Men marry the woman in front of them?

I think this is true for a lot of men. Woman are sold this fake idea of 'true love requires sacrifice' while (LVM) men ruthlessly think about how a woman can serve them.

I see HVMs as looking for a woman that they want to love and cherish forever, regardless of what she can do for them. Her acts of service and sex are a bonus to them, not a significant factor in deciding to marry her. HVM's find a woman to love and cherish forever when her presence and energy in his life are what he's looking for.

I think even her values come second to presence and energy. Men seem to be more flexible in this regard. HVMs realize that their partner is always right when it comes to matters of the relationship and family, so they're willing to change their views to suit her if they love her (not from a place of resentment).

However, finding a man who has values aligned with your own should be of high importance. Even if a man has a genuine desire to change his values, it is very difficult to do that.

For example if a man was raised frugally and marries a woman who wants to spend on designer items often, it would be difficult for him to shift his mindset without feeling a sense of stress and insecurity. If this man was a HVM, he would gracefully exit the relationship upon uncovering a difference in values that he knows is irreconcilable.

I’ve always believed that men are ruled by proximity. They will always sleep with, date, or marry whatever woman is the most physically available to them — (not necessarily sexually, just a woman in their social circle, work circle, or someone they repeatedly run into). The loser-est of the losers will settle for whatever woman is the most available to them by internet or texting. The proximity rule always proves itself true.

I agree with this theory. Also, men are hugely motivated in relationships by ego validation from their peers. This shifts at some point from "the hottest girl I can pull" to "who is the wife who will garner me the most respect from other men / family / colleagues, while looking after my needs." Men are strategic and the majority do not marry for love; their behaviour proves this as they are quick to abandon their partners when they have exhausted their usefulness to them.

True. Also called Rule 28 in some places, he’ll marry whatever ok woman he’s dating when he’s 28 years old and out of grad school etc. First kid arrives around 3 years later. His career does better once he’s a married father. Marriage is just so beneficial to professional men overall that they’ll just go for it out of convenience. Look around at how practically none of them ever relocate for a woman.

My ex husband married me because I was there. He was 30, needed to get married, and voila! There I was...young, dumb, and believed in love.🤣 He didn't even like my personality or anything that made me special or different. He hated my piano playing, singing, volleyball, weight lifting, etc. He hated that I was smart and studied. He's now on Wife #3. My sister's husband was the same. He even cut her out of his will right before the wedding, told her to quit her job so they could have kids, and then he proceeded to avoid having sex for 3 years whilst playing video games all night. He planned to leave her jobless and destitute. He'd had a son when he was in high school thar he never told her about. The evil of men knows know bounds.

Steve Harvery touched on this in his book, "Act like a woman, Think like a man". Yes, men do marry the woman that's in front of them, once they are ready. It's sad but true.

Is there a way to know if a man is marrying you for this reason? I don't want to be deceived.

As per usual, men’s fear that we settle for them and the biological clock is them telling on themselves.

This is very true. It's why timing is ultimately the end all be all in the decision to marry. It's who's there when I'm ready and looking