Mentioning expectations in online dating profile

This reminds me of the differences in how men and women apply for jobs. Apparently men read the requirements and will likely apply anyway, hoping to blag their way through the interview. Women will say, oh well, they aren't looking for me. Moving on...

I have a few thoughts.

You may put your expectations initially, but I agree with the previous commenters for the same reasons. Even in real life interaction, I find stating your standards are not conducive to your goal in the majority of cases. It is a catch 22 in a way. As we observe behavior in helping our decision in the vetting process, our behavior is also being observed through our own actions. I don't need to state my standards, I discover someone does not meet mine, fast.

I would rather go on 2-3 dates and call it off by letting things play out with someone who sees differently and does not meet my standards than date someone for a month or two and experience backtracking on agreements or "misunderstandings" of stated expectations. Those situations place a burden on my energy and invite tension in when I do not find it necessary.

I am on a dating break as of March and am focusing on my other goals and nourishing some aspects of myself I would like to grow in. I will also never go back to OLD. With that said, over the last few years while I was dating with a relationship in between, I have not accepted a date with a man who did not meet the standards you listed. The men I dated were met both online and offline. We weren't on the same page from more nuanced things which I believe must be discovered organically, which is sort of the unfortunate reality of dating at present.

I also disagree that your list of examples would make you considered high maintenance, solely based on your list. I would encourage you to explore why you wrote those (listed) standards to be high maintenance. I understand your post is just an example of your standards, and of course not a exhaustive list of everything to consider. We all of course have more. Women living life according to the principles of the handbook are, but what you have listed is the bare minimum.

In regards to a filter or screener that you are seeking to decipher LVM/HVM, there is none. I have dated LVM who would do enthusiastically respond like your HVM example in that situation and many others. You must continuously vet. I believe honing skills in vetting is the best way to not waste your time.

Leaving it up to a man to filter themself out, honor their commitments, and agree to your expectations– is putting a lot of faith in them, especially those in OLD pools.

I wouldn't show your hand. It gives them too much information about how to get around your defences. The guys who mass swipe don't generally read profiles till after they've established contact anyway so aim your profile at your target demographic who's more discerning about who he contacts. Imagine the way you might talk to one of your type of guys in person when meeting them for the first time but with the consideration you have a table of creeps eavesdropping on the conversation. You want to make a good impression in your profile but not expose yourself.

Show your standards and boundaries in your behaviour not your words and judge men by their behaviour not their words. Allow a wide enough net to get some decent traffic into your inbox, then pick out who you're throwing back, block and delete them if it's a definite no to avoid guys you would never be interested in shooting back at you. Personally I don't reply to anything that isn't a "hell yes" not just looks good on paper. After a while viewing profiles it can skew your perception, because the bar is so low it can start to feel like the best guys on there are better than they actually are. Personally I find OLD guys pretty mediocre but I'm in an age group and demographic where OLD is not the first go to option, generally we try to keep strangers out of our hair rather than inviting them in, our dating strategy isn't go out and find guys, it's sit back and screen. Often guys behave differently messaging than they did on their profile too so you want to see how they address you specifically, not the facade they have for the whole internet.

OLD is a difficult balance between not making too much about yourself public, while writing a profile that doesn't feel flat to read. Also keep in mind people you know or are aquainted with offline might be able to see your profile and what they read might be the only thing they know about you, the guy who makes your coffee, your workmates etc.

The more I think about it, the more I am gravitating to just put it that I am introverted and high maintenance. I like that you can just block a person right away if there's something you don't like without risking anything. Can't make them instantly disappear in person like that. If anything it evens out the field for all of us tiny bit at a time.

you shouldnt write any of those things on your account imo. Also what do you mean by a video date? watching a video together or...?