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I think she makes a few good points, but ignores gender differences.
One of her arguments against the phrase "if you wanted to he would" is "if she wanted to, she would". This doesn't make any sense considering that men desire female companionship more than woman desire male companionship. This fact in and of itself should mean that the onus is on men. And men being too scared / shy to make the first move means that they aren't ready to date. If they're too scared to make the first move, imagine what else in life they won't be able to have the courage to face.
I find her argument very naive. She says it's about loving the person, not the gifts they give you or other "capitalistic" things. Unfortunately this conception only maybe makes sense between wlw.
Being with a man carries inherent risk. Men cheat, lie, are more violent, more likely to leave their partner when ill, etc. Men need to show that they are strong protectors and providers to offset that risk. Part of that is gift-giving and other capitalistic things.
She says that it's nice to be a receiver as a woman, but we should focus on giving love. Why??? Why is it not okay for women to sit back and receive??? I'm convinced that for a relationship channel to get big on YouTube, they have to pander to pick-mes and LVM. YouTube channels that are FDS oriented are orders of magnitude smaller and get fewer views.
It is not hyper realistic to expect a man to buy flowers, take you on a trip, make your favorite coffee, etc. Many men are capable of this, and this is how they can show love in a capitalist society. Love cannot be separated from capitalism. And you can love a person for who they are AND how they treat you, which is what FDS advocates.
I'm getting sick of all these 'woke' pick-mes trying to say that having standards for your male partner is unrealistic. If she says this out right, she knows that she will get hate, so she obscures it by pulling in concepts like hyperreality and capitalism. She says that love is an action, but rejects the actual actions that show love 😂. And this trash has 4 million+ views.
There's something that the author of He's Just Not That into You said on a podcast: When a man is hungry, he doesn't just sit around going "I wish had a sandwich,oh god if only someone would make me a sandwich" He goes and gets a sandwich. LVM and Pickmes keep making excuses for male behavior. Don't buy those excuses, if he's not doing something, it's because he doesn't want to do it enough.
It sounds like she talks about love as a concept in a utopian world or rather on the philosophy of love. This could be interesting in theory, but nothing substantial for real life. She's young and naive, and value-signaling sells.
she ignores all the actual actualities of being in a relationship or pursuing one.
Not sure if I agree with love not being able to be separate from capitalism. It is the culture we live in but we have the choice how much to participate in it, meaning most of us do have to work so we can have food, clothing, and shelter. But no one has to go on shopping sprees, or be a hoarder, or go into credit card debt to have the latest shiny. There’s far more choice and nuance here. I advocate that behavior is a better barometer of a relationship. As someone who values words of affirmation and quality time, those can’t be bought. Gifts are nice, don’t get me wrong, but when someone is 100% with you, tuned in, listening, hearing, really grokking you? Priceless! Have your standards and realize preferences vary person to person. I think overall we all agree: sit back, let a man be a provider and protector… in a way that suits both people. I for one as an older woman don’t need to be physically provided for; I’m not a SAHM but rather a retired career woman. A man who intellectually and emotionally caretakes? Yes please!
As an individual woman, you alone are not responsible for dismantling capitalism. And capitalism is brutal.
But I still expect a man I’m having sex with to provide- yes, even in a shrinking economy.
It’s not a fun recognition but some will lose in the dating game. If a man is losing, it’s okay that you don’t want to get onto a sinking ship.🤷🏽♀️