OLD got me feeling like an unwanted, not enough woman.

Stop online dating.

Commodifying yourself is soul crushing. There is nothing wrong with you, just put the dating apps down.

I don't online date, I've been single for 5 years. There ways to meet men besides OLD, but maybe take a break to cleanse before you try. OLD is brutal, don't do that to yourself anymore.

Hey, OP, there's nothing wrong with you. The platform works on an algorithm that caters to its male user base and is intended to create more addictive interaction with the platform to keep its users engaged. It's an ego validation game. To help your self worth I suggest deleting your OLD profiles and devoting that time to yourself and things you like to do. If some of those things can be done in a group setting you've upped your chances of meeting someone in a normal venue who is aligned with your interests / mindset and not addicted to the validation high of OLD. Finding a good man on OLD is the equivalent of dumpster diving in a massive, city-wide trash receptacle filled with poisonous snakes. It is a bottomless pit and there isn't some gem hiding under the pile. It isn't worth your personal health or self esteem to subject yourself to their shit.

It's not you. Trust me. OLD has really gone down the shitter in terms of overall quality. Many women who are from different demographics and places are also seeing how appalling the dating apps have become. Deleting these such apps can really help you and your self-esteem. Believe it or not, most people go on it JUST for attention and then ignore people for shits and giggles. It's a game to them, at the detriment of genuine people who are seeking love.

I am sure you are absolutely stunning and an accomplished woman. However, I think this post points to the fact that you're not feeling too good standing on your own two feet. I gently advise to work on that before stepping back into the dating pool. Men can literally smell when a woman feels low about herself in any capacity, and seek to capitalize on that to make her feel even worse than before.

I don't think any OLD site works.

And it never will.

Men are as you said: "ghost you, put in no effort, take forever to ask you out, only want sex, are inconsistent

Or aka emotional abusive.

If they do ask us out it's forced coerced and zero effort to work out if we are even compatible to go on a first date 🤦🤷

Once a man's mindset is set to abuse, he will never treat anyone with basic respect.

These types will grow old with the same loop, even if they 'get' a woman for a short time, they can never keep her.

I'm done with it.

Make no mistake, it was my only way of meeting a partner.

But I can't stand the stress and abuse anymore.

I felt like committing suicide when I was younger and now that I'm older, I'm just so past bored and exhausted.

There's zero fun and zero hope of ever getting a man to be trustworthy long term.

And I refuse to be a punching bag for dating sites to make money off me being abused.

I wish every woman would shut her profile down to teach dating sites a lesson, that they need to at the VERY least protect us online with all the money they're making from us.

Therapy and compensation would be an added bonus but hey I won't hold my breath!

This happens to all women, of any age and looks, in OLD. Just stop torturing yourself and enabling men to toss you in the garbage. I'm good looking, make 6 figures, sing opera, was in the Army as an officer, I cook, clean, take care of myself with good food and exercise, I'm moral, faithful, kind, and loving, yet it's not enough for men. So who fucking cares about them anymore? There is literally nothing a woman can do, be, or say to change the outcome of a man's dating plan which is pump and dump. It's not like these guys will change when they meet a good woman. They don't want a good woman. They want to have as many vaginas as they can. And that's it.

It’s THEM not you. Men in your age group are objectively the worst.

There is nothing wrong with you. Seriously. It's the apps and the way guys are these days. Delete them, never go back.

Definitely time for a break. Focus on yourself for a while. Remind yourself why you're awesome. Write a list if you need to. Do things that bring you joy. Be around people who bring you joy. Forget men for a while. I am also on OLD because I'm newly returned to my area, widowed, and childfree, so it's not easy to meet men. Focus on centering yourself and leveling up. The right man will come along, and if it's meant to be, nothing can keep you apart. First, though, self-work, and remembering your awesomeness.

Amount of time single does not have any barring on you. Women in their 20s are straight up preyed upon by the many many porn obsessed men who use them and manipulate them for sex. Now that you’re forty what you’re probably seeing is how few men have always existed that have substance and genuine intentions because you no longer have the herd of men who think they can manipulate you and hold all the power. Youre looking for one person you don’t need the majority of people to be amazing just one man who’s interested in a full real relationship. They exist. People become single all the time, have life circumstances change, who do want a family and you might meet on literally anywhere. Could be a service you need and you meet them doing their job for example. Or they get to know you in a similar way. I think speed dating has more potential although the hard part is it takes more time in my opinion to see a personality. At least I think theres more people who aren’t the OLD crowd or the people who frequent bars. OLD is terrible. I got a fair amount of interest and my last bf I met online and literally had a double life, a woman he was sleeping with for 2 years and kept seeing the whole time he was dating me and made me his gf and is still with now. Pretended he was celebate and everyone who met him thought he was an extremely good natured truthful person but he was a creepy loser. 2 years of my life Wasted. Wish I never anyone on OLD. I think a high amount of men on there are actual psychopaths browsing what they see as a ‘free hooker catelog’. Sick people hopped up on porn .

Lol its not you - dont internalise it. It happens all over the world in all cultures. The men are utterly trash on OLD - I have never in my life met men like them until I joined it. Its nothing you are doing

Similar stuff is happening to me in my 20s. Their attention span is getting shorter and they are pretty lazy nowadays. I unmatch at the first 24 hours of no response or the first one-word answer so it rarely gets that far.