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I wanted to ask what you all think of men who naturally have a lot of women around them, most likely because he's may be attractive or seem like a nice guy. And I am not talking about him being friendly with women, it's more like he spending time in a one-and-one situations with some of these women almost like they would be in some sort of bf-gf relationships but they only see and describe it as a friendship. Or having some women throw themselves on him and allowing it to happen in some way, and not trying to put boundaries on these interactions.
I always feel suspicious of men who have these kind of relationships with other women around them, because I do feel like friendships between a man and a woman is not that possible unless there's no attraction between them.
So what you'll think of this, and how to differentiate between a man who is simple respectful around women and that can have a friendly relationship with them, and a man who keeps all these women around because it gives him validation and an ego boost?
Absolute no-go. Red flags don't mean watch and wait- they mean STOP! Do not proceed! I don't care what our modern world has to say about this. It's not right. Men should hang out with other men, women with other women. When we are in relationships, then we can all get together as couples. That's the way it was before and that's the way it should be, IMO.
I used to think this was a good sign, but it's a massive red flag. He needs female attention or he dies. Run.
In my experience guys with a lot of female friends use them as token to prove they are not scrote
From previous experience, I side-eye hetero men who either surround themselves with women or have one really close female friend. The last male "friend" I dealt with tried to use me to triangulate & emotionally cheat on his gf. He even claimed she was okay with him having female friends but never told her about me. Since then I never looked at opposite sex friendships the same. The only time I'm fine with it is when we're single, mutually interested/attracted, & use it to build the foundation of our relationship.
A big NO. I think men use their female friends to show off and make other women including men jealous.
I know some women who are fine with this sort of thing. Personally, it's a no-go for me.
Also, I don't have male friends anyway. Perhaps some acquaintances-by-design, like male work colleagues that I'm close with (but never see outside of work), or a friends'-boyfriend's-friend that I only see in group settings.
It's just a comfort thing for me to keep platonic men at arm's length, and so I expect my partner to do the same. If I was seeing someone who divulged that they have many female friends that they talk to or hang out with a lot, I would see it less as a suspicious thing and just as a fundamental incompatibility. I don't care if they are actually, truly, 100% platonic; it just doesn't fit with what I'm looking for.
No boundaries would be a no go, he's probably soaking up the attention and if you got between him and a girl who's stuck on him he'll pit the two of you against each other. Another thing to consider is guys like this can be drug pushers, every time we'd see a guy surrounded by a bunch of women in the club we thought "coke whores" and sure enough he'd be slipping girls drugs to take to the bathroom and him and his friends sleeping with them. Another variety is the stringer in an "it's complicated" relationship where most of the women he'd been out with at some point. Another, has a Madonna whore complex, always complaining he can't find "the one".
I think guys can have lots of women friends but it has to be in the right context and there have to boundaries. None of them should be taking up the space meant for a girlfriend and he shouldn't be allowing his female friends to make romantic decisions for him.
I think the man with sisters is the least likely to be an ass, but sometimes they still are. I think it depends on how he talks about the Women around him and how he interacts with them. A lot of 1 on 1 time rather than group activities is sus. Hiding her from you is sus and so is triangulation. Also alot of the time if a man doesn't really have a lot of male friends its because even men can't stand him for some reason.
Sometimes he's a player. The player in Lundy bancroft loves to cheat and triangulate. Sometimes he likes to lead on unattractive women to be his cheerleaders and flying monkeys.
Sometimes he wants to be perceived as a player, but he's an annoying orbiter who franticly texts a bunch of different women, constantly begging for attention and guilting them. But wants you to think all these women contact him, want him, or "I have a chance." If it reeks of "there's a chance uwu 😍🤤" he is indeed trying to seem desired and triangulating. But rest assured these men are pathetic.
I've had a man triangulate me with a woman young enough to be his child. Gross. The way he talked about her kinda horrified me because its like why do you care so much? Why are you so invested in this inappropriately young compared to you *acquaintance*?
Another man triangulated me with a child. Bragged about a "milf" he slept with had a 12 or 14yr old daughter that gave him "sex eyes". He was a pilot with a micro penis. I'll never look at pilots the same again and I've heard they're notorious buttholes too.
Observation and vetting! Sorry - that's all there is. If he's genuinely respectful and likes women then he will form friendships with them. The boundaries that are observed in same sex friendships will be observed in this scenario.
I would at least be suspicious and try to find out how that situation originated.
Does he have mostly female coworkers for some reason and all the coworkers hang out together? Could be harmless, especially if the female coworkers' partners etc. are also present.
Is he specifically seeking out "friendships" with multiple women but not with men? Definitely shady and a red flag.
Are they "group hang" situations where everyone brings their current partner and you would also be invited or is he meeting those women alone?
It would also be interesting to find out why he doesn't want to hang out with other men or why other men don't want to hang out with him.
I have two male friends I would consider close. One is gay (okay... three male friends if we count his husband) and the other is also my colleague and business partner and we have been working together for ages. He met his fiancee through me. If we have one-on-one meetings it's always work related and in work contexts and if we hang out in our free time his fiancee is usually with us. It would never occur to me to e.g. meet him for dinner/drinks alone outside of work or do other date-like things alone with him.
Haaaaaaard pass. At LEAST one is a woman he’s wanted to/has had sex with. Possibly one who already rejected him that he keeps in orbit. Every. Single. Time.
I’m suspicious too. I have a close male friend who is married and all my other close friends are female. My boyfriend had one close female friend and all of his others are male. We’ve met each other’s opposite sex friends, really like them and crucially like their spouses. So my boyfriend rarely sees his female friend alone any more and we go out as two couples. I’ve never really socialised alone with my friend, we just text then I hung out with him and his wife. You can have opposite sex friends, it’s just how people go about it. It’d be odd if we wanted to have private time. We’re seeing my male friend soon and I know we’ll find time to have a personal talk but that can be done on the patio while his wife and my boyfriend play with the kids on the lawn. Why would I need to see him without them there as long as we can get a bit of time to nerd out about our shared hobby?
I don't know what is worse, a guy with harem of female friends, or a guy who has just male friends. I've been to "a date" with a guy who has only brothers and male friends, and it was insufferable. I think that man should have female friends too. But there should be some boundaries of course.
Danger ahead. Trust your gut! Always trust your instinct. That's hard to do but you must do it.
There's no way to differentiate. HVM fake HVM too much. They all the same to me. At any point they turn hypocrite or bipolar. Can take years for their mask to drop.
He is simply a disposable hoe <3
Love this!!! 💯