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As a person who worked in a variety of small shops and restaurants, I have encountered a variety of women. Some of them I considered to be good coworkers. However, I encountered a lot of Pickme's, especially mothers who obviously favored their sons over their daughters.
Like for example I knew of one mother who was pregnant. She kept telling me that she really really wanted a son because "sons are way easier to raise than daughters" and I was like wtf? Then I knew of another mother who had two older sons and a young daughter. She would praise her sons but take "joking" jabs at her daughter. She would say things like "oh since she is the youngest and the only daughter, she can be a brat at times and crave attention haha!!" She would also say that it was easier to raise her sons than her daughter (oh I wonder why? It's almost like she is acting like a "brat" to get some sort of attention by her mom who loves her sons way more!!). Then I knew two more who kept complaining about their daughters...but surprise surprise never their sons.
Has anyone else dealt with Pickme's like this? As someone who plans on adopting in the way future I could never imagine talking about my daughters in that way. It just makes me so upset for those girls, who deserve way more than to be made fun of BY THEIR OWN MOTHERS.
I'm quite convinced that they think sons are easier to raise because they often don't actually bother to parent them. Sure, it's less work to raise a child if you let them run all over the place and do whatever they want.
Who hasn't seen a variation of the following at a family event or somewhere else: the boys are roughhousing, yelling, playing ball and running all over the place and nobody says anything but as soon as one of the girls starts to squeal while playing or screech or cry because the boys are picking on her she's the one who gets yelled at to be quiet, because "those shrill girl's voices are torture and so annoying".
Sons are often the little princes who get away with a lot, don't have to do chores (or do fun "chores" like gardening or tinkering with their fathers on the weekend) and get spoiled. Of course it's more work with a daughter because they actually get disciplined if they "misbehave", you have to teach them to do chores and remind them to actually do them, and they are held to much higher standards when it comes to their behaviour (often caused by sexist expectations that are deeply ingrained in society) than their brothers.
Idiot parent: "BoYs aRe EaSiEr to RaIsE thAn gIrLs!"
Not if you do it right.
These are the parents who obsessively worry about their daughter getting raped, but never stop to consider they should teach their son consent. Anyone who claims boys are easier to raise than girls just outed themselves as a misogynist. There's no way around that
For sure. And don't be fooled for a second thinking that maybe it's just a coincidence that all of these mothers just have bratty daughts. You're right, of course, it's misogyny. With all kids, boys and girls, you need to keep them safe and raise them to be able to keep themselves safe. But only boys need to be raised to also not endanger other people. That alone means that raising girls is easier. Bonus: regardless of your personal parenting, society rewards boys for a level of misbehaving, while society expects perfection from girls; that means that girls are better behaved and require less discipline and training.
Yeah,
They're projecting their own self-hatred onto their daughters. If they could love themselves, stand up for themselves, they could love their daughters.
I've been looking at videos by Cynthia G, and in her comment sections, I heard of this concept that is basically women treating their sons as substitute husbands that won't ever leave them and will always choose them or come back to them. Thus, creating "mama's boys" and MILs (monsters-in-law).
These same mothers "raise" their daughtersand love their sons.
Starve their daughters, but give their sons extra snacks right infront of them.
I see this couple on Facebook a lot, the guy is a friend from high school. He’s shacked up with an older woman who has a prior son and daughter and they just had twins together. They constantly praise the boys at even their worst moments (shitting on the floor) but I have not once seen them compliment the daughter for a thing - they constantly joke about how difficult she is and what a drama queen she is. She doesn’t even live w them! I think they shipped her off to her dad’s place or something and she just comes to visit. They post EVERY SINGLE DAY about the sons. It infuriates me.
I'm not going to go into it because I have way too much baggage from this, but yes, this has been my experience as a daughter/youngest child.
I come from a big family. Two older brothers and 3 younger sister. Guess who is taking care of my parents now? who is the most well raised, intelligent and financially independent kids? US .. the daughters.. both of my brothers have been nothing but headache and a huge disappointment to my parents. I see the disappointment in my dads face all the time. I see how proud my parents are with their daughters. My brothers are just useless, selfish, and only care about themselves, they are horrible fathers too. I’m happy I don’t talk to them or rarely ever see them and one of them I cut him off for good because of how he treats his kids and socially isolates them.
I wonder if this is more prominent with women who grew up as only daughters or only children. I remember my aunt (by marriage) was like this. She always said she'd chastise my cousin's brother for skipping school or sleeping over at a friends house, but never did. God forbid my cousin was an hour late home from school because she missed the bus, though.
You know you can't complain about it being a man's world if you raise your sons to be those men.
Funny I see this post when I was helping my nmom with her phone problems. She has by far more photos of my brothers in her phone. Pictures of me? zero.
My mother is a Pick-Me like this. It was/is not easy to be around.
My mom is a huge pick me, in her mind my brother can do no wrong. As children he was far more destructive and poorly behaved, but my mom treated my sister and I like a burden and mostly ignored us. My sister became completely shut down, while I was punished for showing emotions. She's been hateful and manipulative to the women in my brothers life when they set boundaries (she LOVES the feeling of control), but of course my brother does nothing to resolve the situation or enforce the boundaries himself - like most men he's ignorant and spineless and throws his female partners under the bus. Both my brother and sister are No Contact with her now. She blames his new wife but will call me just to talk shit and make snide comments about my sister. She likes me the least (because I reacted to her neglect rather than completely shutting down) but I'm the only one that still talks to her (low contact). She didn't deserve any of us.