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I have been celibate since July of 2021, which is the month I was finally free of my abuser of 6 years. I am still healing 20 months later. Although I am not ready to seriously date again, I wanted to test out some FDS rules IRL. I am still pretty new to it all having only discovered FDS in Dec 2022. So I haven't had any IRL practice of the rules yet.
A week ago, A younger male approached me. Because I look younger, he thought I was around his age, but I told him my real age, and he says, that I've still got it, and he prefers older women because females his age play too many games. Uumm K.. He said he moved to my state from Texas 8 months ago and wanted to actively date, that he didn't drink, and that he wanted to take me out etc. Ok. I already knew from the age difference that it wasn't going to work, but I wanted to practice my FDS muscles per se.
Well his mask slipped in one week. It only took me 2 times of me asserting my boundaries before he was insulting and disrespecting me. He texts for a same day date. I tell him I already have cycling plans with friends. Because no last minute dates! Then he texts at 11:30pm saying he's thinking about me. I tell him I'm going to bed cause I've got to work.
Then what does he do? The very next night at exactly 11:30pm, he straight up asks me for a booty call. After me saying how I sleep at that time and have to work. He just straight up completely disrespecte me.
Well I decided to go off on him. I know the advise is to immediately b and d. But I really wanted to disrespect him right back for disrespecting me in such a horrible way. Anyways, I attached the screenshots.
But its amazing how I have been protecting myself for 20 months, and the first time I open the door a little crack, I get heavily verbally abused for enforcing my standards.
and he prefers older women because females his age play too many gamesActually the scrote's mask slipped once he said this line to you....you really didn't need a whole week for this dumb whore to show his true colors to you, if you only paid attention to his choice of words. Also the "Hey beautiful" gave it away as well.
He said that line to you in order to psychologically manipulate you and to triangulate you with younger women so that you as an older woman would feel pressured to not be like those other girls who "play games" subconsciously you will start feeling pressured to meet his expectation of "older women not playing games" thus you start becoming self conscious of your behavior around this scrote because you don't wanna end up like those younger girls who play games and you want to prove to this scrote that you are not like the other girls. Can you see the tricks and the games?
When a scrote bitches about women playing games it's a major red flag, because that means he's the one playing the games and is projecting hard, and wants to be the only one to play games without getting played back.
We also know that women playing games in a scrote's book translates to women who don't wanna be played because they have high standards, they set boundaries, have demands and are not a ride or die pickme cool girl.
Basically the scrote was projecting at best, and was trying to manipulate you at worst.
I hate when guys say "you still got it". I'm 35 and I had a young guy at work keep telling me over and over again how I "still got it." Like no shit I'll always still have it. I don't need your male validation.
Good for you for setting boundaries but I was cringing a little bit reading the wall of text that you sent to him. Just block next time without explanation, I'm 100% sure he didn't even read it through.
Ehh.... I know you were angry and all but I didn't like the "I'm not some 25 dumb y.o girl" or using "cunt" to refer to women... its ok, it takes time to get yourself over the pick me mindset. Also you don't have to send a wall of text to a guy who doesn't respect you at all. Your time is precious, you're a queen, you don't waste your time in useless scrotes. Just block and delete. Thats it 💕
I'm really sorry you went through that. They're like sharks circling and the second we step out from a peaceful celibate life they attack. The first red flag is the hey beautiful- every guy I've ever seen use that line has been a covert narcissist. I'd just assume every male is a narcissist until proven otherwise. I wouldn't have even unblocked and opened the floodgates I'd just have straight blocked and deleted all convo and not even give the turd any explanation since silence speaks volumes. They feed off our negative reactions and attention.
Could have just blocked him way earlier. He was being a slimy scrote from the beginning. "Backshots" sealed his fate forever. Don't waste your time answering messages like this. Having boundaries includes not giving them any more attention than they deserve.
What a gross scrote 🤮
Honestly, he’ll probably just use what you’ve said to better fool the next girl he chats up; don’t give them pointers about what they did wrong (because the answer is “everything”).
Either that, or he was deliberately trying to get a reaction out of you. Probably figured there was a 10% chance you’d be down, and a 90% chance you’d entertain him by getting mad. Blocking them is the only way to refuse their game.
This guys english is atrocious.
A guy who can’t even spell expects women to be his free anal sex worker and he expects women to deliver themselves to him. What the what.
The bar is in hell. Male entitlement has no limit. I’m so sorry you had to deal with this b.s.
Edit:
I‘d recommend the reading book
“Why does he do that” By Lundy Bancroft if you haven’t yet. The book goes into great detail about vetting out abusive men.
I understand your anger. He was baiting you into having a reaction. Men like women to react to them. Men want our attention whether it's negative or positive. Although your feelings are valid, your energy is sacred. He doesn't deserve any of it. In the future block and delete no explanation given. Men know. They ALWAYS know. If you really want to get under a man's skin ignore/block him.
Respect for standing up for yourself and your boundaries, but I never advise paragraphing at men. It's a waste of your previous energy, Queen. Just block, delete, yeet, and keep living your best life. Loss of our attention is the best way to put them in their place.
Just a heads up: His mask slipped as soon as he said "females his age play too many games" and "you still got it [at your age]", which is a neg.
Don’t waste your time next time. Just block. A dude send a dick pic while I told him not to do it. I expressed my disappointment in one text and just blocked.
"Scrotes will scrote" is all I can say. *shaking my head*
Thanks for sharing your field report.
Funny, before the booty call text, I was naively thinking that by enforcing my boundaries, he would pick up on respecting my time, and follow up with asking me out with advance notice. But instead he went entirely in the other direction, and double downed on the disrespect. And what a cheap shot to call me old, how original. Like I didn't see that coming from a mile away. I wasn't too old for him to approach me and ask me out! Him telling me he can see why I'm old, single and childless?? Cause I won't tolerate his using me?? Huh? I am childfree by choice, and I've been married and divorced twice and won't ever get married again because of scrotes like him.
💓