Patriarchal Projection: why it’s them and definitely not us.

In Psychology, projection is described as how one person can project their feelings, desires and opinions onto others.

Within the structure of the Patriarchy there are many projections done by scrotes and mediocre men on women they encounter.

I remember sitting last year in a German sauna, butt naked with various men of various ages and sizes. It was at my local gym and that evening the swimming pool was inaccessible as there were women taking aqua aerobics classes there.

There was one man complaining about this as we sat in the sauna. He mocked the women, trying to draw out chuckles from us, saying they needed to be assisted in moving their asses, insinuating they were infants or physically disabled in need of guided care. I saw them as mothers and women with weight problems taking one damn hour for themselves to work on their health. They deserved those classes, that space in the pool and that self care.

I looked over at the man (carefully as you don’t want to be staring in saunas in case people get the wrong idea) and saw he was overweight, I had to bite my tongue to not blurt out: hey you look like you need such a class buddy!

Then I realized: most of the time Ive heard a woman being criticized or shamed about her weight, it’s nearly always been a man doing it. And not only that, he’s been overweight himself or struggling with this issue.

Fast forward to a few months ago, I had announced I was pregnant to a relative of my partner. He chimes in almost immediately with „ha ha, how are you going to manage with that weight in the summer time?!„ He may have seen it as a friendly dig but I saw it as not only a limp fisted attempt at humor doused in misogyny, but also, I saw he was actually speaking about himself. I wanted to ask him how he manages with his huge beer belly in the summer heat, but settled for cutting off contact.

I have been gifted with being skinny all my life, even pregnant I resemble a watermelon thief with my skinny arms and swollen belly. I’ve zero issues about any weight I’ve gained, every kilo is good for my baby. I actually have a deep hatred for people who body shame and enjoy giving snide and cutting comebacks when I encounter these bottomfeeders.

I’ve also grown up watching my mother and other people I love struggling with their weight, counting calories, fretting about what people think, taking abuse and being shamed for something that they feel helpless about. And usually by men who themselves looked like they were not many years away from heart attack.

Why are women shamed by fat men for having weight? Women naturally have bodies that hold more fat, which makes sense in terms of evolution. The male body is more muscular and from an evolutionary perspective isn’t supposed to be fat.

Another major patriarchal projection is slut shaming of women. For an art project I researched how many English and German curse words there are for women. So far I’ve collected around 50, many of them meaning a woman is slutty, loose, easy or insinuating she is a prostitute.

The funny thing is women aren’t the gender that actually acts slutty or loose. Look at how men control women in every country in the world: they set laws to control women‘s bodies through marriage, sex, finances, clothing, freedom, reproductive rights and family.

Who is the real slut if it’s always men who do the pursuing? Men pay for sex, they need it more than women. How many women have gone their whole lives without having an orgasm? Men want sex so bad they spike women‘s drinks and even recently have started even injecting their victims in nightclubs. Men harass and catcall women on the street. They sexually assault and rape girls and women regardless of age, clothing or circumstance. Men make women cover up because they can’t control themselves. Men have religions that cater to their sexual needs, giving him access to a wife, making it her duty to have sex and to have his babies. She is often bound by chastity yet he is free to be the real slut.

Men strive to have sex, to be desirable. This is for most women a given, we are mostly desired, pursued and offered sex. This is all regardless of what country in which time in history. The Patriarchy is unable to escape the cold hard fact: a man will never have the intrinsic biological value a girl or woman naturally has. She is not loose or promiscuous, he is.

Which brings me to the last and most interesting projection by the Patriarchy: Women‘ weakness is actually the Patriarchy’s weakness.

There is this perception in culture by the patriarchy that women are the weaker sex. Women need to be protected(yet they don’t actually do ANYTHING to protect us) Women aren’t as strong, fast or smart as men. Women are emotional, hysterical and uncontrollable.

The funny thing is if we do down to a biologically level women are the opposite. Its actually men that are technically lacking in comparison.

Take for example calorie intake: The typical male body requires 2,500 calories per day to function. More activity means more calories. From an evolutionary standpoint he is built to be fast and strong. But the female body typically requires 500 calories less. Even when she is pregnant, this requires only around 300 extra calories per day, still less than what a male body requires.

So for less calories women function, we go to work, we run marathons, we raise children, we take care of the home. In the Olympics women are only around 5 minutes behind male olympians in marathon running. This is despite running on typically 4/5 of the calories men require. (Of course this number should reflect the increased calorific needs of olympians)

There are often loud mouthed misogynists that scream about equal rights meaning equal fights. They believe they should be allowed to hit women. What they don’t realize is they are saying that women have to be just as strong a man while having a body that uses less calories as well as be able to take a beating on top of already being a woman having to endure discrimination. So women have to endure more to be equal. It probably isn’t surprising that many men feel emasculated. Who wouldn’t when a woman can do more than you, endure hardships, give birth, work just as good if not better than you all whilst having less resources.

And the big man with the muscles wants to hit someone weaker than him to show he is strong? Make it make sense.

If we look at pregnancy and childbirth, this is also something that men are simply lacking. The biological process of being pregnant as well as caring for the baby, going through post partum is something vital to not only the continuation of our species but what society depends on.

Women‘s unpaid labor is vital to every corner of the world. Take for example a new mother who has to do 24 hour on call care for her newborn. Even giving her a measly 10€ an hour x 24x 7 days x 6 weeks postpartum = 10,080€

10 grand is a nice sum for 6 weeks work. Then reduce to 18 hours when the baby sleeps better then to 12 which is the average hours a parent requires to have for their child per day. Who pays this? Where are her benefits?

That‘s a lot of caring involved and it’s extremely valuable. Yet in a capitalist society somehow the home is off bounds in terms of calculating the value of labor. Sure the other partner can go to work and earn money, they pay taxes and pay into their retirement. But who is paying into hers? She is investing precious time to raise a future tax payer, and still has to pay taxes or even be penalized/ fired by her employer if she cannot perform.

The Patriarchy thrives on lies and projections. Once you wake up to it you start to see it everywhere. And only then you can start the work of dismantling it.

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