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After becoming aware of FDS I now cringe when I'm reading the free paper on the tube or bus. There is a section where people who who had a 'missed connection' can write to each other.
For example, 'To the guy in the purple hoodie I was the girl in the green dress who bumped into you. Fancy bumping into each other again sometime?'
So this one is very obviously anti FDS as we do not chase after men.
The ones where it is men doing the the looking are almost as bad.
'To the goddess in the blue coat, when I picked up the the paper you dropped I felt a spark. I should have said something. Dinner sometime? Guy with the ginger beard.'
It just means that the guy is too cowardly to speak up in the moment and only wants a guaranteed interaction where the woman is already agreed to go on a date with him. It seems very weak and low value.
What's a better alternative? The guy giving his business card and saying, "I would love to take you out for a date?" When a stop is coming up, so that it doesn't get awkward?
Thoughts?
I absolutely agree and it makes me cringe so hard. I was once out with a girlfriend late at night and a man with a group of mates clocked me for the other side of the street. He ran over and said, “you are a goddess but it’s late and I’m drunk. Can I please have your number and permission to call you with an appropriate flirt in the morning?” He was so hot that I gave him my number. At 11.30 the next day he phoned me and thanked me for my graciousness and asked whether he could please take me on a proper date? He wasn’t the one but he really helped me see how men act when they think you’re special and he ruined me for LVM 😁
Terrible. It's usually one of them hallucinating a romance. I would stay away from someone like that. For some reason, I wouldn't feel flattered.
Seriously…I watched a horror called ‘Fresh’ (meaning fresh meat). About a serial killer who would pick up women in supermarkets like this. It’s scarred me for life now lol
On Facebook my university has a "love letters" page which has some of the same stuff on it, but it'll often have a line going "heart react if you're interested!!". I can't imagine entertaining an approach through there. Like you really couldn't ask face to face? Idk how I'd take them seriously if I were the subject of an unironic post.
Honestly, I would not be happy if a random man asked me out after picking up a paper I dropped. I'd expect a little more connection. But, if there really was a spark (it happens; I still think about a guy from a bus in Sri Lanka 14 years ago...we definitely had a spark but he had no realistic opportunity to approach me), a note on missed connections would be a non-aggressive, non-intrusive way to make an effort. It puts the ball in your court as a woman without any fear that your rejection will be met with animosity.