.png)
A lot of men (especially those from the manosphere) have a narrow view of what women find attractive. They think women are only into tall, muscular, extroverted, smooth-talking, rich, and popular "chads" who hit the gym all the time. They hence invest a lot into becoming or portraying themselves like this.
Sure, some of us are into men like that but a lot of us don't prefer men like that. Many of us also admire characteristics such as being talented at something, having passions and hobbies, having a good sense of humour, and being intelligent. Men often overlook these traits and think we are only into what they see as "chad-like". When they fail to get the girl they want, they'll start shaming women for only being into "chads" when the truth is this is not the case.
OLD is actually pretty boring for me. "Chad-like" men are actually not my cup of tea yet most men on OLD portray themselves like this. There is a lack of "variety" of men on OLD. I actually like introverted, talented, and intelligent men who are not that tall and muscular and I almost never come across men like that on OLD. For me, it's a turn off for men to pretend to be someone they're not and a lot of men on OLD give me the vibe that they're portraying themselves to be "chad-like" when they're not.
They can't fathom women aren't a hive mind and might be into different types of guys. If they could get over this misogyny, they would see there's hope, but they won't.
I prefer guys to be taller than me but not too tall. To win me over right now it’d be about bringing some positive masculine energy into my life; fix my dishwasher, take me to the airport when I visit my family then take me out for an elegant meal wearing a good suit when I get back. Engage me in interesting conversation then seduce me, make me go weak at the knees and deliver some damn fine vanilla lovemaking. The bar is in hell. I know I’m not deluded for holding out for these things.
I think it’s easier for them to go to the gym then to level up in a myriad of other ways (education, wealth, volunteering, health and hygiene)
And they can strut for other men while they’re lifting. Superficial improvement with nothing inside.
This may have something to do with the fact that a lot of men are invested in a particular type of woman--i.e., arm candy, which I suppose would be the female equivalent of Chad?--to show off to their bros, and assume we operate similarly. Although they also claim we're "not visual" so idk. Male "logic" is anything but....
I actually don't find overly muscular men attractive - like if he looks like he spends a ton of time at the gym and is peacocking about it. Ditto for square jaws, overly groomed, etc. and can men please fuck off with their Drake beards. What I find attractive is much more subtle.
Some men also look like Spongebob and think they deserve the hottest woman alive.
I have always been into androgynous, quiet (but still social), romantic, introspective men. "Chads" and "alphas" don't entice me, I don't drool over abs, I don't need him to wear a suit and expensive watch, I prefer casual, goofy and cuddly. Do you think any man has ever listened to me when I told him that there's real people like me who are into this type of man? Nope. They only care about men's opinions about what women like. Ridiculous.
Guys think women are attracted to the type of guy they find attractive
It's because we're not people to them and are all basically one-dimensional characters in their minds.
They're simply projecting their inherent visual biases onto women. They're the ones who are obsessed with Instagram models and Only Fans chicks, and they're roughly 1% of the population. I've been in the Army followed by construction since 1995, and I've yet to see even 1 single guy. All of them, big, tall, short, fat, small, and even bald, they have wives and girlfriends. And lots of them have both. Women settle for the best men they can find, and this 666 stuff reeks of propaganda designed to further foment hatred between men and women and to encourage the dissolution of the family.
I find the "pretty boy" aesthetic my favorite...think Robert Pattinson with a bit of eyeliner smudged around his eyes, the contrast between pale skin and dark hair, bags under the eyes, just the grunge aesthetic in general. Complete opposite of this Chad Thundercock BS. I love men who are into fashion, hygeine/skincare, and can hold a conversation for hours. Vulnerable,sensitive, and gentle men are sexy as hell.
Funny that even after the rise of K-Pop they still think all women like "chads". I like pretty guys that looks clean
Thank you!
it has been also baffling to me that in my 40 years I could never find a decent man who is also what I would want physically. it seemed like it would be so easy for me to find a right partner for me and I have found it to be so hard that I don’t look for or think anyone like that even exists anymore.
I have specific taste for a guy who is chubby, and some other things like curly hair and a nice facial hair pattern are very appealing to me. Height not really cause I am only 5’2” so pretty much every man is tall to me. but also this has worked against me because most guys who are chubby have a vendetta against all the women they didn’t get to sleep with(they automatically think that being overweight is why they were not drowning in vaginas their whole life and assume that every other guy is).
it used to bother me to no end to date a guy for a year or two and then he suddenly decides he needs to eat only keto or something and go to the gym all the time and decides to do that to upgrade from me. I feel like many guys have dated me until they become who they have always wanted to be and I was just seen as a placeholder until they do that. It is bothersome to be seen as a “pick-me” when it is my actual and real preference that i only will touch someone with a good level of softness on their body and i feel like cuddling with a muscly man is like cuddling with a bunch of rocks.
And the ideal for them is never what is ideal for me. self-improvement for them has never meant being more clean around the house, or not playing so many video games, or being a better partner. It has always been about having a more muscly or thin body to attract other/more quantity of women. it really bugs me how superficial men are and how their own body ideals make me a lower value woman in their eyes. It would be really cool to date someone who is happy with his own body but I have not found that. i only met the men who have this weird thing in their head that I am settling for them and that they are settling for me until they become who will attract most women. It’s insulting and makes me feel like something Is wrong with me that I cannot change.
Those huge muscles are so ugly.
They have a narrow view because they foolishly believe women think the same as men, and to men, a woman flashing her tits is attractive, so of course sending dick pics and tongue pics MUST be attractive to women!
Men with shredded prefrontal cortexes from porn addiction can't fathom nor emphtize, hence they lack the ability to put themselves into women's shoes and think through what could be attractive to women. They don't even spend time thinking deeper than what they do, juding based on looks and a very few other criteria. They outright project and flip the script in their mind and that's the result.
Men who generally don't watch porn seem to have an easier time to actually perceive and understand.
I am not a visual person, so apps just don't work for me. I cannot tell from a picture whether or not I will be attracted to someone. Within reason of course. There are definite NOs, swipe left, for sure. But I work with energy. They might be medium ugly, but maybe there is an energetic connection I feel with them. None of my exs would win a GQ contest, but there was something endearing/charismatic about all of them that I was attracted to. But there's definitely things I look for, hygiene, dental care is big for me, working out, healthy nutrition, into self care basically. But do they need to be Brad Pitt? Nope.
Am I the only one who has never had a specific "type" in the visual sense? Personally, I don't have an "ideal guy" in the sense that I am attracted to someone who is exactly this tall, has blonde hair, brown eyes, this body type, this ethnicity, beard or no beard etc..
The things men who are my "type" have in common to make them a "type" are different. I am attracted to well-groomed (and that includes wearing a decent, flattering haircut and style of facial hair etc.), well-dressed men who are not over- or underweight or significantly shorter than me, yes. But that's not a "type", that's being attracted to a healthy, mature adult = the bare minimum.
To be honest, the characteristics that make men "my type" have very little to do with their looks. Decent looks are the bare minimum and that's difficult enough to find these days already.
The fact is that so many of them are so damn BORING. The Office is not a personality, playing video games is not a talent, tacos are not a lifestyle.
If they were just interested in the world and the people around they would be on their way to levelling up. That in combination with some human empathy, thoughtfulness, and personal drive and you have yourself a chance.
Too bad they just don't care.