outlook has truly changed about dating over the years

i am young but i've been shown my whole life that because of what i look like and i didn't fit a certain beauty standard that i'm easily disposable and i don't have value. i've deal with the same things over and over again and some of it i can take accountability for because my self esteem was low and i had a lot of trauma but honestly noe i don't really care to date anymore. Also most of my attention i get now is sexual and form being seen as "ugly" growing up and now getting sexual attention, i wish i knew to not renters in that type of attention. My mom also is a desperate pick me so that didn't help. i'm just happy i found dosages that discussed these things.