men "I like to have a 50/50 relationship" and pretending to be about "equality"

I had male friends in the past and several encounters where I would just let men talk. if he starts mentioning something that sounds like a red flag or about his past relationships, do not stop him, let him talk and listen because you will learn a lot about who he is. for example, this guy told me that he liked taking women on dinner dates, that he would pay (why even mention to me that he pays for a date? red flag), and talked about how he was looking for a mature, adult relationship. he elaborated explaining to me that he liked his ex because "she had it together" and then described to me how she was always working a full time job, how she had her own group of like minded friends and a healthy social life with them, how she managed all the bills in the house, and would grocery shop. okay, so she's an adult.

he was saying then that he liked a "50/50 relationship" and then basically explained to me that she was working and running the house and then would ask him to do things here and there. clearly, it wasn't anywhere near 50/50 she was doing what sounded like almost all of it, and had to beg him to do 10%.

we all hate the 50/50 splitting the check on the date nonsense, but imagine living in that type of situation with a man. the thing is, grown adults have no need to even mention going 50/50 on the house and housework. a healthy and mature relationship takes 2 individuals who are adults. you clean up after yourself, you keep the space clean, you keep up with things, and you take care of yourself. you have your own money, career, and social life. so, he should as well!

50/50 is dangerous because it can be a trick from lvm into a mommy-mcbangmaid lifestyle, like this guy was alluding to. the woman is doing majority of the responsibilities and then has to beg the man to help around the house and pay bills. it creates a scorekeeping mentality "well I took the trash out yesterday, so you take It out today" and "I made the dinner, so can you wash the dishes?" see its creating demands and having to go after him to do his "share". its mentally score keeping, remembering who did what, and it's your/my "turn". remember kindergarten? when we had to share and take turns? (remember the infamous chore charts from the fds sub, when you're mentally scorekeeping and taking turns its basically keeping track of a chore chart). having to scorekeep is more work mentally, and often, the woman finds herself having to ask and remind the man to "do his share" and do the chore, something that a mother will do with a small child. and then before she knows it she is a mommy-mcbangmaid. (and now because she is asking him to do chores she's now a "nag")

you can get roommates if you want 50/50: splitting rent and ultilities, taking turns for chores and who cooks, etc.

even when I had women as roommates, it was the bills that got split. we all cleaned up after ourselves, when common areas started to get dirty whoever was home would take care of it. we saw a problem? we took care of it ourselves, didn't feel a need to fuss over who's turn it was. someone saw the soap was running low? they'd buy a new one when they were at the store. weekends we had family dinner. we'd each chip in ingredients and cook a big meal together and clean up together. there was no scorekeeping or begging to help. if someone didn't want to participate, they didn't get a plate. but there was also mutual generosity: someone had something extra, someone had some leftovers or a cereal box they opened and didn't like they'd offer it to the house - someone was stopping at the grocery store and would send a text asking if anyone needed anything. mutual maturity and respect.

a healthy relationship with a man looks a little bit like how it was with my roommates. you're both cleaning up after yourselves, and you're both actively contributing to the good of the house. the bathroom is always clean because you're both keeping on top of it. someone sees something is running out so they replace it. you see laundry getting full, you go do it. for meals, you can cook and cleanup together. if one of you really hates cooking, then maybe you can have an agreement where one cooks and the other cleans up. there is no true 50/50. maybe he is better at moving things, maybe he's better trimming trees and taking care of the weeds, maybe its easier for him to get the bedsheet to stay on the bed and maybe you're better at taking care of the garden and getting the pesky stains out of the laundry? then its okay to acknowledge those and agree that those responsibilities can be for one person. you need to have an understanding of what life is like and agree to things before you live together. but my point is with a high value person, you never should have to feel like you have to "pest" and be asking the other person to be keeping up with the responsibilities of living there. you both should be contributing without being asked, it should be automatic. if something comes up, then you work together through it. someone gets sick? you take care of them and step up. don't be fussing, just do it. because if you'd get sick, they should be taking care of you and stepping up in the same sense as well. there's effort, appreciation, generosity, and reciprocation on both ends.

there is no such thing as a 50/50 relationship. men who say this are the scrotes that make memes like this fish insinuating women are "gold diggers" who "try taking advantage of men". if you even have to say it, he's not mature and not ready. when you do live with a man you do need that chat of how bills and responsibilities will be managed because you do need to be on the same page - but it should not look like scorekeeping or a mental chore chart.