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Regardless of thoughts on OLD in general, would anyone else agree that dating apps for women over 40 are a hard no? Like, I understand being interested in finding someone, but I truly believe that the best of men in the over 40 range do not go on apps…..because they don’t need to. Because they are scarce and get snapped up fast. What is left is just men that prefer much younger (and they are under the app’s intended illusion that they have a shot at meaningful access to young women that they actually don’t, because hope springs eternal), and are just looking at over 40 women as backup plans for until they land what they actually are looking for.
As someone who easily passes as 10 years younger, I‘ve tested this theory by creating near identical profiles on the same app, with the one difference being the age. I guess I wasn’t surprised how much better I was treated using my younger version….especially by the 35 and up crowd. Going from “hey beautiful“ lazy ass messages, to actually digging into my bio and leading with those details. Quicker initiation of plans as well. Has anyone else ever tried this experiment too?
I think there are good men interested in their own age range, but I feel you must meet them IRL.
Is that black and white thinking?
ETA: I want to be sure it’s crystal clear that I don’t actually buy into a woman’s partner value being dictated by age. This is an external value system I’m exploring, not mine.
Im in my 40s. I met a doctor on a dating app, a programmer, a nature conservationist. You CAN meet quality men on there, but 99 percent of letters you will not respond to. I see it as: I'm leaving up my profile just in case, like setting a net and coming to check It every week just in case something good falls in. But it's NOT my only gathering technique, just one of many I'm employing to cast a wide range and see what comes up. The key is really to date multiple men and let them chase you until they prove they are worth shutting down shop for. Do NOT become a one man woman too soon, you MUST vet consistently and for a LONG time. Be unapologetic about it. My recent conversation when a man asked me about taking them down and committing: He said he felt his search was over and he didn't want to talk to anyone else so he took his profiles down. I told him I was beyond flattered he felt that way and I am so excited and relieved to see how we are developing, but I have been burned and so I learned the hard way to never put all my eggs in one basket until I am certain he can and wants to reciprocate my loyalty and love for a lifetime. I won't take less because my loving is phenomenal, I hero worship and I don't want to dispense that to anyone not fully prepared to by my eternal hero. I advised him to take his time and really think about it because I'm a for keeps kind of quality woman.
I've extended my age range to 50 out of curiosity and the profiles are so cringey. They come off as so aggressive and you can tell that women irl avoid them. I wouldn't bother with OLD after 35.
Over 40 here...I wouldn't recommend dating apps for anyone, for a variety of reasons. But I think for us, there is a generational difference because we dated in the days before apps dominated dating (or even existed!). I don't think good men in our age group will be on the apps.
My dad met his forever wife in his late fifties early sixties on match. She was about to delete her profile (same age). They are very happy.
OLD just doesn't work for any age range, period. OLD attracts nothing but low value men who, no matter how old they are, won't settle down until they snag an 18 year old girl. It's just not worth it imho.
Attraction is fascinating when seen in action. On OLD, it is super easy for people to swipe you away very quickly if they don't like the angles you take in the photos, or if you dress too boring or some other silly reason. But when people see each other face to face, you can really see the beauty and attractiveness of the person up close and personal; pheromones, chemistry, how nice their voice sounds without recording, these are what makes a huge difference.
Ditch the OLD and try to date the old fashioned way. I hope I don't sound rude or harsh, I just hate seeing women hurt again and again by online dating when it just doesn't work.