On men being worthy

A guy was chatting me up and expressing shock that I was single. Which, in itself is telling, because the shock usually means “What is wrong with you that you haven’t settled yet, because I would fuck you right now and let you clean my house everyday!”

So he said something like “I just can’t believe no one had swooped you up yet.”

And I chuckled and said “Well, they’ve tried.” And proceeded to share brief and censored stories about how men have proposed, or planned to propose, but for reasons things didn’t work out. (Disclaimer—I wasn’t interested in this guy, just passing time at a bar.)

His response was “You mean none of them were worthy?” Like he was shocked and worried about it. And his question was so genuine and…odd…that it caught me off guard.

I guess the true answer is: No. They weren’t worthy.

But it gave me a mental hiccup because it’s not that these men weren’t worthy; they were lazy and selfish and didn’t care about my happiness. They were perfectly capable of being worthy; they just didn’t care enough.

Which, by definition, probably means that weren’t worthy. The mental gymnastics, still, that parade about in my mind.

So I think about that sometimes. If an ex pops into my mind, I think “He was not worthy enough to keep my company.”