morbid curiosity more than anything clicked on a video, and I felt incredibly sick after the two-minute mark. All I saw was a woman acting like the living dead, performing robotically, and I could see in her eyes that she was soulless and in pain, I just wanted to reach out and get her off that screen. It was a lot to take in and before leaving that screen, I just saw the number of views: 68 million.
I honestly think that porn has corrupted and ruined today's youth and Genz males are becoming more socially maladapted and apathetic, all the most horrific and degrading, depraved content is at the click of their mouse. I was thinking about this the other day, how the fuck has stepsibling incest porn become normalized?! Such degeneracy wouldn't be acceptable even a few decades ago, I had a chat with my aunt the other day and she told me that the only guys who watched adult content were considered creepy and lurked around adult stores and sneaking out tapes, back then watching depraved content was something to be ashamed of. Just a reminder that pornography IS harmful, it's not NORMAL to get off men degrading women and choking them. How is a man in love okay with putting his woman in pain and squeezing his hands around her throat? I can't believe porn conditioned my mind to think literal STRANGULATION was arousing, I'm recommitted to never touch it again.
Boycotting men who watch porn is the best safety measure you can take.
It's not your fault that you were abused like that, and now you don't have to punish yourself anymore by watching porn. Porn has ruined male and female relationships. Men have never been that great towards women, but the depravity and horrible actions men take against women they hardly even know these days is beyond the pale. When you go on a date, there's well over a 90% chance that the guy is porn sick and will look at you and treat you like an object. That he'll never emotionally connect with you, because he's been jerking off to violent porn since he was 11 years old. It literally ruins their brains. Please don't b yourself, and if you need to get help to further abstain from punishment for what some asshole did to you when you were a child, please don't hesitate.
I accessed porn for the first time while I was underage out of intense curiosity and developing sexuality - the internet just became a popular thing, awful sex ed in my school didn't help either - and I don't think I was addicted per se but I was searching for it on a regular basis for weeks or months, I can't really recall now, but I found some super disturbing shit...I think I may have blocked this out in my mind because it's unclear...and I also quit cold turkey.
I have not looked up or viewed porn in years (literally mid 2000s maybe?), unless you count the gross memes and video clips scrotes continually post on social media 🙄
I made it to over 100 days before relapsing. What triggered me was curiously looking at NSFW material. I got mad at myself, but I know that what I consume affects my mindset.
I'm so sorry you were introduced to it at such an impressionable age, you were only seven. It was not your fault! Be proud of yourself for emancipating yourself from it.